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Pursue Your Writing Dreams and Have No Regrets

I am excited to have author and good friend Hilary Grossman share her thoughts on writing her memoir Dangled Carat. 

I met Robert De Niro on Valentine’s Day at an event for work. I introduced myself to him and shook his hand. I felt like I should have also pinched myself, because he’s always been on the top of my “celebrity I want to meet” bucket list.

There was a cocktail reception that followed the presentation. Rob, as he was affectionately referred to by the speakers, attended for a very short time. Many people swarmed around him, all with the goal in mind to snag a picture. Despite encouragement from one of my colleagues I didn’t make the attempt.  I hung back.

My colleague got the last picture with him before he left the building.  He was very kind and wrapped his arm around her as they posed and smiled for the camera. She proudly showed me the picture and chastised me for not joining her.  And I was instantly filled with regret.

I don’t know about you, but to me, regret is the worst feeling in the world. It is because I hate the feeling so much I wrote DANGLED CARAT.

Dangled-Carat-Hilary-Grossman FINAL

Deciding to write a memoir about your relationship with a commitment-phobic man isn’t easy.  Especially when you know that you have to bare your heart and your soul, share your inner most feelings, as well as many personal moments and sometimes embarrassing moments.

I have to be honest. I often cringe when someone, especially in my professional life, mentions that they read my book. But that awkwardness passes quickly, and only lasts for a second. The feeling is quickly replaced by excitement and pride.

From as far back as I can remember, I was always a bookworm. My biggest dream was to one day write a book. And over the years I tried to, but never was able to commit to the story. I truly never thought I would accomplish my goal.

Then I started dating Mr. Commitment-Phobic. I couldn’t help it, I kept thinking that our relationship would make a great book. After all, it mirrored almost every chick lit book I read and chick flick I watched, and featured a cast of characters that only real life could create.

There were several parts of my story that were difficult to write. I shed many tears as I relived some difficult moments. But for the most part I felt like I was just chatting about my relationship with a great friend over a bottle of wine.

My biggest wish for sharing my story was that I could help other people in the same situation. Dating a commitment-phobe is something that so many other women experience. I wanted my story to help them feel like they weren’t alone.  I wanted my experience to help them realize that they should follow their hearts and not only conventional dating wisdom and the advice of well-meaning family and friends.

And based upon the emails, tweets and Facebook messages I have received this past year, my wish has come true. And I accomplished my life long goal in the process. Unlike that picture with Bob, I have no regrets!

headshot 1 - Author Hilary Grossman is the CFO of MHW, Ltd by day and writer by night.  Her debut novel Dangled Carat is about one girl’s attempt to convert the ultimate commitment-phobic man into a doting husband with a lot of help from his family and friends!

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Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook

11 replies

  1. My own memoir is about turning I wish I had into I’m glad I did. I hope you’ll have another encounter with De Niro, Hilary. From everything I’ve heard about him, he’d be a delightful person to meet.

    1. Andra – congrats on your memoir! What a great subject! I would love to meet him again and actually sit and chat with him. But I doubt that will happen 🙂

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