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Onion Boy and his Hot Dog

My first minimum wage job at the age of fifteen was  working the late shift  at a small town convenience store .  On the night shift one of my duties was to clean the dreaded hot dog machine. I would take the hot dogs out that had been sitting there for fifteen hours, drain the water,  try not to gag, and  then clean it.

I can still smell the putrid aroma of rotting hot dogs floundering on the edge of hell. It was disgusting.


Another part of that job was dealing with a wide array of customers renting and returning videos. My favorite customers were the ones who would attempt to rent a video while they had a  fifty dollar late fee for not returning the latest porn video on time.  Usually, they would blush,  give you a good  reason for it being late , and with  a “one time only” warning  I would waive the fee.

However, there was always the exception to that  rule with  the one belligerent jerk that insisted on berating you, calling you names, and then wait for you to remove the late fee.

It would never happen – I would get the very scary manager and she would tell him off.

Problem  solved! He would storm out of the store flabbergasted that: 1) He was out of line for verbal abuse 2) Expected to pay the late fee 3) And now looked like a complete asshole in front of everyone at the store.

So when I go to my local convenience store for odds and ends I remember being swamped at the cash, dealing with a wide array of people in the public, and all of the dirty jobs of keeping the store clean while working for very low wages.

Just the other day I felt lucky and popped into the local convenience store to purchase a lotto ticket.  I waited my turn in line as the clerk worked to serve each customer. It is when I heard one angry gentleman yell across the store, “Onions! Where are the onions?”

The clerk politely smiled “I will be with you in a minute.”

“There are no onions for my hot dog!”

“Just one minute, Sir!”

He huffed! He stomped! And he huffed some more! I was waiting for him to blow the store down.

As I watched his silly gesturing and anger I thought only one thing  – you sir are a huge asshole!

This  lovely clerk working by herself did not deserve to be bullied into rushing to the rescue with onions.   What I wished for this clerk was that her manager was standing close by to usher onion boy out the door.  No one deserves to be treated like a doormat over the simple case of missing onions.

So as I watched onion boy hold his hot dog all I could think of was the putrid smell and how long that hot dog had been sitting in the machine. I imagined the pain he would feel in his  stomach and  the sudden rush to go to the washroom countless times that night. One can only hope his stomach is weak!

If he had only been polite maybe someone would have warned him not to eat the hot dog.

Categories: Humor

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Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook

32 replies

  1. What a great post-I was a waitress all through college and due to that I am a great customer. I tell my friends they should make their kids wait or bus tables at least one summer of their lives just so they see both sides of life. I have definitely had my share of difficult customers.

  2. I love the hot dogs that turn for hours under heat lamps! I always thought they tasted better than other hot dogs. But you never did say what you did with them after they’d been sitting there for 15 hours. Inquiring minds are dying to know…

  3. I worked in a bar a couple of years ago and some people were just so so rude. I think everyone should have to work in a shop, bar or restaurant at some point, might teach them some manners.

  4. I’ve got to say I’ve always loved hot dogs, but then I’ve always hated rudeness and bullying, so the guys who gave you and the other girl grief deserve everything they get in my opinion

  5. sometimes the way angry people throw their polluted attitude around stinks! i like to think their rotten energies are eating holes in their innards. great write up 🙂

  6. Working at a convenience store is scary and bad for your health. Yes, the hot dogs are one of those things but there are those people who rob the place at gunpoint too.

    I enjoyed the read.

  7. OMG, That was so funny!!!!! and I hope I never have to see or eat one of those hot dogs…But, I can tell you if i see anyone looking for onions – I may just burst out laughing 🙂

  8. Like others who posted, I waited tables for awhile so I always tip well when it is deserved because I remember how tough that job is and what type of patience is required.

  9. Also wanted to add that the drawing of “Onion Boy” looks just like Roger from the old Nickelodeon TV show “Doug”. I am sure you likely remember it perhaps if you have a younger sibling cause I saw from your Linda Hamilton post that we are about the same age.

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