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Why ‘This is Forty’ Scared the Hell Out of Me

I was sipping wine, smiling, and  having one of those moments of feeling out of the loop when my friends started discussing This is Forty.  They were kind enough to tip toe over  any of the important details with me and just exclaimed ” You have to see it!”

I saw it.

It scared the bejesus out of me! It was not a sweet romantic comedy. It was my worst nightmare! Nightmare! I am still breaking into sweats over it.

Spoiler Alert: Do not continue reading if you have not seen this movie. I am not that kind and will not be tip toeing over the details. In fact, I wish someone had told me!

I am in my mid-thirties and have always been looking forward to turning forty.  I am saving up for a National Geographic Photo Safari for when I turn forty. I am going to do my Master’s degree in my forties. I am also positive that vanity will take its toll on me and several of my body parts  will be surgically lifted. It is also  in my forties I am fully aware that my husband will have a mid-life crisis  get hair plugs and purchase a motorcycle.

Since watching This is Forty I have a new fear! A horrible fear! Waking up to realize my husband has injected his old sperm in me and WHAM I am pregnant!

Perhaps, I am over-reacting but the fact of the matter is I had my kids in my  early twenties and I have dreamed of  forties being that magical time sans kids.

As I watch the movie with unease as Debbie discovers  she is pregnant at forty while almost being over the hump of raising her two children out the door.   You can see the agony and pain on her face. We all know it. Debbie knows it. One more child ruins the game plan.  It ruins everything except Debbie is trapped because it is wrong to say one more child ruins everything.

I know pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time for everyone. But I am going to say  it for Debbie “It sucks. Pregnant at forty would suck.”

Thank you This is Forty for giving me nightmares for the next five years and I will be evaluating all birth control options in defense of old sperm. I have got plans!

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Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook

27 replies

  1. It wouldn’t be so bad. You just have your older kids watch your youngest kid when you need a break! I have mixed feelings over the whole thing too, though. Now that my kids are both out of the house AND I’M FREE AT LAST – (not that I’m excited about this or anything) – I do sometimes wonder what would happen if Tara got pregnant. Which, the romantic in me happens to believe, would be an amazing and wonderful event. Then again, I’m in my 40s, she’s your age. It wouldn’t be so bad for her! Yet.

    1. True. They could watch the youngest but then there is all of that other parental stuff you still have to go through, again.

      I think it all depends on the stage of life. I am happy with two and they are wonderful. I feel fulfilled with my little family.

      I vowed when I had them in my youth that my forties would be enjoyable. And by the time I was fifty-five I would be ready for grandkids. I have got it all planned.

      1. Ahh, but sometimes the best-laid plans…

        Anyway, it sounds like you know what you want and have taken the steps necessary to achieve it. Good for you!

        Maybe your 40s can be spent parading around comic book stores watching 20-something D&D freaks drooling over you. 😉

      2. Hahaha! No Thank you. I am better suited for being an old curmudgeon sitting in the dark corner of a coffee shop.

        We all have the best laid plans and sometimes they just never go the way we want it. Who knows?

        I do wish you and Tara the best! It is an exciting time for you! And babies always bring good things 🙂

  2. I had heard that this movie wasn’t as funny as you’d expect. Too real, I guess. As for plans, the only thing I have learned for sure is that Plans Change Often. When I was younger that sounded great, but now I think of it more as a dire warning. Of course, I’m over 40, so what do you expect?

    1. It had some very funny and real moments. I liked it. But just watching her deal with the fact that she was pregnant made me cringe. I know she accepts it and moves forward with grim determination.

      I know plans change but oye. Pregnant at 40 would be a big change for me.

  3. This is forty-four for me: I am fixed. MTM is fixed. (For good measure; he’s 49.) We travel. We have sex whenever we like, wherever we want. Some things bag and sag, but I just drink more wine, and it doesn’t matter. 🙂 Don’t believe everything you see in the movies. Forty can be whatever you dream it to be. xo

  4. I have to see this movie… I never thought much about 40 – but now I am 39 and turning 40 in november and now I can’t stop thinking about it. I see my grays coming in faster between colors and the laugh lines getting deeper. I talk about Botox a lot… UGH!

  5. oh, this is too funny. that line about high boobies!! i thought people are saying the forties is the new thirties or maybe twenties for some. 😆
    cheers, Darcie. i think it is time for some refreshment. 🙂

  6. We all cring over different things but its cringing just the same. I think having to go through parenthood all over again, would be a nightmare. Lets hope it doesn’t progress beyond that

  7. I am glad I am not the only one with that nightmare – at least 3 years ago I did something about it! I am like you are I am going to travel to an international destination for my 40th:) Take Care – Have a Great Day!

  8. Haha, I’m still in my twenties. Don’t even have kids yet. But I see how the horror could set it. Plans are plans! Especially something as cool as a NatGeo Photo Safari.

  9. 1-being 12 and under sucked because I could never do what I wanted to do. And besides, I hated school (did I mention that I have spent 30 years as an educator–that’s entirely a different matter)
    2-bring a young teenager was not great because of both issues in #1 and, now, there was this whole peer pressure thing. While I never was the kind that anyone bullied (far too saucy and spitey for that) it was no fun being the nerdy type in a tiny fishing community but I didn’t really care as I had a circle of good friends.
    3-being an older teenager sucked a little less because I got to go away to university at age 16 and live in a res. I still hated school and was always broke.
    3-being in the twenties was better still but still not great because I was working so hard to become good at what I do. Grad school was great, though.
    4-The thirties were very nice. I married and great woman and our four kids were born. I found I enjoyed being Dad. I also found a job I loved with the DOE.
    5-The forties were wonderful. My kids grew more into people I really liked. Marriage stayed strong. I continued to love work and was given more autonomy and found great respect from my peers.
    6-The fifties are amazing but I’m nowhere near the end of them so we’ll see where they take me.

    Do you see a pattern here? Simply put means we get more autonomy and choices and more friends. It gets better and better!

    Oh and go drag yer fella down to the urologist and get him snipped. It does not hurt (and if he says otherwise he’s a wimp) and there’s no lasting discomfort.

    1. I completely understand about growing up in a small maritime community and being nerdy is never a good thing. Maybe that is why we develop such a good sense of humor?

      I see a marvelous pattern! And things will only get better! Much better!

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