As I leisurely strolled down the Costco aisle I discovered Maiden Form Fat Free Dressing Tank Top for the low price of 19.99! I was immediately hooked and grabbed a medium! It the cheaper version of Spanx with the promise of hiding my muffin tops that appealed to my vanity.
The next morning I decided it was time to breakout this wonderful new purchase and try it on to see if it really was fat free!
I slid it over my shoulders with ease but somehow it got tangled just before hitting my well endowed chest.
It was stuck!
I stood there trying to wiggle my arms out and fell over on top of the bed. It felt as if this fat sucker was strangling me! I couldn’t breathe and had to get it off!
In the midst of my panic “Scissors! Where are the scissors?”
I couldn’t find them!
I wondered was I doomed to be in the Newspapers the next morning “Woman strangled by Fat Sucker!”
Oh! The humility!
I calmed myself took a deep breath and tried to wiggle out again. I wiggled, hummed, hawed, stretched, jumped, and rolled!
It was amen to the heavens above! I somehow managed to break free from the fat suckers clutches!
I then held the evil contraption in my hand and looked down at the size!
“God damn it! I bought a small!”
The moral of the story is if your vanity feels the call of the fat sucker make sure to buy the right size or it could have you in its horrible clutches of doom.
Have you ever been attacked by an article of clothing?
Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/darciecameronlovesyoga