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Hard of Hearing

What could be more wonderful than sharing the kitchen with the ones we love over the holidays? However, I hate sharing my kitchen, and my mother hates not being in the kitchen!

It was at the middle stage of Christmas preparation that we had this conversation:Β 

“Mom, do you want me to make the sauce?”


“Would you like me to make the sauce?”


“The Sauce! Do you want me to make the sauce?”



“Christ! You’re loud! Stop yelling!”

It’s at that moment I reach for the bottle and pour myself another full glass of wine. Sometimes it is a holiday necessity…

How do you politely tell the ones you love that they need a hearing aid?

Categories: Hard of Hearing Hearing loss Loss of Hearing Squabbling in the kitchen

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Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook

36 replies

  1. I have been partially deaf my entire life. Honestly, it’s a pain and it’s dangerous. If a hearing aid would help, I would get one, but in my case having things louder on one side would be pointless.

    However, I have only recently become blind (plan on it at age 47). It took me four years to get a decent pair of prescription progessive glasses – I CAN SEE! I can walk in the grocery store AND read the labels . . . it’s the little things (seeing them) that make me happy.

    This is my very long way of saying, when your Mom can’t hear anymore, she’ll get the hearing aid. I guess you could try whispering.

  2. Reminds me of my great-aunt who is set in her ways. I can’t tell her anything, so I say my piece and leave her to do whatever she pleases…. which is what she was gonna do in the first place.

  3. that’s me. seriously. and I’m not quite deaf yet!

    nelle, the near vision loss that onsets at 40 (and keeps getting worse) is the pits. last appt. the optometrist told me my near vision can’t get much worse. hah, i’ll show him. i’m overdue for my appointment and my vision is starting to get blurry again!

  4. Love it! You can tell your loved ones at any time you notice they need it, however, from what I have read, your mom is like mine, and will deny it all the way…

    Also, if she hates the kitchen, remember she may be hard of hearing or just have selective hearing. We thought marc’s dad was pretty much deaf for years, until marc once whispered something to me in a crowded restaurant about the waitress. I could barely hear him, but his dad had no problem and exclaimed the comment across the table at the top of his lungs.

    As for the yelling, well that is a different story. Being from NY, i think I scream everything. I once was in the car with marc’s cousin and his wife,and we were just chatting. Marc had to pull over because we were all screaming so loud. Not one of us had any idea what he was talking about…

    1. It’s so true! They will deny it! I wonder if my children will be in the same boat with me when I am older?

      My Mom loves the kitchen and takes it over every chance she gets. So, it could be selective hearing. Don’t even get me started on Biscuit Gate 2011…My Mom does the same thing she seems to tune in at the things she’s not suppose to hear πŸ˜‰

      LOL! That’s really funny! Poor Marc!

  5. I’m going to be the devil’s advocate here and tell you that as a hearing impaired individual myself, hearing aids are not a magical fix. So while they will help her greatly in some things, they will not necessarily solve it all. If she remains adamant to not get them, you can do a few things yourself to make conversing much easier. Look at her when you’re talking. Don’t contort your mouth to over-enunciate your words. That makes you look ridiculous and it doesn’t help her one bit. Yelling makes the hearing impaired think that YOU think we’re stupid. Deaf is not stupid. It’s an invisible challenge. It’s also largely viewed as a challenge the elderly face when they are breaking down and getting ready to leave this world. That’s scary as hell for them. (I started losing mine in high school, so you can imagine how I struggled with the idea that I was going deaf and what that would mean for me.)

    The best thing you can do is to make your mouth visible when you speak, making sure that you are not standing in front of a lamp so your face is in shadow. Speak normally. Don’t yell. If there is a word that she’s just not picking up through context, change the word. You’re a writer. You know lots of them. πŸ˜‰

    Sometimes the sound is too jumbled in its transmission from the cochlea to the brain that it might sound like complete nonsense to her. She probably thought you were saying you were going to make the slauce or the snauce. So you see, it’s quite possible that she thought YOU had the problem…hitting the slauce…or the snauce. Heh heh.

    BE PATIENT. Hearing loss is frightening for ANYONE, let alone those who are not long for this world.

    I wrote this a short while ago discussing my thoughts on it:

  6. Whenever my grandmother comes to my mom’s house, she always says, “What can I do to help? Except for getting out of the kitchen.”

    My dad just got a hearing aid. He said he got it because although he was trouble hearing other people, mostly he has trouble hearing me, and I’m his favorite (only) daughter. So he figured it out on his own.

  7. We informed my dad that to get his attention, we were going to thwack him in the back of his head until such time that he obtained a hearing aid.

    To date, he’s getting smacked around quite a bit…

  8. After telling my father directly that he ought to get one (to no avail), I’ve stopped adjusting my volume for him. It is my hope that the loss of my scintillating conversation will be enough to motivate him.

  9. My in-laws, who move to our city for the winter, often stay over on weekends. When we yell at them to turn down the TV volume, their response is, “Speak up. Can’t hear you over the television.” Offers to buy them hearing assist devices just for our home have been scoffed at. Maybe we should take away our Lexus we loan them every winter until they comply?

    1. If you ever need anyone to take a Lexus off your hand while they visit! I would gladly be of service πŸ˜‰ I think they will definitely comply if you take away their wheels! Those unruly teenagers πŸ˜‰

  10. I have been out of the reading loop for a few days but wanted to respond. Get a pretty spiral notebook and write a flattering comment and hand it to her with a pen. writing little comments will make it feel like you two are sharing something special.
    I did this with my daughter when conversations were hard because of the teenage years. we filled several spirals and i still have them to look back over.

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