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If I Were a Cave Woman

[Nelle Writes is honing her craft as she toils away late nights on writing the perfect novel. She takes time away to share thoughts and snippets of her life on her stimulating blog posts. Nelle asks, “Can you share how your world would look if it were recreated in a Flintstone environment?”]

One of my only memories of the Flintstone’s is the sound of Fred hollering Wilma! If my husband felt the need to scream my name with such authority I would club him over the head, drag him over the mountain, and feed him to the mountain lion.  Afterall, he would be Neanderthal and wouldn’t know any better! 

If I were a cave woman I would not be living the Flintstone dream with the stone house, the rubble mobile, and all of the fine dining. I would not be so civilized or patient as Wilma.

I envision I would have a temperamental disposition,  a strange odor about me, scraggly hair, and a club for good measure.

My home would be the dirt floor of a cave with only a small fire to keep us warm. I would feed my children berries, leaves, and roots. The only comfort of the evening would be the kill of the day to fill our carnivorous bodies with nourishment.

I wouldn’t be thinking of the common woes of looking up at the glass ceiling, the rat race, and contemplating the next best diet late into the evening. I would be on the diet of survival and test of will to live until the next day.

My job would be to fend for myself and raise my feral children to use their brains when escaping the perils of the animal kingdom.  The comfort and security of home would be not even a memory. It would cease to exist. We would be the starting point of our evolution and defying the odds of natural selection.

The only difference in my cave world is I am equal to the man and am a necessity to his survival. It is my  ability to build fire, nurture our children, and work with other women to create an organized tribal society. The only question I ask as a cave woman looking into the future, Where and when did we lose our equality?

Do you have the answer?

Categories: Cave Woman Flintstones

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Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook

45 replies

  1. Men and women need each other. They compliment each other. One has what the other lacks. That is the way it was in the beginning. Women respected men for their protection and hard labor, for bringing the food home. Men still fill these roles, for the most part. Men respected women for making the home a haven for him and her, and their children. The woman made the man’s job worth doing, and his life worth living. I think we lost our equality when we stepped outside of what we do best, and began to desire to fill the roles that men do best. Men stopped appreciating women because they were competing with them, and because their home lives became a wreck. Now there was no one to make life worth living anymore. Men can’t do it themselves because they aren’t very good at nurturing. Men resent women for jumping off the home-maker’s wagon because now the job isn’t getting done at all – at least not as well as it once was. Superwomen types try to do it all, but we shouldn’t ask so much of ourselves. It leads to burnout and resentment because they begin to believe that the men aren’t doing enough. I know my opinion won’t be popular, but that’s just how I see things.

    1. The great thing about the feminist movement is that it has given us the right to chose to either work or stay at home. We have options available to us that our mothers wouldn’t have dreamed of in the fifties.

      I think we all choose different roads and have to support each other. I am far from being a good homemaker (I even have dust bunnies lurking under the sofa). However, if my husband was looking for the perfect Martha Stewart goddess he was sadly mistaken…

      I think a good relationship is built on teamwork, trust, and understanding. It is the ability to look toward the future with your own goals and support each other as a team. If I mold myself to my husband and what he wants in the end only creates bitterness and havoc within the home.

      I think that is the greatest thing about the movement is that it opened doors for women to decide what they want, how they want to live, and not live by another individuals standards.

      1. One of the biggest problems, I think, is that while some women choose to work outside the home, there is no one filling the gap in the home. Men don’t lobby for the right to be stay-at-home dads. I know that some men are noble in this aspect, and they will help pick up the slack, but I just don’t see that men in general will ever be able to or even want to do what they see as “women’s work.” That leaves well-meaning wives and mothers at a loss for how to get it all done. My sister struggles with this daily. Her husband demands that she work outside the home to make ends meet, but he expects her to do all of the housework as well. She is pregnant now, and I can only imagine what he will expect of her once the baby gets here.

      2. I have to disagree with you – I know several stay at home dads who wives are the bread winners of the family. They seem content to be home raising their children and having supper ready for their families at night. I think the struggle for most women is the high standards expected of us to be perfect mothers and housewives. It’s that standard which leaves us bitter when we let go of ourselves and beginning to live our life for others.

        I think your sister needs to look at the relationship and decide where it is going. If he his of no help to her now then what help would he be to her when the baby arrives? If they are both equals then he should be there to lend a hand, support, and work with her as a team. If he fails to do this then perhaps she needs to evaluate wanting to be married to a man who does not respect or value who she is…

      3. I know there are some men out there who fill the role nicely. I don’t know of any personally, but I’ve heard of their existence 🙂
        I just think it is the exception to the rule.

      4. Men will surprise you if you give them a chance! And many of them love to spend time with their kids and cringe at the song “The Cat’s in the Cradle.” We all try to live our best lives at that is the best example for our children.

      5. It’s fine that you disagree. When I made my initial comment, I figured that my opinion would be in the minority, anyway. I just thought I’d throw it out there anyway, for a little variety. I didn’t set out with the intention to change anyone’s mind. I think someone would have to be pretty unsettled in their viewpoints to do something like that. I just thought you all might want to see a different perspective.
        It makes things interesting, ya know, to see them in a different light once in a while. I know it’s good for me to see things from a feminist viewpoint, especially being able to discuss them rationally with level-headed people. It helps me understand and tolerate others, when I can see that they have actually thought their opinions through instead of just believing what they have been taught. I’m glad that you all seem to have the same kind of respect for me that I do for you, even though I’m obviously the odd one out. Being the only one to hold this viewpoint does, I admit, make me a little uncomfortable, but I appreciate the decency with which you and your readers have argued your position.
        You certainly know how to get your readers talking! Happy blogging!

      6. Thank you for taking your time to share a different perspective. If we all lived in a cookie cutter world the world would be a very boring place! I appreciate your time, thoughts, and opinions. It’s funny we all may disagree but that is what makes us human!

    2. Men would be great at nurturing if our society allowed them to be. There is no genetic reason for them not to do so.

      As to to what we (women) do best, I happen to do best as a loving spouse and a physician. If a man can’t handle that, his cojones are indeed much smaller than my ovaries, and his parents raised him poorly.

      Your opinion is certainly your own, but I think it does contribute to the limitation of both men and women’s roles in society and the nurturing of our children to be all that they can.

      1. I agree Jan! You also just made me laugh out loud!

        I believe there is no reason why men would not be able to nurture and enjoy their time spent with their children.

        My husband loves his guy time with our kids and is happy to help around the house. However, I do confess we are both a bit messy 🙂

    1. Maybe we never had it?

      Women in Canada only gained the right to vote in 1919. We have had made significant head way since then…But we still have the glass ceiling to look up at, the old boys club to contend with, judged by our looks and not just our brains.

      On an international scale if we look at Yemen women are finally braving the streets to burn their veils and take a stance against their own oppressive regime. I think we still have a long way to go…

      1. When you point out a place like Yemen, I have to agree…. It is horrible what those ladies have to go through… but maybe when it comes to daily life I am a little naive. I really don’t see that there is a major inequality… I work in a VERY male dominated industry, yet, in my company, all the main leadership roles are filled by women. I also personally know a lot of women who made it far up the corporate chain…. and were judged by their talents not their brains…. Unfortunately, I guess, after I started typing, I did realize that when the men don’t like what we decide or how we handle a tough situation, they don’t refer to us as strong, just as a bitch… so, maybe you are right… Sigh… I need more coffee!

      2. It sounds like you work in a very progressive company and I think we are slowly making headway. Why do some men get away with name calling when the don’t like a specific decision? Would they do it if they had a male employer? I don’t know. I think I need another cup of coffee too!

      3. Chuckles… I don’t think progressive has anything to do with it… It is more like the girls put the boys to shame, which they don’t like, which then causes the names… Oh man… I think now I had too much coffee!

  2. I doubt we were all that equal in the beginning. Given that biology would have determined much, men’s superior physical strength would have given them an immediate edge–they’d take what they wanted. Moreover, pregnant women in such a state would be that much more dependent on men. I doubt that caveman thought much of his cave haven, unless we’re talking about the basest of things–a place to eat the dead meat and a place to have sex with the alive meat. (Oh. I am opinionated today…)

    1. You may be opinionated (aren’t we all), but your last statement was still good for a laugh! However, I think your reference to “the beginning” and my reference may be coming from two completely different worldviews. I would like to believe that men and women have loved each other for all this time. Or at least, desired to be in a loving relationship. Each looking out for the good of the other, that sort of thing.

  3. It’s a hell of a question (yours, not mine.) Did we, as you hint at with your story, nurture humanity into societal existence by giving of ourselves, and in the process, plant the seeds of our own subordination?

    Perhaps we had to feed egos, ie… praise the mighty mastodon hunter so the big lug would feel like going out and spearing another one, and so started believing his own chiselled press?

    I would throw a wild guess into the speculation hat, suggesting that as focus shifted toward an agricultural model, there was more time to duke it out with the next village and compete for what they had, and societies organised around the big toughs who were best at Cavepeople Risk. The introduction of glory doomed us.

  4. The Iroquois Indians were the closes to having a matriarchal society of anybody, but it was not totally matriarchal. Women in that society (Native American tribe) had the most power of any organized society. I only know this because I checked on this very subject and wrote on it once.

    1. That is a very interesting piece of information – were they considered healers? Or tribal councils? I know the Iroquois were great warriors – did the women also go into battle? You have piqued my interest would you mind elaborating a little more 🙂

      1. One of the main things that Iroquois women controlled was choosing the chiefs of clans and removing them if they didn’t properly fulfill their jobs. Women voted to decide which men were in the Great Council but could not run themselves. The Iroquois women could start and stop wars. If someone said things that clashed with the Women’s Council, they could replace them. If the men wanted to go on a journey that the women did not approve, they would refuse to give them food and supplies.

        All of the lineage of the Iroquois tribe went back to one woman and the family name passed through the women’s family. Women had the rights to the land they farmed and each clan divided their land plots among the women. Women owned all the normal things of everyday life such as blankets, cooking utensils, farming tools, and so on. All that the men owned were their clothes, weapons, and personal things.

        Women had many important jobs in the Iroquois tribe such
        as planting and harvesting the crops, collecting wild nuts and berries, making clothes, clay pots and baskets, taking care of the homes and the children. And of one of the most important jobs was being a Clan Mother. The Clan Mother was the oldest and/or most respected woman and had all the power over the clan. The Clan Mother could choose and remove the Chief of the clan who was called a “Sachem”. The women worked well together and men and women worked well in cooperation together too.

      2. Thank you for taking the time to share this! I’m surprised we never learned any of this in our Canadian history classes! It’s amazing how these women were able to work together as a collective force and work for the common good of their society. Are the able to maintain this power in the first nations?

  5. Imagine if women controlled the world’s governments. Think we would offer our children to wars for oil and slaughter other mothers’ kids for inane political clout? No.

    Men, and women who support the mythical male ego, have helped ruin parts of civilization. We are all at fault. Why all women do not fight to regain social and financial equality (75% pay for same job…) is beyond me.

    End of rant.

    /signed woman in a traditional male career with a happy home life

  6. Honestly, I think we never had equality. However, if there was the faint chance we did at some point, I think we lost it when we started believing our physicality was more important than our intellectual level. We lost it every time we chose to stand by our man even though he was a cheating lout and we lost it, every time we apologized for being smarter, having a better income or a bigger hippocampus. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post!

    1. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your comments Bella!

      As women we have been raised to be polite and be apologetic for who are as women. I think this takes change and as mothers we need to raise our children to own who they are and embrace it!

  7. Wow! What a conversation! I don’t think we were ever truly equal. Men and women have always brought different contributions to the table – arguably even in jobs traditionally held by men, women’s more intuitive leadership style leads to inherent revisions in the way the project is managed. Part of the problem, I think, is that we have so many definitions of “equal” and so many damaging images of what “equality” looks like. (Corporate SuperMom, anyone?) Are women like me, who left the executive desks to stay at home with their children, undermining years of feminism? I don’t think so. If we define “equality” as “freedom to choose”, I think North America is almost there. The next step, and the more difficult one, is to build the confidence in all women to be their authentic selves. Our culture of being who we’re supposed to be is so much more damaging than an unequal division of economic power. End rant 😉

    1. It has been a great conversation and I’m very happy that you have taken the time to join in to share your thoughts!

      I think the next step is teaching women to accept our authentic selves. It can be determinant when we attempt to define ourselves through the stereotypical roles of a who and what a woman should be. It’s when we begin to judge each other that sometimes we take a step back from reaching our goals in society.

      I think we making significant gains but it would be nice to see more women pro-active on a political level.

  8. In Sweden equality is abundant. Men receive paternal leave so that they could spend time with their newborns. I often see father’s running around the city with two kids, a diaper bag, and a stroller. I love it, and I wish images like that were more common.

    1. It would be wonderful to see more Dad’s lend a helping hand when the little ones are young! I have heard Sweden has one of the best social programs in the world. What is the cost of living like? Are taxes high?

      1. The sales taxes are already impeded in the cost of the item, so you don’t notice the difference because you pay one total price instead of having the added sales tax, like it is in the USA. In general I would say that the price of things is not any different than any major city, it’s expensive, but you make enough to be able to afford it. As far as employee taxes that is around 30%, but the employer also pays a tax for having you employed, which I think its around 30%. So, it is high but as an employee you get very good benefits for 30% tax. In general I think it’s a very a good system 🙂

      2. It sounds very interesting! And from these high taxes the government is able to facilitate these programs. Is their a high unemployment rate in Sweden? Or is still maintaining a very stable economy?

  9. Yea, it’s really nice to have social benefits. The downside is that there is not that many choices, for example to buy alcohol there is only one store that sells it, and if I want to see a Dr. I have to wait a few weeks before I get an appointment (unless it’s urgent). But there isn’t a very a high unemployment rate. Sweden and all the Scandinavian countries actually have very stable economies after the recession they suffered in the late 80’s and early 90’s.

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