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The Dangers of Reading in the Tub

It was when Desi Valentine tweeted ” Should you be tempted, do NOT drink CC&G’s while soaking in a hot bath with a good book. Even if they taste really good!” One of those distant memories came back and prompted me to write this…”

It was a nice Sunday afternoon I had a relaxing lunch with good friends and returned to a quiet house. I was excited to discover my husband had taken the kids to the park and I was alone in the solitude of my home.

It was one of those rare days the bathroom was clean and I could enjoy the comforts of a hot bubble bath. I ran the water, left my book on the sink counter, and hopped into the tub full of suds. It was the best two minutes of my weekend until I stood up to reach for my book.

It was with that I lost my balance on the tub and fell face first with a crash into the side of the tub. I remember the pain, things went blurry as I laid back against the porcelain, and I began to feel ill. My nose was bleeding and I knew it was time to get out of the tub.

Happy Old Bath Tub by Bruce Combs

I was dizzy and thought – Dear God, What if I faint and someone finds me naked sprawled on the bathroom floor. What would my mother think?

I did the best I could to dry off and reached for my closest set of pajamas and I called my sister to take me to the hospital.

She arrived chuckling at me  in my flannel polka dot penguin skiing pajamas loaded me and my bleeding nose into the truck.  As we drove she chuckled more and then held out her cel phone taking a picture of me – a keeper of the good memory.

As we got out of the truck at the hospital I asked “Why are those men staring at me?”

My sister chuckled, “You are wearing  penguin pajamas and you forgotten to button up your top!”

It was with that I fumbled to button my top as we entered the ER and it donned on me that I had  to explain what happened to the nurse.

“I was soaking in the tub then I got up to grab my book on the counter and fell face first on the edge of the tub.”

She gave me a questioning look…

“No. I did not have anything to drink!”

I stuttered, “I know this is something old people do! Not me!”

It was with that I took my number, sat in the ER with my penguin pajamas, high on Tylenol 3, did I mention they gave me Tylenol 3? Did I also mention that I have no tolerance for any form of medication?

My husband arrived pale as a ghost – I was oblivious that  people were looking at him then me his disheveled wife.

His voice got a little loud, “I can’t believe you broke your nose in the tub.”

I groaned, “I know!”

His voice went a little louder, “It’s terrible that you broke your nose in the tub!”

It was at that moment I caught on that people were staring at him, his disheveled wife with the two black eyes and broken nose. He was mortified that people may have thought that he had done this too me.

A couple of hours later I was in the triage room waiting for the doctor. He looked at me in my penguin pajamas all I could say was “I thought old people were the only ones who slip in the tub.”

He chuckled and said, “I hope it was a good book!”

It was after returning to the scene of the crime. I never looked at the bath tub the same and  I  always slid in slowly remembering to keep my book close  before situating my naked butt into the tub! You never know what you could break in that klutz trap!

Have you ever had an accidental calamity? What was it like to return to the scene of the incident?

Categories: Accidents Broken Nose Curse of the klutz funny Humor Life musings my life NaBloPoMo random thoughts return slipping in the bathtub thoughts

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Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook

30 replies

  1. Not nearly as funny as yours… Last year we went out to dinner with friends. They have a big Hummer. The door swings wider than all the car doors I have ever opened in my life. So I opened the door and hit myself very hard on the nose. I pretended I was okay, but I sat through dinner with a broken nose. I am now afraid of their car.

  2. Ohmygod, that’s HILARIOUS! I know it shouldn’t be – and it had to have been so painful – but that’s totally something I would do. I once tried to walk to the bathroom (ten steps from my bed!) in the wee hours in the morning without my glasses on, and walked into the side of the door with such force that I looked like I had been in a bar fight. The ladies at work promptly assumed that my then-boyfriend (now-husband!) had something to do with it, and staged an intervention at work with pamphlets and everything…. Me: “No really, I’m just that clumsy!” Them: “Let us know when you’re ready to talk.” Fun times!

  3. OK– I can identify with you in two ways… first, I too own a pair of penguin pajamas….and I too have had bath tup mishaps. Yours of course, being much more tragic than mine. I just lose my books in the bath tub… yesterday it was a magazine. I dare not take the Kindle in. Fun read. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Once, I was on a friend’s dark porch, looking through one of their windows. I had never been to the house before so I wasn’t familiar with the layout of the porch and as I mentioned, I couldn’t see a thing. As I walked along the porch looking in thr window, I stepped off of the side of thr porch and fell down a huge hole that was actually a staircase going into the basement. I fell about ten feet, landed on my back and rolled down the remaining three stairs that I landed on. Somehow, I survived. I’ve been back to thr house a few times and my friend’s family talks about the incident like I’m some kind of super hero for being able to survive that fall.

  5. I am car parking challenged. Something happens to me when I park my car in suburban parking lots. Occasionally, I get a little too close to my fellow parkers and leave a dent in their car. After this happens, I can never go back and park in the same place again. My palms get all sweaty and I’m afraid I will tap someone else’s fender.

    1. Chuckles! I’m a terrible at parking don’t even ask about the parallel parking. My trick is to park as far away from any other vehicle. My excuse to everyone for parking so far is I need to get 10,000 walking steps in 😉

  6. Well, yes….. It was in the 80s and I was old enough to know better, but good gosh. It was just a GREAT looking pogo stick. Everything was fine until I got off the sidewalk and hit the tree root. I landed on the side of my right hip.

    I still thought everything was fine, until I couldn’t get out of bed the next morning, and couldn’t walk. Finally, I dragged myself down to the car, drove myself to the ER and managed to walk in. When the admitting clerk asked what my problem was, I said, “I fell off a pogo stick”. It’s the only time in my life a hospital employee really looked at me.

    It only took five years to get things straightened out.

  7. Let’s see, there was the flame ball that shot up to the ceiling when I threw flour on a grease fire when we were newly married. That was fun. Then there was the time I ruptured my ACL playing softball at church – I’d joined the
    Team to make new friends. The last thing I remember before my operation was seeing some guy in a surgical gown, hat, and mask and I said “well HELLO blue eyes” turns out it was my surgeon. They iesiately gassed me at that point.

    1. Yikes! I have never had flame balls hitting the ceiling just pureed soup!

      Ouch! Softball is a dangerous sport! It gave me a black eye once but there was no blue eyes in a surgical mask. I wonder is it possible that bloggers have a tendency to be clumsy?

  8. You do have crazy things happen… but then so do I. Somewhere around age ten, I stepped out of the tub, slipped on the floor, and as I dropped, my left foot caught the corner of a wall, sending my little toe off on a 45° left angle. My parents came running, so too my older sister, who, upon spotting my toe, burst into tears – whilst I laughed.

    I didn’t laugh very loudly when the doc reset that little miscreant toe. In fact, the snap was louder than my oww.

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