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The Green Swamp Monster and Poolside Beauties

I couldn’t have been more thrilled when my husband proposed a Vegas getaway! I have a love for the Vegas poolside attractions and the endless people watching possibilities.  I packed my favorite poolside attire and was game for a fun trip!

The moment we arrived I slipped on my shiny green halter swimsuit and we headed straight for the pool.  I kicked up my feet and rested on a lounge chair ready to dive into my James Patterson Novel.  I looked up to take a sip of my passion punch,  and  that was when two gorgeous young Victoria Secret models plopped in the lounge chairs beside me.

I felt slightly envious of their itsy bitsy bikinis and more envious when they ordered deep-fried chicken fingers. It was too much to stand as I thought of my spinach salad and bottled water I had for lunch. If only I could eat like that...My cheeks turned green the envious sea monster began to lurk under my skin.

I looked over to Mr. MBA with his back to the sun, slowly beginning to snore, and burn in the sun. I took another sip of my passion punch. As another young beauty passed us glancing up and down first at Mr. MBA, then me with a guilty look.

You know the one where you realize you didn’t make the cheering squad.

She sauntered over to the models with her clipboard, “Would you like to be on our guest list at our club this evening?”

My neurotic brain went into overdrive – how come she didn’t ask me? Of course I never would have went! But it would have been nice to be asked…

It was at that moment my brain clicked to the scene from Knocked Up. It’s  when the doorman refuses to let the girls in the club and says “It’s not cause you’re not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can’t let you in cause you’re old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.”

Those three little words old as fuck passed through my head but in my mind Vegas is place of illusion, a mirage of beauty, and attempts to mask the ugly that is behind the glittery lights. I might be in my mid-thirties but I can still rock it!

Age is a state of mind and a symbol of beauty. Perhaps, I never will ever have my pre-baby body or perfect legs. But I still have my groove and I can do that in my kitchen any day of the week. No guest list required..

As I took another sip of my passion punch I looked over at Mr.MBA snoring in the sun, his fuzzy belly glistening with sweat, and his skin boiling to the point of lobster red. I thought to myself it couldn’t have possibly been me she passed-up. It must be the lovable company I keep and I wouldn’t trade that for any day of the week.

Have you ever had any poolside moments? Do you think the link between beauty and age will ever change in our society?

Categories: beauty bikini babes fun funny guest list Humor las vegas las vegas vacation Life media and beauty motherhood musings my life nightclubs personal life poolside attraction random thoughts summer getaway summer style swim wear The Encore thoughts travel unrealistic beauty standards vacation vegas poolside attraction what is beauty

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Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook

24 replies

  1. I’m short…and while petite, not super slim…so I have these moments OFTEN. The only way for me to love myself in these types of situations is to love the hot girls. Yup. I feel love and kindness for the super hotties, and then I feel as much love and kindness for myself. It helps me realize that comparison is ultimately a pointless time waster.

    …Although I would enjoy chicken fingers every day of the week…

    1. The comparison is an ultimate time waster! It’s more relaxing to sip on a passion punch and enjoy a good book. Plus, their is always fun people watching poolside 😉

      I think we are more hard on ourselves then others and it is important to give ourselves a break 🙂 I’m actually thinking chicken fingers might be nice for lunch since I don’t have to wear a bathing suit anytime soon 🙂

  2. I love your take on the moment too… Oh, poor mr. mba! I don’t think the link between beauty and age will ever change, sadly. But, fortunately, in my case, I married someone 13 years older than me (who is the youngest in his family and many of his friends). So, at least when we socialize I still feel young, no matter how old I get. (well, that is until I look in the mirror and realize I am beyond overdue for a hair color – it is invasion of the grays…)

    1. Thanks! Marc is lucky to have such a young hottie 😉 I don’t think it will change but we can’t let it hold us back from the things we love.Besides I prefer a nice expensive meal to a night of booming and we ate at some wonderful restaurants! Maybe I am maturing…

  3. I loved this, and your amusing reflections on your husband sun bathing. Never mind the models or the invites. You’ve got your humour, husband and a nice vacation. Does’nt sound to bad to me. Mind you the chicken fingers caused a flicker of jealousy. I could always enjoy a basket of those, as long as there were no mirrors to help the guilt trip kick in

    1. Hahaha! Thanks! Luckily, he wasn’t wearing a speedo ;O We had a fabulous vacation and I’m still jealous over the deep-fried goodness of chicken fingers….Now if only they didn’t expand the muffin-top. I think someone needs to make a pill for that…

  4. I kinda got depressed with your post. Its true and its a hard pill to swallow but you’re right.
    In essence, this is life and sooner or later, those “models” will eventually becomes married aand mothers and one day they will be sitting on that lounge chair watching the next younger girls take what was once her place.
    I think I am having a hard time with getting older. But everyone must breathe until their dying breath.
    P.S. I think I intimadated by Vegas

    1. I love this point! It’s very true! But I think as we get older we get wiser. I’m having more fun now then I ever did in my twenties. I’m still jealous about the chicken fingers…Vegas can be intimidating but it can also be fun 😉

  5. You could always turn it into a story where you were passed over because you were so obviously too intelligent to fall for the nefarious scheme that the clueless models were sucked into the midst of….

  6. Everyone is going to Vegas except for me. POUT.

    I remember that scene in Knocked Up.

    Take me with you next time, and we can eat spinach salad together and poke fun at everyone else.

  7. People are goofy. It’s all about the show, eh? I prefer to keep it real, and would be aghast to be someone’s party exhibit, there in a mutual ogling contest where being shallow rules.

    They’ve got not a thing on you, and I think you know it.

  8. Carol took my words. I LOVED this post too! And I have NEVER believed that ANY link exists between beauty and age. If someone fails to recognise what or who is beautiful, I pity his/her maturity!

  9. Your husband had the right idea! I love that green monster of envy comment. I was never captain of the cheerleading squad nor do I look so hot in a bikini (they did mistake me for Shamu once at Seaworld) but me….I’m not envious! Um, can you pass the chicken fingers? I break out if I eat spinach.

  10. I wish there was a pool in my life to have a moment…lol
    Your words, “Age is a state of mind and a symbol of beauty…” says a lot. I have found the ones that live life to the fullest, seek ways to improve their minds, health and attitudes (and not dwell on how old they are) usually appear youthful and their beauty comes out from within.
    Thanks! 🙂

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