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No Excuses

The holiday season has been thrust upon us whether we were ready or not! And many of us are thwarted with the duty of attending the annual Holiday parties and festivities. It’s one of those things I dread, the schmoozing, the small talk, and the awkward pauses in conversations.

Some people have the cocktail party down to an art form. I envy the way they can glide across the room, smile, have the art of conversation down to a science, and fail from teetering over in their heels. I’m not so fortunate, I ask a lot of questions, to  deviate from the dreaded question of what do you do, and hide at the buffet table any chance I get!

However, this last weekend something changed, I met a spitfire of a lady, she was intelligent, smart, and funny. The first question she asked me was, “What do you do?”

I took a breath, “I stay home with the kids. You know when we moved here it was just hard to find child care, and we decided it was best for everyone that I stay home.”

She looked at me, ” Don’t make excuses! Your stay at home mom and there is nothing wrong with that!”

I thought to myself maybe I was making excuses for myself. I blushed and said “You are right!”

She confided, “I was a stay at home mom for years. It was great! I loved every minute of it! And I see the investment I’ve made in my children everyday. Work comes and it goes. But your children are always there!”

I looked at her, “You are right! And I love being home with the kids. It’s a really fun age and we get to do so much together.”

“That’s the important thing! Don’t feel guilty that your stay at home mom. Enjoy it!”

It was after, I had this conversation with this spirited individual, I realized she was right. I was making excuses, but why? Is it the way some people cringe when you tell them your stay at home mom? Or perhaps, the look of judgement that comes across their face?  It’s all of those cues I look for in people when I tell them I’m a stay at home mom.

 At that moment I decided to take this woman’s advice and I no longer make excuses for myself. Now,  every time someone asked me the dreaded question of – what do you do?

I respond on cue with  “I’m a stay at home Mom! And I love it!”

I’ve noticed when I say this to  the new people I’ve been meeting  that  some people smile with relief, because they are too, some people tense up, possibly judging me, and others just don’t care.

I’ve also decided if you don’t like my response suck it! It’s my life, it’s my choice, and I love my life!  At some point, I will go back to work but just not now.

I love being with my kids, watching them grow, and I want to be there every step of the way. They are an important investment  and I plan to invest every piece of my heart into their bright futures.

Categories: feminism fun funny Humor Life motherhood musings my life parenting random thoughts Relationship's stay at home thoughts

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Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook

8 replies

  1. I love it! I agree with the lady… you are a stay at home mom, and you should be proud of it! I think that most women, while they may not admit it, are jealous that they can’t do what you do – experience everything with their kids- and feel that instead, they are missing out on something. I also think that most people just want to judge and make you feel bad about yourself. Marc and I don’t have kids, and aren’t planning on having any either. I can’t tell you how many times near strangers judged our decision and acted like we were from another planet, because our view for our lives different from what they viewed life should be.

    1. The best we can do is live ours lives. And if we’re living it to make other people happy than what good is it? Two of my closest friends have opted out from having children because they love their freedom and life. I would never judge them for it!

      I think everyone is different and what works for some people doesn’t work for others. The great thing about our lives, is we all have choices, and wouldn’t it be great if we could support each other in our choices instead of judging?

      1. If only… the world would be such a better place. What kills me the most is when the person judging you doesn’t even know you…. One of my neighbor’s girlfriends was once grilling me on why we didn’t have kids, and I made the fatal mistake on saying we weren’t planning on it… Man, she went on and on about how crazy and wrong I was. Like knowing me 15 minutes she could predict my life or validate my choices.

      2. WoW! That would have been a pretty awful experince. I think I would of lost my patience and ended the conversation with a very snide remark. I couldn’t imagine dealing with that…I know my friends grimace whenever they hear the words “biological clock.”

        Next time, someone gives you a hard time, just remind them about all of the great things in your life….Quiet time at the coffee shop, romantic trips for two, reading a book undisturbed for hours, etc. Actually, I’m getting jealous just thinking about it 🙂

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