I just finished speaking with a dear friend about her life , relationship with her man boy, and wanting children. It left me pondering my own thirty something wasteland. My friends and I all graduated from university, we all had plans, but none of us have turned out to be expecting to be what we are in our thirties. Our lives are definitely not what we planned. Out of all of us – my Plans faltered the earliest with a gasp of a pregnancy test and a blink of an eye. I became a married mother by the time I was twenty-four. It was not the glamorize law track that I was expecting in life.
It was at this time I was envious of my friends devil-may-care attitude and the freedom they were able to experience from nightlife to expensive fashion tastes. I on the other hand was bogged down in diapers, Baby Einstein, and organic baby food. But now, I see my friends, and they are all stuck. They are at a stage in their lives were they want stability, children, and a different life. All are slowly working towards it. It’s as I watch their struggles from a far…I breathe a slight sigh of relief.
I have travelled the globe in my early twenties, had kids by my mid-twenties, and grudgingly moved to the suburbs by the time I was thirty. It’s great to think by the time I’m forty-two I will be sending my oldest to University. But now I’m beginning to think what about me? As both of my children will be in school full-time next year – I will have more freedom. I wonder do I stay home, complete my masters, or find a job to put me on the career track?
It’s all of these questions which are beginning to nag me as I did everything backwards from everyone else. I know I’ve made the right decision by staying home with my two boys to ensure they have a great childhood. I’m proud of this accomplishment. But I also know what my friends have accomplished in their twenties and thirties in their fast paced career tracks. I have alot of work to play catch-up.
I’m ready to start that next phase but the scary question is when? And what folly will I create next? I still don’t have the answers and am waiting for a lighting bolt to hit me for inspiration. Okay! Lighting! Hurry- up and strike! I’m waiting!
Darcie Cameron is a RYT 200 who believes Yoga is a gift that is accessible to everyone with proper modifications, a patient smile and just taking the time to breathe. One of the greatest presents you will ever unwrap is when you connect your mind, body and spirit in perfect sync with your own breath. Connect with Darcie on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/darciecameronlovesyoga