Tammy Cooper is just like me; she lives on a quiet cul-de-sac and she lets her children ride their scooters along the neighborhood street. The only difference between this Mom and me is she was arrested for allowing her kids, ages six and nine, to play outside watching from “only a few feet away.”
Come over and join the conversation at BlogHer. Do you believe Tammy Cooper’s arrest was warranted?
In grade three I discovered that having creative thought was not allowed in Sunday School. My teacher handed us the coloring pages of Jesus and I took that as the cue to let my creativity run wild. It was with gusto I had colored Jesus’s skin green and his hair purple.
The catechism teacher was livid of my creative interpretation of Jesus.
My only defense was “Well! We don’t really know what he looks like. So it is possible he could be green!?”
I was sent home to my parents who gave me another stern lecture and banished me to my room for the night. It all seemed a little extreme from the eyes of a nine-year old especially when no one had ever seen him!
My littlest in Grade 2 is having a phenomenal year in school and has been keeping a visual journal. His teacher has been very instrumental in letting children’s creativity shine through in her classroom.
He is very pleased with his creations and couldn’t wait to share his finished project with me. I smiled as I leafed through the book because they were not your typical rainbows and flowers.
Instead :
Eyes Watching You
Brain Eating Zombies
And Stinky Feet
They show a little man with a wild imagination and a good sense of humor. And if he ever colored Jesus green I don’t think it would be that big of a deal. At the end of the day I pretty sure the big guy in the sky likes a child with a creative eye.
What did you like to draw and color when you were a child? Did you ever get in trouble for your depictions?
We all run into that one person who has seen us a thousand times before but yet they seem to forget who we are depending on how we look or smell that day. It is at that point I hear the circus music my brain filters on double duty in attempt to prevent the ass in the box from popping up. I always have one thought that lingers in the back of my head as I pass by their glorious air of distinction.
If you could customize your very own Ass in the Box what gaseous fumes would be emitted to that very special person?
My Mom is a force to be reckoned with and she will be the first tell you exactly what you don’t want to hear at the most inappropriate time. Especially if you live in a Pollyanna bubble like me! But that is life!
We have had our differences in the past like most mother and daughters. It was my obnoxious teen years that tested her limits. And I know for a fact that I have pressed many buttons, as soon as the drawer opened, the spoon came out, I would make a mad dash for the door!
I think spoon haunts me til this very day!
My Mom also has another side that I don’t talk about enough. It is the side that when you are in need she is there with a phone call, she knows when to help when the chips are down, and she will always be there for you.
I remember as a young girl coming back from the grocery store with her in her stealthy grey Station wagon.
A lone man swaggered along the sidewalk.
My Mom slowly drove by him very slowly, gave him the stink eye, then shook her finger at him exclaiming, “I’m watching you!”
She sighed and looked to me, “That bastard beats his wife. I can’t stand him! If he was married to me he would be dead! No questions asked.”
My young eyes looked at her in disbelief but I knew she was telling the truth. Nobody would ever mess with my Mom!
If there is one thing my Mom is she is a fighter, she has gumption, and she always looks out for her friends. The one thing she taught us is to stand-up for ourselves and take no prisoners when duty calls us too.
Family sticks together through thick and thin!
I might crack the occasional menopausal joke her way or test her limits for old times sakes. But as her daughter it is my duty to test those limits!
I wonder if she will like her gift Fifty Shades of Grey….
What do you love about your Mother? How will you be celebrating this Mother’s Day?
The beautiful weather in Sedona made for some lovely evening swims.
One particular evening there were many retirees lounging by the pool enjoying the lovely weather.
My littlest being observant of the older age demographic got a special twinkle in his eye as he walked through the pool gate.
He stood over the edge of the pool where everyone could see him and exclaimed, “Hey everybody! It looks like we arrived just in time for Senior Swim! Lets hop in!”
It was with that he did a cannon-ball into the pool making a very big splash!
My face turned sweltering-red as I turned to look for a lounge chair to crawl under and pretend it wasn’t my child.
Do your family members say the darndest things at the most inappropriate times?
It was a couple of hours after I wrote Homework and the Elusive Flu Bug that the scene from the exorcist was replayed across my bathroom floor with my youngest son. It was at that moment I felt I had enough of puke for a century as I scrubbed the night away. 
It was after I was done cleaning and fully recovered from the poisonous fumes that I went to check in on my little man, “Honey, you look as pale as a ghost!”
He looked at me “I do!”
“Yes! You do!”
It is with that he lifted both of hands to examine them carefully for several minutes. He then looked up at me and sighed, “Mom! I think you are crazy! I can still see my hands and I definitely do not look like a ghost!”
Have you ever taken someone’s words literally? Did it end with humorous results?
My son sat at the kitchen table as he worked through his mountain of homework. He looked up at me and said, “Mom I don’t feel so well!”
I walked over and felt his forehead, “You don’t feel warm just finish up the last three questions and we will do the rest of the morning.”
He sighed, “Fine! But my stomach really hurts.” 
It was with a sigh, I gave him a stern look, and made him complete the project. He gave me his puppy eyes and I thought to myself “I am not caving in this time.”
It was an hour later when I heard it, the noise every parent hates to hear, the gag, the cough, the sound of projectile vomit hitting the walls, and carpeted floor!
I took a deep breath, entering the room of vomit, he looked up at me “See I told you I was sick!”
It was as I waded up to me knees in vomit and fighting the urge to lose my own cookies that I vowed to never be skeptical of the words “Mom! I feel sick!”
If I had only paid attention to those simple words – it would have saved me from a three-hour scrub-out from hell!
Have you ever experienced the scrub-out from hell? Did you keep your cookies?
It was just the other day my children and I attempted to use the crosswalk. One very courteous driver stopped to let us pass but as we got to the middle of the lane, another oncoming driver sped past us, texting, not looking up, and almost ran the three of us down. 
It was that moment my ears burned red and I was angry! I did what any rational person would do – I flipped the jackass the bird!
My son looked at me giggled and said “I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that!”
I gave him a smile “That is very wise of you.”
I know it is not my best parenting moment nor was I teaching my children about the importance of tolerance and patience. It was at that moment I suffered from a rare form of pedestrian rage.
It is in these instances when drivers have little or no regard for people walking across the street and fail to recognize that they almost ran over your children. It is at these instances I see black, my arm lifts up in the obvious motion whereas I automatically give that driver the universal hand gesture of the finger.
It’s moment like this I need to take a moment and reflect on my actions. I take a deep breath, get over it, and realize there are times in life when some people deserve to be flipped the bird! It’s one of those life lessons that we never want to teach our children but sometimes that middle finger just gets the better of us.
Have you ever flipped the bird?
[A Midsummer Dream and Winter's Tale is my favorite sister, a comedian, and the last of the One Questions. She offers philosophical thought always seeking the truth, the beauty, and the good. Jane asks, " If you can teach your children one thing about life what would it be?" Only one thing....Phew!]
It’s when times are hard, the wind has been sucked from your soul, you need one person you can always turn to for the good and the bad. It would be my sister Jane she is a true kindred spirit. We both laugh at the same jokes and I know I can rely on her for solid advice. 
I want my sons to have the same bond and relationship as they grow older. I want them to understand that you can always rely on family through the good times and the bad.
It is as they grow into young adults it will be inevitable that they will face many paths on their journey. Some of those roads will be the same ones that I once traveled along.
It is at times I confess I did not always choose the right path. I stumbled many times falling on my face. However, my obstinacy made me determined to wipe the dust off my jeans and keep moving forward with grim determination.
It’s those reckless roads I want my children to avoid traveling along. I hope to give them the necessary tools to make wise choices in their own lives. Also to recognize when they fail to make the right choice – they will stumble, they will need to learn to pick themselves up, and select a golden path where the sun embraces them with warmth.
I want them to live their best life maintaining their youthful spirits and warm hearts. I also want them to know as their Mother I will always be there for them with my arms wide open and my ears ready to listen to the heaviness that may lay on their minds.
What was one lesson you learned from your parents?
[Paprika Furstenburg of Good Humored dashes up her blog with a good dose of wit! She has made me chuckle going where no woman has gone before in the bathroom. Also a known fact all walks of life find her very attractive especially mosquitoes and a wide variety of bugs. She asks "What is the most disastrous meal you have ever cooked?"]
A sleep deprived mother with a husband travelling on the road is a lot to muster with a two-year old and infant in the cold winter months. It was one evening I was excited to have him return home to our little love nest. As the two-year old napped and the littlest happily rocked in the swing. I attempted my husbands favorite Cream of Leek Soup with Parmesan Potato Dumplings.It was one my culinary masterpieces that I loved to create on a cold day. 
It was in the afternoon as my two-year old napped I sleepily chopped the vegetables and boiled them to perfection. It just at the right moment as I was about to puree my creation my little darling awoke from his nap. I got him settled with his toys. I then went back into my zombie state thinking I should have had the nap instead of making the dreaded soup.
But what is a girl to do? It was time to puree the leeks! I went to place them in the blender, placing the top just so, pressing the button on high, and that is when all hell broke loose! The devil had possessed my blender!
The top exploded off the blender with gusto! Chunks of leek hit the ceiling, the stove, the curtains, covering me, and the children. The blender had taken on a force within itself and was shredding its wrath across my sparkling kitchen.
I felt utterly defeated against this possessed demon and did what any reasonable women would do…I pulled the plug, sat on the floor, and wailed my little heart out. It was the tearful wail that takes over your whole soul and alerts the dead to run from your tracks. I was blinded with tears! I attempted to contain the snot from running on the floor by wiping my nose with a shirt sleeve covered in leek guts. The fight against the demon blender and willful leeks had taken the last of my energy!
It was at that moment my husband arrived home early from work to discover the leek massacres of 2003. It was to his horror to see one woman covered in gunk tears running down her face sobbing on the kitchen floor, one child running amok dragging the chunks with him as he went, and one little baby patiently waiting for someone to clean – up the mess.
The only thing of comfort my husband could say was “Honey, lets open some wine and order a pizza!”
What is one of your worst cooking disasters? Did you ever attempt to make it again?
