It’s Spewing Leeks!

[Paprika Furstenburg of Good Humored dashes up her blog with a good dose of  wit! She has made me chuckle going where no woman has gone before in the bathroom. Also  a known fact all walks of life find her very attractive especially  mosquitoes and a wide variety of bugs. She asks "What is the most disastrous meal you have ever cooked?"]

A sleep deprived mother with a husband travelling on the road is a lot to muster with a two-year old and infant in the cold winter months. It was one evening I was excited to have him return home to our little love nest. As the two-year old napped and the littlest happily rocked in the swing. I attempted my husbands favorite Cream of Leek Soup with Parmesan Potato Dumplings.It was one my culinary masterpieces that I loved to create on a cold day. 

It was in the afternoon as my two-year old  napped I sleepily chopped the vegetables and boiled them to perfection. It just at the right moment as I was about to puree my creation my little darling awoke from his nap. I got him settled with his toys.  I  then went back into my zombie state thinking I should have had the nap instead of making the dreaded soup.

But what is a girl to do? It was time to puree the leeks! I went to place them in the blender, placing the top just so, pressing the button on high, and that is when all hell broke loose! The devil had possessed my blender!

The top exploded off the blender with gusto!  Chunks of leek  hit the ceiling, the stove, the curtains, covering me, and the children. The blender had taken on a force within itself and was shredding its wrath across my sparkling kitchen.

I felt utterly defeated against this possessed demon and did what any reasonable women would do…I pulled the plug, sat on the floor,  and wailed my little heart out. It was the tearful wail that takes over your whole soul and alerts  the dead to run from your tracks.  I was blinded with tears! I attempted to contain the  snot from running on the floor by wiping my nose with a shirt sleeve covered in leek guts.  The fight against the demon blender and willful leeks had taken the last of my energy!

It was at that moment my husband arrived home early from work to discover the leek massacres  of 2003.  It was to his horror to see one woman covered in gunk tears running down her face sobbing on the kitchen floor, one child running amok dragging the chunks with him as he went, and one little baby patiently waiting for someone to clean – up the mess.

The only thing  of comfort my husband could  say was “Honey, lets open some wine and order a pizza!”

What is one of your worst cooking disasters? Did you ever attempt to make it again?

The One with the Peanut on Top

[Tilly Bud The Laughing Housewife serves up a silver lining with her daily humor. Can you believe she schedules her posts three times a day?  I wish I had that dedication! She asks "If you were only allowed to write about one thing i.e. your blog had to have just one topic, what would it be?"]

I have an addiction to Peanut Butter I love it in the morning, love in the evening, and even in the afternoon. It compliments my beverage of choice whether it  be milk, coffee, tea, wine, or beer. It offers me comfort on a dark day. And happiness on a good one. It is the one thing in my cupboard that I can depend on when there is nothing to eat. Peanut butter in a word is my true love.

My addiction came about the time I was seven! It was around the same time the ad for Squirrel Peanut Butter invaded the TV waves with the slogan the one with the peanut on top.

Everytime my mother would bring home a new container of peanut butter I had to be the first to have the peanut on top!

Sometimes my oldest sister would torment me with the fact that she had to have the peanut  “It wasn’t fair that I got it all the time.”Looking back she was fourteen and I was seven – I think she could have forgone the peanut.

My mother to keep the peace and tired of teenage hormones would scold me to ask first before taking it with the unpleasant reminder that it was very rude not to share the peanut. I would then be sent to my room to think about my perilous mistake!

Of course, how could one peanut cause such a ruckus? I’ll never know…But I do know I take comfort in a peanut butter sandwich or cookie any day over a peanut!

If there was one food you had to blog about what would it be?

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