Category Archives: raising boys

What if?

September 30, 2011 By in giving your children more freedom, letting your kids walk to school, Life, motherhood, my life, parenting, raising boys, random thoughts, thoughts, times have changed, what if Tags: , , , , , , , , , 34 Comments

My oldest son is in Grade 4 we have a two-minute walk to the elementary school. I  have been trying to give him more freedom. I wondered is it time to let him walk to school by himself? I just feel that there are so many what if’s? What if someone snatches him? What if a careless driver fails to see him crossing the street? What if there is a bully lurking in the corner? What if? What if?

It was just this past week, the morning was cold, and he had to be at school early before everyone else to work on a school project.  I took the leap and decided to give him just a little bit more freedom. I walked him across the busy street letting him walk to school alone. I turned my back and went home.

I sighed, and hurried back home to get on with the morning and organize the littlest for the first bell.

It was later in the morning the house was quiet, I was reaching for my second cup of coffee, and the phone rang. I saw the schools number on the phone and felt a heavy thud in my stomach.

“Hello”

“Hello. We are wondering where Alex is this morning?”

“He is at school.”

“No the teacher has him marked as absent.”

I felt a slight rush of panic my worst nightmare had come true and I was beginning to workout a plan in my head, “No I walked him half way to school he should be there he had an early morning project.”

“Oh! The teacher marked him as absent. She must have forgot.No worries then…”

I felt no worries! I felt a surge of  panic!What if the teacher was right? What if he was absent? What if he was abducted?

“Could you do me a favor and just make sure he is at the school? I only walked him halfway, I didn’t see him walk in, and now just want to double check that he is with the group?”

My helicopter blades were spinning like mad! I panicked thinking maybe he didn’t make it to school.The what ifs swirled in my head. I kicked myself  I should have  walked him the whole way.

The secretary returned to the phone and replied, “It’s all good! We found him! He is with the group!”

And it was with that assurance I felt a huge sigh of relief.

In this day and age there are so many what ifs! As a child I remember roaming the streets with my friends, walking home from school alone, and hanging in the trees in the woods. We weren’t supervised and we all made it out unscathed for the most part.

So what has changed?  Do you have a what if?

The Return to School

September 2, 2011 By in back to school, coddling the youngest, creative writing, family life, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, helicopter parenting, Life, motherhood, musings, my life, NaBloPoMo, parenthood, parenting, raising boys, raising kids, return Tags: , , , , , , , , 18 Comments

The breeze was cool as  I walked my two little men to school.  I was in disbelief that the summer was over and they were growing up before my very eyes. My oldest was going in grade four he ran ahead with excitement while my youngest entering grade two had straggled behind with trepidation. I balanced my stride in the middle between two the two attempting to look back and forward at the same time.

I admired how tall they grown and how independent they had become over the summer. It was this morning my oldest helped cook the eggs and my youngest tied his sneakers with pride.

It was when we arrived at school my oldest looked at me, “Mom do you have to go with me? I know where I am going?”

“But don’t you want me to meet your teacher?”

“You have met her already.”

“It’s fine. We will just  walk you to your class.”

“Please don’t Mom! Please! I ‘m a big man now. I can find it myself.”

I saw the dread in his eyes, the fear I would walk him to class, and I knew my son was on the verge of becoming a tween. It was with that I let him run to his friends and find his way to his own class. I sighed it seemed too soon that he was growing up before my very eyes.My heart melted as he went on his way and it took all of my power not to hug him in public.

I then walked my youngest to his class. It was there I walked him into the classroom, helped him find his desk, and then assisted in unpacking his school supplies.  I hovered over him until the teacher arrived and introduced herself to us. I gave him a smile as tear a welled up  in my eye and wondered would he need me next year to help with finding his class and unpacking his school supplies.

I cherish the time with my sons. They are  only young  once and one day neither of them will need me at all. It’s best to be there for them now before they grow to old and no longer want to be seen with their Mom.

Do you think parents tend to coddle the youngest more? Or is that an unfair assumption?

Call Me Old-Fashioned…

August 7, 2011 By in cel phone, family, family connections, family life, funny, Humor, Life, musings, my life, NaBloPoMo, parenthood, parenting, raising boys, raising children, random thoughts, supper time, texting, thoughts Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 27 Comments

Do you remember the days at the supper table? The phone would ring and nobody would answer it because you were eating. It didn’t matter what who was calling because it had to wait. Meal Time  was family time regardless if you were crying over meatloaf and canned peas…

We always seem to be wired no matter where we go or what we do. It has become a part of our life. But isn’t there a time when we need to take a break from the connectivity. Isn’t supper time family time?

I wondered as my husband and I went out for a nice dinner. The perfect family sat across from us their daughter sat up right with her doll. She looked immaculate and was extremely well – behaved. She would play with her doll then look up to her parents. She would then wait for one of them to speak to her..

Her parents  both uttered not a single word to her! They were both on their phones, giggling, texting not paying any attention to this young girl looking up at them for recognition or some form of conversation. The girl sat straight playing with her doll,  quietly, waiting for someone to speak…

My husband and I both looked at each other and wondered have we become old-fashioned? Dinner time is a time to connect, laugh, speak with each other. It’s about talking about the present, your day, and making plans for the future.  Supper time is the time when you get to re-connect with your family  and stay in tune with your own children’s thoughts and feelings. I guess you can call me old-fashioned but at supper time the phone is tucked away and I’m laughing with my family!

Isn’t supper about family time, making the connection with your children and partner? Is there a time when we do need to put the phone down? What do you think?

Hooters: It’s Where You have a Hoot!

July 31, 2011 By in boys, family, family life, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, fun, funny, hooters, Humor, Life, motherhood, musings, my life, objectification of women, opinions, parenthood, parenting, personal life, raising boys, raising children, random thoughts, Relationship's, sex, talking about sex, thoughts Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 16 Comments

As my son and I walked through the  mall attempting to decide where to eat.  His eyes looked up at the bright orange sign and said, “Why don’t we give Hooters a try?”

I sighed, “Umm. Let’s go somewhere else that you might like to try!”

“Mom! Everybody says Hooters is the place where you have a hoot!”

“A hoot?”

“Yes! A hoot!

“Who says that?”

“I don’t know! I just heard it.”

His nine-year old eyes innocently looking up at me, “Can we go?”

“It’s not really a place to have a hoot. It’s just a restaurant. And I have heard the food is terrible.”

“But I want to try it!”

“How about you pick something else? And we can have ice cream afterwards?”

I know the great parental bribe! I have never pretended to be  above it. At the same time, it was my last attempt to change the subject. How did I explain to my son that I did not want to eat at Hooters because the woman were objectified in short shorts and low-cut tank tops. Was it really time for this conversation?

“Mom! Come on! Please! Please!”

If anyone was stubborn it was him and he wasn’t giving up!

“It looks fine. Can we go?”

And with that I diverted the subject, “Let’s have lunch later, and go check-out the skateboard shop.”

Crisis averted! But who knows for how long?

When is the right time to discuss the objectification of woman and sex? Can it be avoided? If so, for how long?

 

Bubble Wrap and Freedom

June 7, 2011 By in bubble wrap, family, Family Dynamics, family life, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, fun, growing up, helicopter parents, letting your children grow, Life, love, motherhood, musings, my life, parenthood, parenting, raising boys, raising children, random thoughts, Relationship's, thoughts Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 14 Comments

As the end of the school year comes around the bend, I  have watched with pride how far my little men have  strided  and grown learning from their own failures and successes. I watch in awe how spirited they have become -  I wonder is it time to unravel some of the bubble wrap that surrounds them? It was just this weekend my nine-year old taught me an important  lesson knowing when it’s time to let go of the reins.

“Mom! Do we have any strawberries?”

“Yes! They are in the fridge. I’ll get them for you in a minute.”

“It’s okay Mom! I got it!”

I hear him open the utensil drawer, shifting through it, and peaked my head around the corner.

“What are you looking for?”

“The cutting knife.”

“I’ll cut them for you.”

“No mom! I can do it!”

Instinctively, I walked over getting the knife out of the drawer ready to begin slicing the strawberries for him. He put out his hand for the knife looking exasperated.

“Mom! I’ve done it before.”

“When?”

“When you were gone one afternoon and dad was downstairs working in the basement. I just did it. And I didn’t cut my fingers. Just let me do it.”

I handed over the knife and hovered over him watching intensely as he chopped up the strawberries.

“Be careful. Watch your fingers.”

“I know Mom.”

It was with that he carefully cut each strawberry,paying attention to every detail, ensuring his little  fingers were safely away from the blade.

Once he was finished, “See I did it! You know I’m going to be in grade 4 next year. I can do this stuff.”

It was with that small moment of hovering over my son, watching him grow to become more independent and responsible. I knew it was time to loosen the reins and give him a little bit more freedom.  If I want him  grow to become the confident young man he is meant to be, I can’t always hover, and  must slowly unravel  just a little bit more of  the bubble wrap that I have constricting him.

Do you think we give children less responsibility these days? How do you know when it’s time to unravel the bubble wrap?

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