Loser Girls

I had one professor he was brilliant, soft-spoken, and knew how to challenge his students. It was with crippling fear not to have done your reading and be faced with the consequences because he loved to debate everything.

He would ask the question, “What did you think of Popper’s method? How did it change the way the social sciences are viewed?”

He would look at the victim scuffing their feet and looking to the floor avoiding any form of eye contact.

“Mike, how do you feel about this?”

Mike would wait a minute, look around, “Oh! Are you talking to me? Well, I guess in science it’s not always important to look at the ethical outcome when you are observing how humans make certain choices.”

It was at this moment everyone would hold their breath and knew Mike had been cornered like a lost sheep against wall with no escape from the wolf lurking in the bushes. You could hear the sound of the pen drop and Dr. M would reply, “So you don’t think a person’s choice value is not influenced by his ethical choices in life?”

He would then give Mike the look the look that would make him shrink into the chair and want to cease to exist. Dr. M would then carry on with his lesson.

It was just the other day I was talking with an acquaintance about her daughter’s grade one class. She was complaining about the school fees, the teacher, and then she made a comment about the loser girls.

My ears piqued up “Loser girls?”

“Well! Yeah! You know the girls! Never have their homework done, never pay attention in class, their parents always forget to send in the forms.”

I felt a slight anger under my belly and repeated slowly, “Loser Girls in grade 1?”

“Yes. They are they don’t do anything. And I don’t want to be paying extra fee when their parents don’t send in the money.”

I bit my tongue, and stayed rational as listened to the ridiculousness of it all, “Loser Girls? Really?”

And then I stared at her I gave her the look that Dr. M once had given Mike.

I raised my eyebrow and gave her a stink eye that said more than any words would ever say to challenge her frame of mind. Her eyes looked away from me as I watched her attempt to blend in with the walls.

Sometimes words don’t always have enough meaning to make a person stop and think what they are saying before they open their mouths. I would like to thank Dr. M for teaching me how maintain rationality when faced with obvious stupidity.

In life there is one commonality that most of us can agree on and that is no girl should ever be called a loser. We talk about the mean girls, the implications it causes in school, and how they can be hurtful to other children. It is parental attitudes such as this Mother which make these mean girls exist and it’s time to give these women a taste of their own medicine.
Do you believe some words aim to hurt? And are just not funny?

The Sound of Silence

We went for a hike along The Hayburger Trail  and on our journey we came across an open meadow full of warmth that invited us in for a rest. We stopped in the middle and admired its beauty.

My husband told my children , “Be very quiet! Lets stand still for five minutes  and see what animals will appear.”

We all stood back to back looking out across the field a butterfly first greeted us, and then a lovely song from a bird filled the field with serenity. We all stood waiting, watching, and enjoying the peaceful moment.

It was that special moment my family and I  stood connected in silence looking out into the wilderness. We watched and waited but no animals appeared in our midst.

As we broke our silence we turned to face each other, looked each other in the eye, and looked down. We all burst out in laughter as we realized we had circled a large pile of bison dung in our silence. If any one of us had moved back on step we would be bringing a small treasure home with us on  the bottom of our shoe.

It was the perfect Sunday to revel in nature’s serene beauty and laugh a little along the way.

How do you enjoy the silence? Do you find peace in nature?

It’s Spewing Leeks!

[Paprika Furstenburg of Good Humored dashes up her blog with a good dose of  wit! She has made me chuckle going where no woman has gone before in the bathroom. Also  a known fact all walks of life find her very attractive especially  mosquitoes and a wide variety of bugs. She asks "What is the most disastrous meal you have ever cooked?"]

A sleep deprived mother with a husband travelling on the road is a lot to muster with a two-year old and infant in the cold winter months. It was one evening I was excited to have him return home to our little love nest. As the two-year old napped and the littlest happily rocked in the swing. I attempted my husbands favorite Cream of Leek Soup with Parmesan Potato Dumplings.It was one my culinary masterpieces that I loved to create on a cold day. 

It was in the afternoon as my two-year old  napped I sleepily chopped the vegetables and boiled them to perfection. It just at the right moment as I was about to puree my creation my little darling awoke from his nap. I got him settled with his toys.  I  then went back into my zombie state thinking I should have had the nap instead of making the dreaded soup.

But what is a girl to do? It was time to puree the leeks! I went to place them in the blender, placing the top just so, pressing the button on high, and that is when all hell broke loose! The devil had possessed my blender!

The top exploded off the blender with gusto!  Chunks of leek  hit the ceiling, the stove, the curtains, covering me, and the children. The blender had taken on a force within itself and was shredding its wrath across my sparkling kitchen.

I felt utterly defeated against this possessed demon and did what any reasonable women would do…I pulled the plug, sat on the floor,  and wailed my little heart out. It was the tearful wail that takes over your whole soul and alerts  the dead to run from your tracks.  I was blinded with tears! I attempted to contain the  snot from running on the floor by wiping my nose with a shirt sleeve covered in leek guts.  The fight against the demon blender and willful leeks had taken the last of my energy!

It was at that moment my husband arrived home early from work to discover the leek massacres  of 2003.  It was to his horror to see one woman covered in gunk tears running down her face sobbing on the kitchen floor, one child running amok dragging the chunks with him as he went, and one little baby patiently waiting for someone to clean – up the mess.

The only thing  of comfort my husband could  say was “Honey, lets open some wine and order a pizza!”

What is one of your worst cooking disasters? Did you ever attempt to make it again?

What if?

My oldest son is in Grade 4 we have a two-minute walk to the elementary school. I  have been trying to give him more freedom. I wondered is it time to let him walk to school by himself? I just feel that there are so many what if’s? What if someone snatches him? What if a careless driver fails to see him crossing the street? What if there is a bully lurking in the corner? What if? What if?

It was just this past week, the morning was cold, and he had to be at school early before everyone else to work on a school project.  I took the leap and decided to give him just a little bit more freedom. I walked him across the busy street letting him walk to school alone. I turned my back and went home.

I sighed, and hurried back home to get on with the morning and organize the littlest for the first bell.

It was later in the morning the house was quiet, I was reaching for my second cup of coffee, and the phone rang. I saw the schools number on the phone and felt a heavy thud in my stomach.

“Hello”

“Hello. We are wondering where Alex is this morning?”

“He is at school.”

“No the teacher has him marked as absent.”

I felt a slight rush of panic my worst nightmare had come true and I was beginning to workout a plan in my head, “No I walked him half way to school he should be there he had an early morning project.”

“Oh! The teacher marked him as absent. She must have forgot.No worries then…”

I felt no worries! I felt a surge of  panic!What if the teacher was right? What if he was absent? What if he was abducted?

“Could you do me a favor and just make sure he is at the school? I only walked him halfway, I didn’t see him walk in, and now just want to double check that he is with the group?”

My helicopter blades were spinning like mad! I panicked thinking maybe he didn’t make it to school.The what ifs swirled in my head. I kicked myself  I should have  walked him the whole way.

The secretary returned to the phone and replied, “It’s all good! We found him! He is with the group!”

And it was with that assurance I felt a huge sigh of relief.

In this day and age there are so many what ifs! As a child I remember roaming the streets with my friends, walking home from school alone, and hanging in the trees in the woods. We weren’t supervised and we all made it out unscathed for the most part.

So what has changed?  Do you have a what if?

Lunch Wars: Bringing Real Food Back to the Schools

In  the novel Lunch Wars, Amy Kalafa, points out we need to teach our children the fundamental importance of good food. “Developing a sense of taste is not just for food snobs. The connection between healthy food, healthy soil, and healthy kids is made through the sense of taste. Teaching children to taste real food at a young age enable them to discern junk food as junk.” It is this food advocacy that needs to be prevalent in more schools. In this novel she teaches for parents to advocate for their children’s health through research,  policy planning, and taking the step forward to speak your mind.

As I read Lunch Wars it made me appreciate the elementary school my children attend for its stringent nutritional guidelines. It offers a nutritious hot lunch program offered once a month in which the meal is made from scratch from local resources. It is in this health food initiative in which children learn the benefits of eating good slow food.

The school also has a plot in the community garden were children participate each spring in the garden club learning how to grow vegetables. It’s these initiatives that teach my children between the taste of a carrot from a fresh garden in comparison to the bulk bag from the super store.

It is teaching  our children the benefits of healthy eating and how to make wise choices with their food options. As my children grow,gain part-time jobs, I won’t be able to hold their hand our control what they consume on a daily basis.  But to ban junk food completely from schools doesn’t prepare them for the real world. As they grow older we need to helicopter less and hope they do make the wise choices. However, if my child is eating a balanced diet I see nothing wrong in enjoying a cup cake every now and then.

Balance and moderation are key to a healthy diet. As our children grow we need to advocate for healthy meals offered in the high school cafeteria. I also know as parents we need to start the education early in the homes because it is not the schools responsibility to monitor our children’s diets. However, we  do need to find balance within the schools to create and provide more healthy options besides pizza and fries.

Do you think schools need to take a more healthy approach to the meal selections they offer? If, so why? Also  check out more about Lunch Wars at BlogHer Book Club and join the  lively discussions!

This was a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

The Return to School

The breeze was cool as  I walked my two little men to school.  I was in disbelief that the summer was over and they were growing up before my very eyes. My oldest was going in grade four he ran ahead with excitement while my youngest entering grade two had straggled behind with trepidation. I balanced my stride in the middle between two the two attempting to look back and forward at the same time.

I admired how tall they grown and how independent they had become over the summer. It was this morning my oldest helped cook the eggs and my youngest tied his sneakers with pride.

It was when we arrived at school my oldest looked at me, “Mom do you have to go with me? I know where I am going?”

“But don’t you want me to meet your teacher?”

“You have met her already.”

“It’s fine. We will just  walk you to your class.”

“Please don’t Mom! Please! I ‘m a big man now. I can find it myself.”

I saw the dread in his eyes, the fear I would walk him to class, and I knew my son was on the verge of becoming a tween. It was with that I let him run to his friends and find his way to his own class. I sighed it seemed too soon that he was growing up before my very eyes.My heart melted as he went on his way and it took all of my power not to hug him in public.

I then walked my youngest to his class. It was there I walked him into the classroom, helped him find his desk, and then assisted in unpacking his school supplies.  I hovered over him until the teacher arrived and introduced herself to us. I gave him a smile as tear a welled up  in my eye and wondered would he need me next year to help with finding his class and unpacking his school supplies.

I cherish the time with my sons. They are  only young  once and one day neither of them will need me at all. It’s best to be there for them now before they grow to old and no longer want to be seen with their Mom.

Do you think parents tend to coddle the youngest more? Or is that an unfair assumption?

The Wrath of the Toot!

I have a love for all things dairy but sadly dairy does not love me.  In fact it hates me! The moment I cave into its wholesome goodness my stomach turns, it aches, and in the end an unnecessary aroma invades our loving home. In all honesty  a crash of gas from me  would force any terrorist from their secret hiding spot…

Last night was no different! It was a lovely meal of savory beans and brown rice. We then indulged with several slices of smoked apple cheddar for dessert. It was heavenly!  It was only within the hour, my tummy began to rumble, “Kids it’s time for bed!”

“Do we have too?”

“Yes! You have too!”

It was with that their father exclaimed, “If you don’t go now I’m sending your mother into tuck you in!”

The littlest exclaimed, “Oh! No! She had cheese! I can smell her farts!”

I looked appalled, “Excuse Me! I do not fart! Ladies do not fart!”

My oldest laughed, “I just heard you two minutes ago!”

I looked at him sternly, “Ladies do not fart. Ladies toot!”

The both ran upstairs laughing, “Ha! Ha! Could you imagine the wrath of Mom’s toot? It’s best we get to bed!”

And with that I tooted throughout the whole evening while my husband covered his nose and retreated to the basement den.

What do you call your gaseous expulsions? Do you admit to your toots?

A Mother’s Unrest

As time passes and we fade to dust do our souls travel to another place? Does a restless soul get trapped ?  And is this why  paranormal activity may exist? I know when we hear the ghost stories over the camp fire at night gaff at the tales because it is stranger than fiction. But have you ever had your own paranormal experience that left you wondering – a sudden brush across your shoulder, a creepy feeling lurking from behind, or just the feeling of a presence somewhere in the midst of your home.

The first apartment that we went rented was in rickety old house, we had the main floor, it was a place that seemed dreams once lived with open windows, the three fireplaces, but as time passed turned into an array of various apartments blocking the flow of rooms and turning a once majestic home into a decay of the past. This is where we lived with the birth of our first son for the first few months of his life. It was the first morning we brought our bundle of joy home to our little space of warmth and love that strange things began to happen on a daily basis.

The first was the infestation of lady  bugs basking in the light of our huge bay window.  After the ladies sudden appearance more oddities occurred such as doors that were shut would slowly open, as if someone was quietly creeping into our room in the middle of the night. In the daytime  our  front entrance which was always locked would fly open for no explicable reason, and no one was ever at the door.

But then it was late at night, in the dead hours,  when the little one would summon for his feeding and you would catch a cool breeze with a glimpse of white shift throughout the hallway. It was those nights I wondered if sleep deprivation was getting the best of me.

It wasn’t until friends began to visit and mentioned they would never live in that house because it was haunted.

“Didn’t you know?”

“Know what? That the house is haunted?”

“We had friends who lived there two summers past and they would have strange things happen every night.”

It was then I discovered the story of this majestic old house. Once upon a  time a wealthy family had dwelled in it`s comforts and called this place home.  It was during World War II  both her husband and  two sons went off to war, and never returned. It is believed the heart of the family, a mother and a wife, is still waiting for their return…It made sense the Mother waiting for the inevitable return for her husband and sons. The grief, sorrow, and pain that must have held her soul to tight and now she is left to wait.

I never felt scared  in the old haunted house, I felt comforted that once lived a women who loved her sons, just as much as I loved mine. So when the door would slowly creep open with no one to be seen I knew it was just her checking in on our  little man. After all, everyone loves a baby, even ghosts, I’m assuming…

Do you believe in the paranormal? Have you ever had an experience that is stranger than fiction?

Sweet Little Lies

“I’ll have just one this week and that’s it!”

Have you heard yourself ever say that knowing your heart that it wasn’t true? It ‘s the sweet little lies we tell ourselves in order to survive the day!  It’s those moments of craziness that we need a crutch, something to relish, escape! We know in the back of our heads we should be saving our money and stuffing it under the mattress. Ready to invest with our little bundle of cash once the market regains control and slowly rises to new heights!

But in our quest to financial healthiness have we become to puritanical? No longer is take – out an option on those stressful days! Forget the pack of smokes they cost a fortune! And who has time to sip an expensive glass of wine? The one thing left is  that glorious five dollar Starbucks caramel macchiatto!  The one thing every financial guru tells you to avoid, they remind you that 5 dollars a day, adds up to 182 5 dollars over a year not including compound interest. Yikes!

I have cut back on my Starbucks habit for obvious reasons like ensuring I can still stick into my jeans and the guilt of spending 5 dollars a day on that one glorious luxury.  I confess Starbucks is my sweet little lie. It’s my clutch for those horrendous days and my companion when I’m in need of a friend. Perhaps, it does add up, but I just keep telling myself enjoyment is in a good cup of coffee. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

I just sip and enjoy! Afterall, there is worst things in life to enjoy! Isn’t there?

What is your one sweet little lie? Do you ever feel guilty about it?

Call Me Old-Fashioned…

Do you remember the days at the supper table? The phone would ring and nobody would answer it because you were eating. It didn’t matter what who was calling because it had to wait. Meal Time  was family time regardless if you were crying over meatloaf and canned peas…

We always seem to be wired no matter where we go or what we do. It has become a part of our life. But isn’t there a time when we need to take a break from the connectivity. Isn’t supper time family time?

I wondered as my husband and I went out for a nice dinner. The perfect family sat across from us their daughter sat up right with her doll. She looked immaculate and was extremely well – behaved. She would play with her doll then look up to her parents. She would then wait for one of them to speak to her..

Her parents  both uttered not a single word to her! They were both on their phones, giggling, texting not paying any attention to this young girl looking up at them for recognition or some form of conversation. The girl sat straight playing with her doll,  quietly, waiting for someone to speak…

My husband and I both looked at each other and wondered have we become old-fashioned? Dinner time is a time to connect, laugh, speak with each other. It’s about talking about the present, your day, and making plans for the future.  Supper time is the time when you get to re-connect with your family  and stay in tune with your own children’s thoughts and feelings. I guess you can call me old-fashioned but at supper time the phone is tucked away and I’m laughing with my family!

Isn’t supper about family time, making the connection with your children and partner? Is there a time when we do need to put the phone down? What do you think?

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