{PS I Love Soap Co. is a maverick when it comes to soap and she whips up a storm with her wonderful creations! Her one question for me “If stranded on a deserted island with husband and kids what is the one thing I would bring?” I was tempted to answer the men from Strike Back! But that would be two things and I would end up with a very jealous husband.}
If you were stranded on a deserted island what would be the one thing you would bring?
We all run into that one person who has seen us a thousand times before but yet they seem to forget who we are depending on how we look or smell that day. It is at that point I hear the circus music my brain filters on double duty in attempt to prevent the ass in the box from popping up. I always have one thought that lingers in the back of my head as I pass by their glorious air of distinction.
If you could customize your very own Ass in the Box what gaseous fumes would be emitted to that very special person?
As an impulsive person it took me some time to work on the finer art of conversation, to be patient, smile, nod, and listen. Many times I find myself opting out of conversations of sex, religion, and politics. My brain calmly begins to filter if I disagree on the point of the commenter and switch gears to another topic of conversation.
However, if you catch me on a really bad day my brain does something funny – wires malfunction, it short circuits and sparks begin to fly. Such as if I see a picture of Bill Clinton with Porn Stars come across my tweet space after a really long day. I get a little pissy!
So! Bill Clinton, I ask you “What the Fuck?”
How does your brain filtering system work?
We went for a hike along The Hayburger Trail and on our journey we came across an open meadow full of warmth that invited us in for a rest. We stopped in the middle and admired its beauty.
My husband told my children , “Be very quiet! Lets stand still for five minutes and see what animals will appear.”
We all stood back to back looking out across the field a butterfly first greeted us, and then a lovely song from a bird filled the field with serenity. We all stood waiting, watching, and enjoying the peaceful moment.
It was that special moment my family and I stood connected in silence looking out into the wilderness. We watched and waited but no animals appeared in our midst.
As we broke our silence we turned to face each other, looked each other in the eye, and looked down. We all burst out in laughter as we realized we had circled a large pile of bison dung in our silence. If any one of us had moved back on step we would be bringing a small treasure home with us on the bottom of our shoe.
It was the perfect Sunday to revel in nature’s serene beauty and laugh a little along the way.
How do you enjoy the silence? Do you find peace in nature?
[Paprika Furstenburg of Good Humored dashes up her blog with a good dose of wit! She has made me chuckle going where no woman has gone before in the bathroom. Also a known fact all walks of life find her very attractive especially mosquitoes and a wide variety of bugs. She asks "What is the most disastrous meal you have ever cooked?"]
A sleep deprived mother with a husband travelling on the road is a lot to muster with a two-year old and infant in the cold winter months. It was one evening I was excited to have him return home to our little love nest. As the two-year old napped and the littlest happily rocked in the swing. I attempted my husbands favorite Cream of Leek Soup with Parmesan Potato Dumplings.It was one my culinary masterpieces that I loved to create on a cold day. 
It was in the afternoon as my two-year old napped I sleepily chopped the vegetables and boiled them to perfection. It just at the right moment as I was about to puree my creation my little darling awoke from his nap. I got him settled with his toys. I then went back into my zombie state thinking I should have had the nap instead of making the dreaded soup.
But what is a girl to do? It was time to puree the leeks! I went to place them in the blender, placing the top just so, pressing the button on high, and that is when all hell broke loose! The devil had possessed my blender!
The top exploded off the blender with gusto! Chunks of leek hit the ceiling, the stove, the curtains, covering me, and the children. The blender had taken on a force within itself and was shredding its wrath across my sparkling kitchen.
I felt utterly defeated against this possessed demon and did what any reasonable women would do…I pulled the plug, sat on the floor, and wailed my little heart out. It was the tearful wail that takes over your whole soul and alerts the dead to run from your tracks. I was blinded with tears! I attempted to contain the snot from running on the floor by wiping my nose with a shirt sleeve covered in leek guts. The fight against the demon blender and willful leeks had taken the last of my energy!
It was at that moment my husband arrived home early from work to discover the leek massacres of 2003. It was to his horror to see one woman covered in gunk tears running down her face sobbing on the kitchen floor, one child running amok dragging the chunks with him as he went, and one little baby patiently waiting for someone to clean – up the mess.
The only thing of comfort my husband could say was “Honey, lets open some wine and order a pizza!”
What is one of your worst cooking disasters? Did you ever attempt to make it again?
[Tilly Bud The Laughing Housewife serves up a silver lining with her daily humor. Can you believe she schedules her posts three times a day? I wish I had that dedication! She asks "If you were only allowed to write about one thing i.e. your blog had to have just one topic, what would it be?"]
I have an addiction to Peanut Butter I love it in the morning, love in the evening, and even in the afternoon. It compliments my beverage of choice whether it be milk, coffee, tea, wine, or beer. It offers me comfort on a dark day. And happiness on a good one. It is the one thing in my cupboard that I can depend on when there is nothing to eat. Peanut butter in a word is my true love. 
My addiction came about the time I was seven! It was around the same time the ad for Squirrel Peanut Butter invaded the TV waves with the slogan the one with the peanut on top.
Everytime my mother would bring home a new container of peanut butter I had to be the first to have the peanut on top!
Sometimes my oldest sister would torment me with the fact that she had to have the peanut “It wasn’t fair that I got it all the time.”Looking back she was fourteen and I was seven – I think she could have forgone the peanut.
My mother to keep the peace and tired of teenage hormones would scold me to ask first before taking it with the unpleasant reminder that it was very rude not to share the peanut. I would then be sent to my room to think about my perilous mistake!
Of course, how could one peanut cause such a ruckus? I’ll never know…But I do know I take comfort in a peanut butter sandwich or cookie any day over a peanut!
If there was one food you had to blog about what would it be?
[Counting Ducks serves up blog posts with deep insight and brings optimism to the forefront with your morning cup of coffee. He asks the key question"Why is October specially busy?" A very good question indeed..]
As a slight cold wind blows through the city streets and the leaves begin to fall to the ground. The last few days of beautiful weather have gone leaving my toes itchy for more. And the month of October there is always more!
It’s the perfect time to inhale the air and step outside before the treacherous white witch arrives to steal all of falls glory. I am the defender of all things fall and will fight the white witch until the bitter end. It is this which makes October busy!
I have to relish the smells of Thanksgiving supper full of roast turkey, mashed potatoes, roasted butternut squash , and pumpkin pie. Enjoy one too many glasses of wine and fall in a pile of leaves. Thanksgiving is my time to enjoy all of my favorite foods and be thankful for the ones I love with all of my heart.
It’s then with a turn of a switch I take a hitch and prepare for my favorite day of the year! Hallow’s Eve! What is better than ghouls,ghosts, and goblins? It’s this year I will make my own ghoulish masterpiece of a cemetery cake! Dare to create a haunted house that no one will enter!
However, a certain someone in my life doesn’t understand my need to have four Jack O lanterns, Caution Tape Across the Front Door, a witch perched in the yard, the hint of gravestones lingering in the front, and maybe a leg upside down in the garden.
Jack and the Cat by Michelle Nardi
I must be careful not to cause a stir and abruptly change everything at once for some people do not love Halloween as much as I! I must slowly prepare this soul with a gradual changes to the house as I slowly increase the additions of Halloween Horrors.
I must slowly place the pumpkins on the step, wait a day for the caution tape, sneak out the witch, dedicate an afternoon of making ghosts hanging in the trees, lighting the house in black and orange. I do it all in stages. Many stages. He accepts each time without question as he walks through the door with a slight grumble and graciously waits for the day I tear it all down.
I have promised this year to be a much more quiet Halloween! The only thing is I will have to do is forgo the music, make a smaller rum punch, and only haul out the smoke machine. Afterall, relationships are about compromise….
Are you finding the change of seasons busy? Do you love Halloween and Thanksgiving as much as me?
The month of October is going to be busy! I find when I get trapped in the hustle and the bustle. My mind gets a little foggy and I stop blogging. So I’m asking for your help! 
Can you leave me one question in the comment box? It can be anything that pops off the top of your mind! I will use each of those questions as a writing prompt for an upcoming blog post this month. I will also link your question back to your blog and thank you profusely for inspiring me.
I look forward to being challenged this month with all of your brilliant questions!
My mother is a keen expert in Catholic Guilt. She has learned the art with gusto and can summon a yes out of me with ease of a sniff or hint of illness. It’s no surprise that she learned it from the best – her mother.
Pallbearers at the Ready - Ginger Lovellette
My Nana was a fireball of words and was an extremely sore loser at cards. It’s not that she didn’t love us but she liked to test us. Perhaps, it was by calling our husband by our ex-boyfriends names, or point out without exception when we gained weight. But she loved us in her odd way always disappointed that we never fulfilled any of her dreams of becoming nuns, saints, or priests.
It was when she died it was unbeknownst to me that the family had decided a grandchild from each family would be a pallbearer. My Mom went to my sister and she wisely declined. As I sipped my wine our mother glanced my way ‘You can be the pallbearer. We need one from each family.”
“I don’t want to do it.”
“You have to your sister won’t! So that means you!”
“Do I have too?”
“Yes! You do!”
“Really!?”
“We have to have someone represent us. I can’t do it! I just can’t” she sniffed and then peered up to see if I would take the bait.
“Isn’t the casket heavy to lift?”
“Don’t worry about there will be a trolley. You won’t have to lift. You just have to walk beside and help wheel it down.”
The morning of the funeral was cold with a light snow as we arrived at the church. We walked in I waited back with a motley crew of cousins two already had a nip at the bottle, one was recovering from heart surgery, another that weighed less than a hundred pounds, one cranky as me for having to participate in the service.
We were ushered outside to the front of the church. The gentleman from the funeral home informed us that we would have to assist with removing the coffin from the hearse. It was there we all looked for the trolley to wheel her up the stairs.
We looked and then we looked at each other – we were all to carry the coffin up the mountain of icy stairs and down the long church aisle. How could this happen? In the madness of it all I and my other cousin were placed in the front to bare the heaviest of the casket. My shoes slipped, my cousin who had a nip, “Hold on! Does everyone got her?”
I suspected he mumbled the words old trout under his breath.
We slowly walked up the icy steps, our faces beat red, puffing and panting. Nana and the coffin were much heavier than expected, it was at that moment, I cursed my Mom, I cursed my heels, and the coffin began to tilt someone screamed, “Hold on! We`re losing her! Don’t drop Nana!”
It was with panic we all held on for dear life and knew if we dropped Nana it would be the end to us all. The Aunts would never forgive us and we would be thrown into our own private hell. We all caught balanced and managed walking the coffin down the aisle. After we returned to the pews, my one cousin was having chest pains, the other was looking for his flask, and my other cousin turned to me and replied, “Nana was heavy! But I didn’t think she was that heavy.”
It’s with that is the memory of my grandmother’s funeral all six of us guilted into carrying the casket up the aisle and almost dropping Nana. I could almost hear her in heaven as she nipped her gin, “I wouldn’t be surprised if they did drop me! One of them at least could have been a nun or a priest!”
It was after the funeral I returned home that I vowed to learn to use the word No with gusto! It was that evening I toasted Nana with a glass of lime pop and gin thanking her for her last heavy lesson. If I could return to that day I would have much prefered to be in the pew mustering a tear or two instead of dealing with the fear of Nana’s holy ghost.
Is there a day you would like to return to and just say no?
This week took a turn from organized to chaotic. So I have given over my blog to my dog Sadie to give you a brief perspective into her life. I beg to disagree with most of her points!
If you ever listened to the Beatles songs a Hard Days Night then you already know my life in the first two lines. However, there is no sleep for me and I do work like a dog. I feel as if most days no one appreciates all of my hard work! 
Did you know that I’m rustled out of bed at the crack of dawn? Two little giants rumble in and jump on top of me with cuddles. Don’t they realize I need sleep! I’m up all night listening to the rabbits under the step and people passing on the side-walk. I even have to listen to snores and toots! It’s enough for anyone to have a sleepless night.
The next thing you know, the morning chaos erupts, everyone is out the door, and I’m left stuck in my crate. My owner says, “It’s because I cannot be trusted.” It wasn’t my fault the front window blinds got pulled down by my paws and the lovely white panels were calling me to chew them into tiny delicious pieces. I’m only a dog after all…
It’s when my Mom returns home lets me out of the crate she gives me the most daunting task in dogs history. I have to work on getting rid of a closet full of shoes. Her house needs some major de-cluttering. I have been very proactive in helping solve this situation. I have been known to courageously seize the opportunity!
It is when no one is looking I grab a shoe, hide under the bed, and chew it until I’m caught! If I’m lucky they don’t discover the chewed shoe for at least a day! But that’s one more pair of shoes that doesn’t take up space on the shoe rack! One giant leap for interior spaciousness!
But the worst part of my day is supper! I get something dry and gross while they all eat steak! How fair is that? I have to tolerate the whole meal in silence waiting for a morsel to fall on the floor. I feel like such a barbarian!
Did you know you know she is not even paying me in treats for writing this? She’s such a cheapskate!
Phew! All of this typing has made me tired!I think I could go for a nap….
What do you think of a dog’s life? Do I have it rough?
