Category Archives: Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings

The Return to School

September 2, 2011 By in back to school, coddling the youngest, creative writing, family life, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, helicopter parenting, Life, motherhood, musings, my life, NaBloPoMo, parenthood, parenting, raising boys, raising kids, return Tags: , , , , , , , , 18 Comments

The breeze was cool as  I walked my two little men to school.  I was in disbelief that the summer was over and they were growing up before my very eyes. My oldest was going in grade four he ran ahead with excitement while my youngest entering grade two had straggled behind with trepidation. I balanced my stride in the middle between two the two attempting to look back and forward at the same time.

I admired how tall they grown and how independent they had become over the summer. It was this morning my oldest helped cook the eggs and my youngest tied his sneakers with pride.

It was when we arrived at school my oldest looked at me, “Mom do you have to go with me? I know where I am going?”

“But don’t you want me to meet your teacher?”

“You have met her already.”

“It’s fine. We will just  walk you to your class.”

“Please don’t Mom! Please! I ‘m a big man now. I can find it myself.”

I saw the dread in his eyes, the fear I would walk him to class, and I knew my son was on the verge of becoming a tween. It was with that I let him run to his friends and find his way to his own class. I sighed it seemed too soon that he was growing up before my very eyes.My heart melted as he went on his way and it took all of my power not to hug him in public.

I then walked my youngest to his class. It was there I walked him into the classroom, helped him find his desk, and then assisted in unpacking his school supplies.  I hovered over him until the teacher arrived and introduced herself to us. I gave him a smile as tear a welled up  in my eye and wondered would he need me next year to help with finding his class and unpacking his school supplies.

I cherish the time with my sons. They are  only young  once and one day neither of them will need me at all. It’s best to be there for them now before they grow to old and no longer want to be seen with their Mom.

Do you think parents tend to coddle the youngest more? Or is that an unfair assumption?

The Open Road, A Station Wagon, and a Cassette Player

August 20, 2011 By in cassette player, Creatvie Writing, Cross Canada Adventure, eighties music, family life, family travel, family vacations, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, fun, funny, Julian Lennon, Life, motherhood, Much too Late for Good -Byes, NaBloPoMo, parenthood Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 23 Comments

The  beginning of our family vacation was when my Dad came home the purchase of a shiny gray station wagon. He beamed with pride over his investment and knew it would be the icing on the cake for our summer road trip with two spirited teenage daughters, and me. It was one of those moments I wonder what my parents were they thinking as they packed up the Belfond Bus and sent us on our cross Canada journey.

I was scrunched between my two older sisters, high on Gravol, unable to read due to car-sickness, and remembering everything in a sleepy haze.  I always looked straight ahead in the off-chance that I would lose my cookies. I instinctively knew  I would face fear of death if by chance I accidentally vomited on one of them.

We made that  long two-week journey on the open road. No we didn’t have movies  in the backseat, no Nintendo DS, and there was  no luxury of air conditioning.  Most days traveling down the long stretch of highway it was hot and when my Mom drove it was nauseating.

The only saving grace was oldest my sisters tape recorder it was there in the dusty back seat we listened to our favorite cassettes Duran Duran, Billy Idol, Footloose, and my favorite Julian Lennon.

Now looking back we always seemed to play “Too Late for Good-Byes” over and over again at the very end of the day. It seemed we may even have been testing our parents last straw of patience. We would  hit the high pitch notes with gusto seeing how high we could actually go with our screeching voices.

That is until my Mother could no longer take it!  She would look back with fierceness in her eyes and holler from the front, “Turn that bloody thing down! I can’t take it anymore!”

I guess it took my own long drives with my own children to realize how brave my parents actually were to take all three of us on a cross-country adventure. I wondered how they stood sane in some of those more hairy moments. But then again they are what family memories are made of and we will always them have for a lifetime.

Is there a song that  evokes a memory from one of your family vacations?

Hooters: It’s Where You have a Hoot!

July 31, 2011 By in boys, family, family life, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, fun, funny, hooters, Humor, Life, motherhood, musings, my life, objectification of women, opinions, parenthood, parenting, personal life, raising boys, raising children, random thoughts, Relationship's, sex, talking about sex, thoughts Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 16 Comments

As my son and I walked through the  mall attempting to decide where to eat.  His eyes looked up at the bright orange sign and said, “Why don’t we give Hooters a try?”

I sighed, “Umm. Let’s go somewhere else that you might like to try!”

“Mom! Everybody says Hooters is the place where you have a hoot!”

“A hoot?”

“Yes! A hoot!

“Who says that?”

“I don’t know! I just heard it.”

His nine-year old eyes innocently looking up at me, “Can we go?”

“It’s not really a place to have a hoot. It’s just a restaurant. And I have heard the food is terrible.”

“But I want to try it!”

“How about you pick something else? And we can have ice cream afterwards?”

I know the great parental bribe! I have never pretended to be  above it. At the same time, it was my last attempt to change the subject. How did I explain to my son that I did not want to eat at Hooters because the woman were objectified in short shorts and low-cut tank tops. Was it really time for this conversation?

“Mom! Come on! Please! Please!”

If anyone was stubborn it was him and he wasn’t giving up!

“It looks fine. Can we go?”

And with that I diverted the subject, “Let’s have lunch later, and go check-out the skateboard shop.”

Crisis averted! But who knows for how long?

When is the right time to discuss the objectification of woman and sex? Can it be avoided? If so, for how long?

 

Bubble Wrap and Freedom

June 7, 2011 By in bubble wrap, family, Family Dynamics, family life, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, fun, growing up, helicopter parents, letting your children grow, Life, love, motherhood, musings, my life, parenthood, parenting, raising boys, raising children, random thoughts, Relationship's, thoughts Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 14 Comments

As the end of the school year comes around the bend, I  have watched with pride how far my little men have  strided  and grown learning from their own failures and successes. I watch in awe how spirited they have become -  I wonder is it time to unravel some of the bubble wrap that surrounds them? It was just this weekend my nine-year old taught me an important  lesson knowing when it’s time to let go of the reins.

“Mom! Do we have any strawberries?”

“Yes! They are in the fridge. I’ll get them for you in a minute.”

“It’s okay Mom! I got it!”

I hear him open the utensil drawer, shifting through it, and peaked my head around the corner.

“What are you looking for?”

“The cutting knife.”

“I’ll cut them for you.”

“No mom! I can do it!”

Instinctively, I walked over getting the knife out of the drawer ready to begin slicing the strawberries for him. He put out his hand for the knife looking exasperated.

“Mom! I’ve done it before.”

“When?”

“When you were gone one afternoon and dad was downstairs working in the basement. I just did it. And I didn’t cut my fingers. Just let me do it.”

I handed over the knife and hovered over him watching intensely as he chopped up the strawberries.

“Be careful. Watch your fingers.”

“I know Mom.”

It was with that he carefully cut each strawberry,paying attention to every detail, ensuring his little  fingers were safely away from the blade.

Once he was finished, “See I did it! You know I’m going to be in grade 4 next year. I can do this stuff.”

It was with that small moment of hovering over my son, watching him grow to become more independent and responsible. I knew it was time to loosen the reins and give him a little bit more freedom.  If I want him  grow to become the confident young man he is meant to be, I can’t always hover, and  must slowly unravel  just a little bit more of  the bubble wrap that I have constricting him.

Do you think we give children less responsibility these days? How do you know when it’s time to unravel the bubble wrap?

A Lesson from Mother Nature

May 31, 2010 By in boys, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, funny, hiking, Life, Marriage, Mother Nature, national parks, nature, nature walk, outdoors, outdoots, parenting, Relationship's, sun gods, Weather Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

 I had ambitious plans this weekend which included completing my retaining wall, planting my garden, and enjoying a nice Sunday at Elk Island National Park. However, Mother Nature had other plans for me.

 I woke up Saturday morning ready to face the day but as I looked out my window. Gasped at the snow and rain. I felt a strong sense of defeat. I began to curse Mother Nature and the Sun gods, wondering only why? I realized no awkward sun dance, or rare offering of pistachio nuts would appease the gods to grant us sun.

After, I ranted, complained, and stomped my feet. I played three solid hours of board games from Monopoly to Clue and subjected myself to watching Little Hercules with the kids. After my Saturday afternoon of non -stop fun was complete. I came to the astonishing conclusion that if I can’t win over Mother Nature and her crew of Sun gods I may as well work with them.

It was on Sunday I put this theory to the test. I woke-up and it was still raining with a mixture of snow.

 My husband had a relieved smirk on his face, “I guess we are not doing that 10km death march today?”

I gave him the stink eye.”What are you afraid we are going to melt?”

He looked slightly panicked, “We’re not going out in that for a 10km hike with the kids!”

“Fine, Let’s compromise – We can do a short 3km hike, and drive the bison loop.”

“It’s raining.”

“So!”

My husband looked sceptical and was prepared for the worse as we hopped in the car, setting out on our Merry Way to Elk Island National Park.  The children were also not the most enthused bunch and wondered why we couldn’t do this on a sunny day.

My only pep talk was, “What are you wimps! Scared of a little weather! Chickens!”

My oldest responded with an eye roll and a “Whatever! You are, so, mature Mom.”

I ignored his passive complaint, and offered up a variety of Tim bits. They happily noshed as we drove on. Once we arrived, we hit up the Bison Loop.  We drove around the corner and were immediately greeted by a herd of bison.

The kids eyes lit up and they went wild with excitement!  They were thrilled to see the Bison so close to our car. However, petrified at the same time, my husband and I debated, how close is too close to these woolly creatures. Needless, to say they grazed, lumbered, and ignored us for the most part. We were just another group of humans passing through for the bison show.

After our encounter with supper, we decided on a short 3 km walk on the Amisk Wuche Trail. It was still pouring rain and my husband saw his last chance to convince me to opt out.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

I sighed, “It is just rain!”Suck it up!”

We hopped on the snow cover trail, wandering across the boardwalks of kettle lakes, and beaver ponds.  The kids delighted in snowball fights, the family of chipmunks, and the loons on the lake. We were raucous and loud being the only people on the trail.

As we hopped back in the car, muddy and drenched from the rain, my oldest son looked at me and said, “This maybe one of the best days ever.”

So, thank you Mother Nature for teaching me to go with the flow, and to work with the weather.  I know without the rain-it wouldn’t have been nearly such a fun day. However, I’m ready for a little sun. Please!

Apologies for the poor quality of pictures. My camera fizzled this weekend and I had no choice but to use the blackberry.

Prince Charming and the Kiss

May 29, 2010 By in boys, Family Dynamics, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, first kiss, Life, love, parenting, Relationship's Tags: , , , , , , , , , 7 Comments

It was just another average Thursday afternoon for me as I waited for my boys at the bus stop.  But all of that changed as soon my oldest ran off the bus exclaiming “Mom! Guess what?”

“What?”

My youngest gave Robert the stink eye, “You promised not to tell!”

My interest peaked, “What did you do now?”

Robert exclaimed, “Alex kissed a girl!”

My face went pale and I thought my six year old kissed a girl. This can’t be happening.  I tried to keep cool surely there was a misunderstanding. My boys don’t kiss girls.  I needed details, had to assess the situation, and ensure it would never happen again until he was thirty.   

I looked at Alex his face went beat red and I knew at that moment my little prince did kiss a girl.

“Did you kiss a girl Alex?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!”

“You have to talk about it. I’m your mother.”

“I don’t want to tell.”

“It’s okay honey.  You are not in trouble. Just tell me about it.”

His face went another shade of red, “I don’t want to talk about it!”

At this point, I needed info, who, what, when, and where? He wasn’t budging and if he had his way he would never talk about it again. I knew this moment was my only window of opportunity and I pulled out my skill tool box – communicating with children 101.

“Mommy will buy you a slushy if you tell me.”

His eyes lit up and I could tell my bribe was about ready to work.

“Fine! I’ll tell you! But only if you don’t tell anyone else! Especially Dad!”

I crossed my fingers and agreed it would be our secret.

“So when did this happen?”

His face went to another shade of red and mumbled, “Just now!  On the bus.”

“Oh! Well who was it?”

“Do I have to tell?”

“Yes if you want that slushy.”

“Fine! It was Lexi! She kissed me good-bye when I was getting ready to get off the bus! Can I have my slushy?”

“Not yet, what did you do?”

“I looked at her, told her DON’T, and ran off the bus! Please! Can I have my slushy?”

It was at that moment my little six year old looked mortified that he had to have this discussion with his mother.  I took deep breath, feeling relieved, my son was no Rico Suave.  And exclaimed “Slushy Time!”

The Phone Call

May 21, 2010 By in boys, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, Life, parenting, Relationship's Tags: , , 2 Comments

 

It was last weekend my eight year old son came home and said the dreaded word no mother wants to hear.

“Margaret is calling me tonight and we are going to meet in the Club Penguin chat room for a date.”

I looked at him and blanched.

“You know that you are only allowed on the computer for forty minutes a day. Did you want save your computer time for this?”

He looked at me like I had said the dumbest thing in the world.

“Yes! Mom! Yes!”

“Okay!”

He spent the whole weekend waiting for this girl to phone.  I was relieved when she didn’t, and wondered if I called boys when I was eight? It seemed so long ago.  He went back to school Monday and seemed to have forgotten the Club Penguin Chat Room date. I let out a sigh of a relief and was happy that my eight year old was not dating.

Unfortunately, he came home this afternoon, and declared she would call him tonight! They would have their date.  I looked at him and said, “Sweetie, you know she might not call!”

“She will call mom! The reason she didn’t this weekend was because she was cutting her stuffed animals hair!”

“Oh!”

I thought to myself the excuses we make begin early. But I couldn’t help to laugh! I might even use that line the next time I have some odious task that I do not want to complete.  I then ushered him out the door.

“Maybe, you should go outside and play!”

“Okay, but can I take the phone out?”

“Fine, take it with you.”

I watched my little eight year old from the kitchen as he jumped on his mega bouncer, clutching the phone waiting for it to ring. But it didn’t.  He came inside for a snack and forgot about the phone.  He then went back out to play.

It was at that moment the phone rang. It was her!  I knew I could answer it and let him have his Club Penguin Date. I would be the Mom that saved the day!  But I realized at that moment I was that possessive mother that will chase all of the girls away!  I looked at him happily playing in the Mega Bouncer, thought to myself dates can wait, and I didn’t pick up the phone.

Three Cheers for Camping!

May 19, 2010 By in boys, camping, camping with children, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, Life, nature, Relationship's 1 Comment

The sun is shining and I’m getting that itch to plan a camping trip. I know some of you may groan at the thought of camping in the wilderness, with communal showers, sharing a tent with three other people (stinky boys to be exact).  But our family camping trips are always filled with the greatest memories.  

 Our children get to see another part of Canada that is not just museums, malls, city streets, and amusement parks.  Our children are fortunate to experience nature! They have viewed the whales from the top of the cliffs of Grand Manan Island, watched seals venture off into the water at Perce Rock, and hiked to the top of peaks to enjoy the views of the Rockies. It is these experiences which help them to appreciate nature and grow to become confident young men.

As soon as the warm weather hits, my husbands spots the glint in my eye, and knows I’m planning our next outdoor adventure. It’s the little things in camping that I love, stories by the fire, the thrill of sleeping under the stars, and watching my curious little men explore the great wilderness.  It’s not very often they get to stare face to face at a buck or chase an unsuspecting mole. It’s these adventures which make them appreciate their world and have a deeper love for nature.

The Kindergarten Conundrum

May 15, 2010 By in early learning, Education, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings, holding kids back in school, Kindergarten, Life, Relationship's, School Tags: , 4 Comments

Most mornings, I am greeted by my son Alex as a super hero, cowboy, or skeleton. He has a wild adventurous imagination, and loves to play outside all day.

It was last year I made the mistake of putting him in Kindergarten at the age of four.  He knew his alphabet, but it was evident, upon starting school, he had no interest in printing or reading. As the year progressed, he knew only a handful of the hundred words necessary to move forward into grade one.

It was at home, I would work with him to improve his skills but he would get frustrated within seconds of attempting to print or read.  As soon, as I saw his face turn red, I would brace for the water works.  It with moments like these I realized I put him in school too early!

I knew he would need another year of kindergarten.  We decided to hold him back for one more year to improve his printing, and reading.  It was evident to us that he was not ready for grade one.

You would think other parents would have been more understanding and supportive. But in the real world this wasn’t necessarily the case.  It was my conversation with Judy which made me realize not all people understand that children learn better at different level and stages.

“So is Alex already for grade one next year?”

“No, we are going to hold him back a year.”

“Oh! Well! Is he slow?”

I looked at her perplexed.

“He’s not slow, just young. He turned five in December.”

“Oh well! Did you practice with him? And do extra homework?”

“Yes, we spent some time on practicing his letters but he is five. He needs his playtime.”
“You know my Madison is doing great and she’s five.”

“Oh that’s wonderful she seems very keen.”

“She is! Did you ever think of putting him in Sylvan Learning?”

“He’s five and I believe at this age it is more important for him to explore outside and play.”

“”I suppose you are right. But I just don’t get why you would hold him back if he’s not slow?”

My face started to turn a little red; I took a deep breath, and looked to the sky for patience.

“He’s not slow, he’s five, and children learn better at different ages. I made the mistake and jumped the gun too soon. I think another year of kindergarten will be just fine for him.”

“But don’t you think he’ll be teased?”

“Teased in kindergarten, really?”

“You never know!”

“I guess! But I don’t think children are aware of that at that age. Besides, it’s better to hold him back, gain confidence, love school, as opposed to placing him in grade one with a more structured routine, have him hate it, and have to repeat. ”

“Oh well, I suppose if he’s slow then you do what you have too.”

At this point the sky was no longer extolling the virtue of patience upon me and I blurted, “For God sakes! He’s not slow, stop using that word!”

Judy then gave me a pissy look “Sorry.”

I took a deep breath, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get upset. I didn’t realize it was such a sensitive topic for other parents. “

At this point, she looked a little dazed and confused about the whole conversation. I slowly began to back away and looked at my watch.  Needless to say, I haven’t seen much of Judy since this conversation.  But I would love to tell her this “Suck it!”

As the end of this school year slowly approaches, and with Alex’s second year of Kindergarten almost over I have seen a huge difference in my son, his confidence, and his thirst for learning.  He can write, spell, and knows his one hundred words. He will be ready for grade one next year and I know I made the right decision for my little cowboy.

A Conversation with the Thistle Lady

April 16, 2010 By in 1, Family, Mothers, Children, Life, Siblings 6 Comments

 

I have a confession to make…It pains me to say it but I hide from my neighbour. If I see her I will dodge behind a bush or throw my husband to her as the lamb to the slaughter. I’m being kind when I say this but my neighbour is a Tyrant.  It was last summer that we purchased a beautiful home on a green space – perfect for our kids. But unbeknownst to me I had to deal with The Thistle Lady.

Our conversations would begin as such:

“I’ve been meaning to discuss an issue I have with you about the thistles. You see I have noticed that they have been growing in the park space and I have taken the opportunity to be pulling them out. I was just wondering if you thought about doing the same – for the children, of course.”

I would look at the Thistle Lady with a dazed incomprehension of what she was actually talking about and wondered about the children.

“What do you mean for the children?”

“Well, you know how prickly the thistles can be?”

“My children seem to have no problems with thistles. Why would I want to pull them out of the public park space? Don’t we pay property tax and home owner’s association fees to have it taken care of?”

“Yes, we do! But it’s about communal living. The people of the community must take back the park spaces. Maybe we should even charge for others to use them.”

“But why?”

“As you know we need to take care of our common space.”

“But it looks fine. “

“You have no idea. But what do you know? I’m not quite sure you do anything besides stare at the computer, drink wine, or read books all day.”

 “I think I hear the phone ringing.”

The phone was my saviour but even on the best of days there was no escape!  It is this conversation which would occur on a daily basis, and at anytime of the day nobody was ever safe. She even went as far as to plant a thistle in my flower patch and tormented anyone who dared to enter the park.  It is this reason alone that I believe every home for sale should list a neighbour beware policy.  No one should ever have to deal with the Thistle Lady!

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