Sunday afternoon was when the great fall took place! It happened without warning! All of a sudden I was laughing as I began to go down the stairs and seconds later I was laying flat at the bottom of them. It was at that moment I took a very deep breath and attempted not to unleash a slew of profanities in front of my children.
After fainting and a visit to the ER I then watched the last of the Oscars with a slice of greasy pizza.
As I watched Jennifer Lawrence begin her descent up the stairs she fell and in my Tylenol 3 coma I muttered “What a beautiful dress! It’s just so beautiful! Look it even looks fantastic when she falls!”
After the announcement of Best Actor and Movie my husband decided it was best to usher me off to bed. As I dreamily stated “Ben is a really great guy!”
It was the next morning as I attempted to move that I realized Jennifer Lawrence and I both had Great Falls on Sunday except there were obvious differences in how we fell.
Jennifer Lawrence falls up the stairs and is greeted by a handsome French Actor.
I am greeted by a husband making a concerned face “Why on earth did you wear those shoes? Sesh! It looked like it really hurt! I mean ow!”
Jennifer Lawrence receives a standing ovation from the whole academy.
My children exclaim “Wow! Mom that didn’t look good.”
Jennifer Lawrence gets whisked away to the media room holding her beautiful golden Oscar with tears of joy in her eyes.
I get whisked away to the ER and try not to cry that really awful sobbing cry.
Jennifer Lawrence I imagine then goes to fabulous parties.
I go home to the sofa consoled by the comfort of an ice pack and fuzzy blanket.
Jennifer Lawrence (I’m assuming) goes to bed with some beautiful creature.
I go to bed with my dog who attempts to ram her paws into my back in the middle of the night.
Jennifer Lawrence is the winner!
I am really not comparing who had the worst fall it is obvious both of us had disastrous outcomes. I mean it must be terrible for Jennifer Lawrence to look beautiful under such pressure and survive such a calamity. I also know I can relate to how tough it is to get back up and dust yourself off after that last fall! Phew! It’s a lot of work!
I would also like to thank Ben Affleck for the inspiration for the last closing lines of this post.
Do you have a memorable fall? Was it as glamorous as Jennifer Lawrence’s?