I had one professor he was brilliant, soft-spoken, and knew how to challenge his students. It was with crippling fear not to have done your reading and be faced with the consequences because he loved to debate everything.
He would ask the question, “What did you think of Popper’s method? How did it change the way the social sciences are viewed?”
He would look at the victim scuffing their feet and looking to the floor avoiding any form of eye contact.
“Mike, how do you feel about this?”
Mike would wait a minute, look around, “Oh! Are you talking to me? Well, I guess in science it’s not always important to look at the ethical outcome when you are observing how humans make certain choices.”
It was at this moment everyone would hold their breath and knew Mike had been cornered like a lost sheep against wall with no escape from the wolf lurking in the bushes. You could hear the sound of the pen drop and Dr. M would reply, “So you don’t think a person’s choice value is not influenced by his ethical choices in life?”
He would then give Mike the look the look that would make him shrink into the chair and want to cease to exist. Dr. M would then carry on with his lesson.
It was just the other day I was talking with an acquaintance about her daughter’s grade one class. She was complaining about the school fees, the teacher, and then she made a comment about the loser girls.
My ears piqued up “Loser girls?”
“Well! Yeah! You know the girls! Never have their homework done, never pay attention in class, their parents always forget to send in the forms.”
I felt a slight anger under my belly and repeated slowly, “Loser Girls in grade 1?”
“Yes. They are they don’t do anything. And I don’t want to be paying extra fee when their parents don’t send in the money.”
I bit my tongue, and stayed rational as listened to the ridiculousness of it all, “Loser Girls? Really?”
And then I stared at her I gave her the look that Dr. M once had given Mike.
I raised my eyebrow and gave her a stink eye that said more than any words would ever say to challenge her frame of mind. Her eyes looked away from me as I watched her attempt to blend in with the walls.
Sometimes words don’t always have enough meaning to make a person stop and think what they are saying before they open their mouths. I would like to thank Dr. M for teaching me how maintain rationality when faced with obvious stupidity.
In life there is one commonality that most of us can agree on and that is no girl should ever be called a loser. We talk about the mean girls, the implications it causes in school, and how they can be hurtful to other children. It is parental attitudes such as this Mother which make these mean girls exist and it’s time to give these women a taste of their own medicine.
Do you believe some words aim to hurt? And are just not funny?
Sing it, sister! This post has really brought this point home. I agree–mothers like these serve as negative role models that in turn influence their children negatively. Children then start to parrot these mean words and thus, the vicious cycle begins. It’s heartbreaking, I tell you. I don’t know when we stopped teaching our children kindness, compassion, and generosity. Nana would say we have to go back to teaching core values and building our children’s character. STAT! Great post, lady!
It does seem to be vicious circle that needs to stop! We just need that right point in the wheel to say enough is enough. Compassion and kindness are fundamental characteristics we should be teaching our children not vicious words.
In answer to your questions: yes & yes. Loser Girls? What a dreadful thing to say. The phrase Loser Mom comes to mind.
It is dreadful and sometimes people need to think before they speak. All words have consequences and not everyone takes kindly to them.
Ugh. It is exactly that kind of parental attitude that breeds mean girls who, themselves, might fall into some folks’ definitions of “losing.”
It’s a very sad circle of viciousness that needs to be stopped and I am not sure why anyone would ever considerate it to be appropriate about a child.
The stink eye. It is totally appropriate in situations like this one. Thanks for saying it like it should be and reminding me of that term.
Kids learn this stuff from their parents. It wasn’t okay for these parents to act this way when they were 14, and it isn’t today, even if they didn’t keep up in the maturity parade.
It’s true! And I don’t understand why one think it was alright to say in the first place?
Some words should never be spoken out loud NO MATTER WHAT!!!
Words hurt!
Words hurt. Words are powerful. Words are used frequently to cause intentional hurt and pain. Words cause wounds that never heal, that are played over and over in your mind like a broken record reinforcing the negativity and pain.
And it’s not just girls who bear the brunt of those words but boys too. And the parents of those children. Maybe those parents are going through stuff they aren’t sharing. Maybe their kid is on a scholarship and they don’t have the extra money. Maybe they just freaking forgot. Or are working 3 jobs to pay for the school and don’t have much free time.
Like my Mamaw used to say – when you point your finger at someone, judging them, just remember you have 3 more pointing back at you.
I like your Mamaw – she sounds like my kind of lady!
words hurt… a lot.. and once they are said, no matter if someone says they are sorry afterwards, the hurt remains… Words can’t be taken back… I am shocked that this comment came from a mother… Loser Girls in grade 1? really????
I know! It is unbelievable! I was shocked too!
Nice – already labelled by Grade 1. Where do you go from there if you are already “a loser” ? I assume though the little girl did not hear this — but I would wonder how much of the teacher’s negative attitude emerges when she is dealing with the girl. That can’t be helpful either.
Although….I have to admit I am not quite as disturbed should the term be applied to her parents who apparently seem to be asleep on the job. Even still, perhaps a little positive encouragement to participate in their child’s education might be more effective, than just using hurtful words.
No one heard her utter it but me. Luckily, it was an acquaintance and not the teacher that labeled this girl.
I can’t believe it happens in first grade!
It’s amazing how some people talk these days.
Oh nooo.
I sympathize for the little girl. Her “adult” influence about others doesn’t seem to be in the right spot; this can never mean a well-rounded individual if she continues to be influenced like this.
I think it is fortunate the young girl never heard this but who knows what she hears…
I believe that even if we don’t think before we talk, we do often mean to hurt and sting with our words. I thikn very often we look for that open doorwar, that opportunity to say just what we mean to say. And many times when someone thinks they are just being funny, it is NOT, and it is just plain mean.
I think she was trying to be funny but it back fired. It’s just not cool.
The truly sad thing is how early these behaviors emerge. 1st grade??
They emerge early but the thing is we need to let kids be kids. It’s comments like this which only break their spirits and lead to mean girls.
The apple truly does not fall from the the tree.
Seems to me your acquaintance has some personal issues going on inside her and hopefully the “loser girls” never come in contact with this loser! Seriously, some parents need to be boxed away and sent to reform school. Some children actually come from homes with so much upheaval at home that they cannot perform as well as the lucky well stable children…but I guess there is NO excuses for loser children. ugh.
I know! It’s disgusting!