Monthly Archives: February 2012

One Hairy Ape and a Hot Tub

February 28, 2012 By in Hot Tub Experinces from Hell, Lecherous Creep, Mankini, Yeti Tags: , , , , , , , , , 65 Comments

On our last trip the kids wanted to take full advantage of the water slides at the hotel  after a long day of skiing. My husband was already nestled by the fire napping and the children had that pleading look in their eye – I wearily agreed to go. 

I looked at the quiet  hot tube next to the slide and it was calling my name in romantic whispers. It was exactly what I needed to soak my tired muscles and watch the kids jet down the slide.

It was just my luck to have my personal space  invaded very quickly by a hairy ape-man modeling a very tight mankini.

I moved a little further away from him as he was hogging my personal space, he moved a little closer to me, I moved a little further to the side, and he moved a little further to the side.

I rolled my eyes, and with that I felt his  furry leg brush up against me.

I let out a very loud impatient sigh and moved a little further away.

He moved closer to me and again I felt his  furry leg brush up against me!

It was with that I shot out of the tub and exclaimed “Good Grief!”

He grunted!

It was at that moment I realized someone failed to teach this ape the importance of hot tub etiquette! In the wise words of Patrick Swayze “This my dance space. This is your dance space.”  The same thing applies for the hot tub!

Have you ever had any hot tub experiences from hell?

Winter Tear Drops

February 27, 2012 By in seasonal depression, The White Witch, Winter Tear Drops Tags: , , , , , , , 55 Comments

The snows beauty is sudden as the white witch  leaves her furry  with impassable  drifts and the hint of frost seething through the air.  She has cast a cursed spell that toils with an ache in your heart and shivers you to the bone.  It is in the last days of winter  the longing for  change to  occur with a sudden jab as the snow falls heavily to the ground.

At these moments  longing sets in for something new, a change, and  a myriad of colors to make things better again.

The reawakening of crocus and tulips to lift the spirits making us want to dance and delight in the warm evenings of spring.

But the knowledge of the white witches spell only reminds you that days will slowly go by until that goodness arrives at the hands of father time.

A winter tear drop falls one by one slowly and steadily wondering when will this state of exhaustion be lifted with the welcoming of the sun.

The white witch has her way of twisting our emotions as we trudge through the drifts and shovel the wet snow. It is her wrath that we battle through the cold nights to revel in the warmth of spring.

One  last winter tear drop and then it will be done in the morning you can relish in the welcoming of the sun.

How do you escape the drudgery of winter?

Mag Power

February 23, 2012 By in Egg Cartoon, Egg defeats the spoon, Egg in a cup, Egg Love, Egg the Mag, Mag Power Tags: , , , , , , , 19 Comments

The last time we saw Mag the Egg  she was caught in the perilous clutches of the spoon!

Was she able to tap into her egg powers to defeat its ravenous ways?

Her egg powers were more than the spoon could resist!

It knew it was no match for Mag! And vowed never to tap another egg!

Bennie had watched in amazement as Mag defeated the gnarly spoon!

He felt more passion for her than his mustache!

Would she say yes to his advances? Or roll in the other direction?

Tune in Next Thursday to find out!

The Ghost by the Fire

February 22, 2012 By in Banff, ghosts, paranormal activity, Tunnel Mountain Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 87 Comments

On our last night in Banff I feel asleep to the crackling of the fire and the chatter of my little men. The fresh mountain air and the warmth of the fire has a calming effect – always lulling me into a deep relaxing slumber.

It was later in the night I felt a cool breeze against my back and I slowly awoke with a feeling that there was another presence in the room.

My eyes slowly began to open, my vision was blurry, and that is when I saw him!

It was a grey outline of tall man with a page-boy cap, smoking in his pipe, relaxing in a chair, and staring directly at us.

My heart gave a heavy thud, I rolled over to tap my husband on the back, and I exclaimed, “Honey! There is someone in our room! There is a man in our room!”

My husband rolled over, “What?”

“A man in our room!”

My husband sat upright and looked, “What are you talking about?”

“The man!”

“There is no man! Go back to sleep!”

“He looked like a prospector! A settler?”

“It was a dream! Go Back to sleep!”

It was with that my husband gruffly rolled back onto his side of the bed cranky by the sudden stir from his sleep. I peered at the chair and it was empty! I shut my eyes and opened them again. The chair to my dismay and delight was still empty!

As I closed my eyes attempting to lull myself back to sleep I heard  the train whistle blow through the cold  mountains.  It was with that I knew our late night visitor was indeed a  lost soul stopping in to warm up by the fire before catching the last train to his final destination.

Have you ever felt an unusual presence at an inn or a hotel? Did anything go bump in the night?

The Weird Sisters: What is in a Name?

February 20, 2012 By in BHBC, BlogHer Book Club, Book Review, Eleanor Brown, fiction, The Weird Sisters Tags: , , , , , 46 Comments

Eleanor Brown weaves a tale that would make the bard proud in The Weird Sisters. It is a novel about the struggles of coming home, hiding secrets, facing disappointments, and finding a little piece of yourself which may have been lost from the treasured moments of childhood.

Rose, Bean, and Cordelia each have a name to live up too. “We wear our names heavily. And though we have tried to escape their influence, they have seeped into us, and we find ourselves living their patterns again and again.” It is the  patterns of their name which they try to break free of in order move forward in their life.  

As a child growing up I remember reading the meaning of each of my sisters names the oldest meaning Pure Maiden, the middle Little Princess, and by the time I came along I was named the Dark One.

I have always been in awe of my oldest sisters always graceful, elegant, and smart. They each followed their own life paths which have led them great successes.  I was always sauntering behind to catch-up…

As the dark one it is with this  I could relate more  to the youngest sibling Cordelia’s bohemian qualities the need to escape to travel and life the on the road. It was away to distinguish herself in her own right and stumble upon many more of her own quirky foibles.

One of the many things that I loved about this novel is sometimes it is okay to let our guard down and share our deepest secrets with the ones that already know us best.  The Weird Sisters capture the awkward family dynamics, the strength in sisterhood, and the ability to rediscover yourself. It is a truly worth while read which will have you laughing and crying through some of their many challenging moments.

Does your name have meaning? Have you ever questioned your parents judgement in your name? Also  check out more about The Weird Sisters at BlogHer Book Club and join in on the  lively discussions!

This was a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.


A Lesson in Tumbling

February 15, 2012 By in Banff, Downhill Skiing, falling down, Lake Louise, The Kindness of Strangers Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 46 Comments

This past weekend my family and I headed to Lake Louise to beat the winter doldrums.  We loaded up the skis in the car and were ready to hit the slopes!  The first day was perfect as the sun warmed us and the trails were wide open!  

It was the end of the day without any warning my skis went out from under me and I tumbled like a drunken elephant. My feet hit the air, one pole swinging away with gusto, and the other gone with the wind. I put my hands in the front of me to protect my face from the sudden impact.

I felt a sharp pain as my thumb drilled a hole into the mountain! And  at that moment I asserted several expletives which could be heard within miles.

As my children watched from below I knew I had to show them that no matter how hard you fall you have to get back-up.  It has always been my job to ski behind the troop, to pick up whoever falls, and coax them on their feet again. I could not fail and pulled myself up with my one pole.

The next day  my bruised body was ready to take – on the back of the mountain!  It was on the second run an inexperienced  snowboarder brushed-up from behind me! Down, I went on steep part of the slope with a sudden thud, my ankle throbbed, and my knees where not agreeing to get back – up.

As I sat on the side of the mountain trying to pull myself up for several minutes – people skied by not giving me a second glance. I attempted to focus,  ski tips pointing up towards the mountain, push-up on poles ,and I would fall back down.

I knew crying was not an option and I had to get up!

It was at that moment  an angel appeared, he gave me his arm, and with a deep sense of relief I was able to get back on my feet.

As I got back on my feet I profusely thanked him, ” You truly are an angel.”

His face blushed a little and he made sure I caught up with my family.

I slowly skied down the rest of the mountain – my husband protectively hovered in the back  in the off-chance that I might fall again.

The mountains have away of  teaching us a lesson when we least expect it and sometimes it involves a tumble. The Good Samaritan that skied to my rescue reminds me that sometimes we can rely on the kindness of strangers to help us get on our feet again.

Have you ever relied on the kindness of a stranger?

A Valentine’s Day Wish

February 13, 2012 By in love, Valentine's Day Present, Valentine's Wish, valentines day Tags: , , , , , , , , , 48 Comments

As I watch my children write their valentines  one by one for their classmates – it makes me wish I could give a valentine to each of you and attached to it would be one heart – shaped chocolate.

It would be my thanks to you for brightening my day with your visits, comments, and tolerating my humor.   It is your comments that add a twinkle to my eye and  create a very fond smile. 

So this Valentines Day I would like to say thank you for brightening my day!

My biggest wish for  all of you on this Valentine’s is the gift of time for yourself!  As I read many of your posts some seem that you are on an endless journey tied to the schedule of others and running circles to get things done.

It is my wish that you take a small break for yourself perhaps a bubble bath with the sounds of Leonard Cohen in the background, enjoying the solitude of your morning walk, or just a quiet moment with your cup of coffee.

The greatest gift we can give ourselves is a small moment of time in order rejuvenate and feel more refreshed for the ones we love in our lives.

So I hope you take the time to find a little love for yourself on this Valentine’s Day because you deserve it for all that you do!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the beautiful bloggers that brighten my world! I wish you nothing but sweet, sweet, sweet love!

What will be your special moment this Valentine’s Day?

Va-Va-Voom! What is Your Stripper Move?

February 9, 2012 By in Dance Moves, Shake it! Baby! Shake it!, Stripper Moves, stripper music, tawny kitaen, The Seduction of Dance, va-va-voom, valentines day, valentines day gifts Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 48 Comments

Dance is a seductive art form that can  hypnotize a man with a sway of a hip or a lift of the leg! It is the siren call to your mate for intimacy, lust, and seduction. The closeness, the peeling of clothes, and the slip of the foot. It with that the stiletto smacks your lover straight in the eye.

Oops! Maybe that kick shouldn’t have been so high! And with that a trip to the emergency room is all you will be celebrating this Valentine’s day.

It with that startling daydream I wondered  could the right music and look turn anyone into a glittery stripper?

Only through the decades have we seen a shift in musical taste from burlesque moves to stripper poles. All of these carefree forms of art -  one must be right for me:

  •  The  art of burlesque to the sounds Let Me Entertain You with the tease of the hips and the flaunt of the feather boa
  • The invention of the go-go girl to These Boots Are Made for Walking  practicing the shimmy of the chest
  • The inner rock star shines with I Want You to Want Me strutting in a pleather skirt and crawling across the corvette like Tawny Kitaen
  •  The  sound of  Toxic  brings me to hanging upside down from the stripper pole with the hopes of not falling on my head
  •  Maybe the shake of rump to the sounds Milkshake because yes it always brings those bad boys to the yard

As I went to through the list I realized one thing that all of those moves would be deadly for me! They would all involve me falling off of something or losing something and injuring my inner thigh. I would disappoint the union of glittery strippers worldwide!

So maybe the most subtle gesture to intimacy is a case of beer and a pepperoni pizza! Now that is the ticket to adding a little spice on this valentines day! And for good measure I might just belch the alphabet with my hair down.

How do you work your va-va-voom? Do you have a classic stripper move?

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