My family was never one for hugging it was one of those awkward signs of affection. It’s not that we didn’t love each other it’s just that we never hugged. In an odd way, the only people in my life that I hug is my children, my husband, and the odd farewell hug to my much-loved Mother. 
It was the other day I faced two well-meaning hugging scenarios which I returned with awkward grace. The first was an acquaintance I hadn’t seen for a while dove into greet me with a hug. I mustered the best I could – I was frazzled, I went spastic, jumped away, recovered with a smile, moving forward with the conversation.
My husband was in the distance chuckling at the scenario. As I walked towards him “I know! She hugged me!”
He chuckled again…
The next day I met my cousin whom I haven’t seen for over fifteen years. He was a young sappy sprout who has decided to travel across the country to discover his freedom and find himself. We chatted over breakfast, got the scoop on the whole family, and listened to his future dreams.
As I dropped him off to his next destination he dove in to give me a farewell hug. I dove away! The best I could muster was a punch in the arm, “Go get them slugger! I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip!”
So I ask are you a hugger? Do you return the hug? Or do you find it an invasion of your personal space?
I’m not a hugger. I feel so self-conscious when I do. The huggee must know.
They must or they are just bad at reading body language
I’m a hugger! But I don’t tend to hug people who I consider acquaintances rather than friends, so I can understand why it may have been awkward to hug your estranged cousin – I would find that a bit odd, too. But I do appreciate it when someone gives a warm, well-meaning hug. It’s nice!
I have to say though, as a ‘hugger’ I hate coming across a friend who just doesn’t like to hug – you can feel their awkwardness and it makes the whole thing feel much less friendly! My sister hates hugging so she’s never very good at receiving my affections
It is nice to give well-meaning hugs and receive them. However, I would be that friend you would hate to hug
I agree with you, you can definitely tell when there is the “awkwardness”… I, personally, am an introvert and like my personal space but I also love a good hug from a friend or significant other (only from the opposite sex though). Guys do the shoulder bump which is better than a handshake imo. I think it’s odd to hug family members regularly unless you are going somewhere for an extended stay or are visiting. I think all in all people should understand that you can’t just jump in and hug anyone and everyone like you’ve been friends forever, you’ve gotta judge the situation.
This might sound a bit pissy, but for the most part, i only hug those people in my life who “deserve” it. Hugging just anybody makes me feel quite uncomfortable.
Which i suppose is odd, considering how touchy-feely i can be to those who are “deserving”…
Nop! Not odd at all! I think we have our tribe that we are comfortable to hug
I’m kind of a born-again hugger
We’re not really touchy-feely people in my family, either, but I have a growing group of long-time friends and dear acquaintances that are great for a good squeeze. It’s kinda therapeutic, really!
Have you ever read Douglas Coupland’s J-Pod? There’s a hilarious chapter on the development of The Hug Machine for nerds who averse to human contact (a concept that came up again in Big Bang Theory last season!). You’re not alone, my friend
Chuckles! I need to watch that episode that may be me
Hugging if done for loving and altruistic reasons is very therapeutic. I agree! But I know some people are hypersensitive to touch and may not find it enjoyable. Also you wouldn’t want some lech of an uncle hugging on you if they have wrong intentions. Or if someone is sick with a virus. But the average person I know is usually a good friend and I genuinely love them, so I hug them! Sorry, I am a hugger! lol I agree with DesiValentine
I am a hugger, but I am selective…..if that makes any sense….
Makes definite sense to me
I co-sign here Hilary. I have a thing about my personal space, and hugging folk I am not familiar with or not in my hug cipher.. It is an energy matter too.
I don’t think you are off Belle, you are simply, well, You.
I’m the same way.
I am a hugger of those I love and know well. After that there is a swift dropin physical contact. I don’t like air kisses and other showy greetings. All in in, not unlike you possibly
Hahaha! I am the same! I like how you describe it as a “swift drop in physical contact.”
I’m a hugger for sure — if it’s FEMALE close family or my kids. Men tend to get hurt. — I used to work in a machine shop and then in telecom and there were some really sleezy guys who would give me sideways hugs just to cop a feel… so… I’m really picky about the men I let touch me today. People probably think I’m weird. No, not probably… they just flat out do when it comes to that. Even my GYN thinks I’m high strung. LOL
Funniest incidental hug story though — I was at opening chapel for my boys grade school and as we were leaving the pastor grabbed me to hug me. UHM.. that poor man. I was studying Tai Chi and Shaolin at the time and in a blink of an eye I’d circled my arms, came up through the middle, broke the hug, and pushed him away. His wife thinks that is hilarious because “my gosh he hugs everybody and he needs to learn not to just grab people.” — he learned.
We’re friends now, and I will hug him today — but you really have to earn that right with me too. Great post.
Chuckles! Those poor men
Oh gosh I am the same!
I will hug any female, kiddies or family member that comes my way. But men I steer clear of, I have just got sick of the side boob touch. Some have perfected it to a brush past so you are wondering whether you imagined it. I just dont go there anymore to save my anger, any offence and to preserve everyone’s dignity.
I live in France now and there is ALOT of cheek kissing which I do to everyone. And sometimes people do freak out from hugs. I have actually had to learn distancing my self with people. Which has been hard. I wrote about that here http://inbetweencountries.wordpress.com/2011/11/09/loosing-my-zing-and-the-human-touch/
Otherwise on a happier not I ask for hugs now. I saw a friends mum and asked her for a hug. She felt so much like my mum I burst into tears. But I got a hug!
My parents were not into hugging, but I’m inclined to hug, and with marriage, with children, hugs became part of life. Particularly post transition I hug, but I recognise others may not. If one doesn’t know, is always good to ask before proceeding.
I had a very intense dream a year or two after my dad died of him trying to hug me. He never had in life.
A Beautiful dream! It must of been nice to feel the warmth
My parents were not big huggers. My Mom’s special way of making up after a big fight was always with feeding me desserts or take – out
Desserts are good!
Dad never got to me in the dream; he was trying desperately to do so.
Yes, definitely, I like a hug from the people I know and love. Strangers, not so much. When someone is hurting, giving them a gentle, “I don’t know what to say but I’m sorry you’re hurting” hug is one of the best ways I know to tell that person you are “with” them. I can understand why others don’t feel that way though.
Nancy
It is nice to give a gentle hug to someone is hurting because sometimes no words can soften the pain.
I’m open to hugs from acquaintances and like to give to friends.
I agree… Sometimes a hug is a way to let someone know that you’re hurting with/for them.
I hate it when people I don’t know well go for the hug. Also don’t like it when business acquaintances do it. Particularly if they are Canadian and try the Euro kiss kiss.
Hahaha! I don’t know what I would do if someone dove in with a Euro Kiss :O
My family doesn’t really hug either, except my brother Andrew and I hug when we get to see each other about twice a year. He gives me bear hugs.
I hug all my friends hello and goodbye pretty much, and even people I’ve just met that day I usually give them a hug at the end of it if they’re a friend of a friend. I mostly hug people around my same age, though I’ve been tempted to want to hug some of the older people in my toastmasters group after some of my speeches. 
I had to restrain, haha. So I suppose that makes me a hugger. 
Chuckles! I think it’s good to be a hugger it keeps you in touch with your emotions!
I’m a hugger. But only with people I’m really comfortable with. Usually when someone hugs me that I’m not that comfortable with, They get a half hug with a pat. Beware the pat.
Haha! No punch to the arm? Mush more affectionate than a pat ;O
Hugs – you bet. Although my family wasn’t that affection physically, we all hug now. It’s so much more meaningful after the death of my mother that we stay connected every way we can. My father has always liked to kiss – blech! So did his mom, double blech! It’s ironic because I have no problem planting one on my best friend’s cheek (and receiving in return). Paging Dr. Freud…
Chuckles! I wonder what would Freud would say? Speaking of which I wonder how comfy was his couch. I probably would be hypnotized and fall into a very deep sleep thus avoiding studying my emotions and feelings from childhood :O
Ha. I used to be a classic Irish Catholic puncher-in-response-to-huggers. Then after spending some time in the hot sunny south, I learned the politeness necessary to endure a forced hug and respond with a sweet smile. I don’t slug huggers anymore- but I still find it shocking when someone greets me with one with no warning. -kate
Chuckles! It is a little off settling the no warning hug…I never know what to do!
Awkward hugs (and the huggers who give them) are the WORST. My least favorite version is the “chest dive.” I’m 6 feet tall, so I find that many people almost burrow into my chest as I stand there, stiff and alarmed!
Fun post…
I am envisioning the chest dive! I’m laughing so hard! It must be awful! Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment
The friends I’ve made in the last 5-6 years have taught me to become more of a hugger, which I think does help bring you closer to people. It’s not uncommon among my group of friends to be introduced to someone and instead of shaking their hand, you hug them (although more common is hugging someone when you’re saying goodbye, even if you just met them). It felt awkward to me for awhile, but it’s really grown me.
I have one friend who hates hugs more than me. I always get her when least expects it! As a non-hugger I know how much fun it is to torment them! However, I am learning to hug one step at a time…
Not a hugger. Once, years ago, a business “colleague” came up behind me and slipped his arm around my waist in a most inappropriate way. I whipped my head around to see who it was, and he said “Were you looking to see who was hugging you?” Without a thought, I replied “I was looking to see if I needed to call my lawyer!” He never tried a sneak hug again. I’m a fairly tall woman, and hugging tiny little people – which is just about everyone else – just feels too wierd (unless it’s a good long squeeze from my favorite niece!).
I love your comeback! I was I that quick to the draw
I’m a big hugger with family and friends, but not so much with people I don’t know as well. I do come from a family of huggers though. With me, it always depends on the situation – someone I meet for the first time at a party will not necessarily get a hug hello, but if we chat over the evening and I get to know her, she will likely leave with one. I’ve also been told that I’m a good hugger, and have been asked for a hug by strangers.
A good hugger must make all of the difference! I’m so awkward it never turns out right…
Hugging is a habit you can get into and so easily fall out of. I reckon it’s probably good for us all – personal space invasion or no. The human contact of a hug is probably basic to humankind – not only for fisking for weapons!
Thanks for setting me off thinking about this
I love your point! Sometimes a hug can mean the world of difference! Imagine if we chose to hug instead of pick-up a weapon it could mean a huge world of difference
After years of doing anything to avoid giving people hugs or giving awkward hugs from the side I am now finally able to give a decent hug. I still don’t enjoy it unless it is someone I care about though!
I think a connection with a person makes a huge difference but sometimes I can be awkward….
Winona and I can’t get through our day without a few spontaneous hugs.
Sometimes it`s nice just for a hug especially from someone close
It depends on who I’m hugging…or being hugged by. Friends and family are fine, but if you’re just walking down a corridor and some strange person practically jumps on you then it can be a little unnerving…
I would probably scream
I’m not really a hugger. My family was never a hugger family. Yet, my friends are huggers and it freaks me out!
Great post.
Thank you! I do have some friends who are huggers and I swear I`m getting better at it…
Not a hugger. I have big time personal space issues. Unlike you, I don’t dive away, I just stand there with this “Touch me and die” look on my face. It’s very off putting, yet extremely effective. I must say, I will hug my children and husband to death if they’d let me though.
I do hug my children and husband to death – they give the best hugs. I don`t think my face is as un-nerving people still hug
I used to be — got away from it, though.
Do you think you would start again?
Not likely. It seems I’ve been a Sherlock Holmes in disguise as a Dr. Watson for most of my life, and Sherlock doesn’t want to go back into the shell.
I should qualify that by saying that I don’t mind hugging family. But basically, if we don’t have some DNA in common, then no.
HUUUUUUUUUUGS!
It’s not my natural tendency, but I do love them and want to become a better hugger.
I guess we should all strive to be better huggers
I am a hugger. I am not sure if it is nature or nurture. But growing up I really had no choice . . . my family are huggers and my church was full of huggers. Hugs are pretty nice too. So, yes, my name is Southern Girl and I am a hugger.
Great blog.
Thank you! I wonder if it something you are predisposed to? Maybe it starts early? Is that why I’m so awkward now? I wonder if Freud has any answers…
One more selective hugger here! There is nothing worse than a “false” hug. You are not that close but the person wants to hug you to mark some kind of closeness that is just not there. *Shiver…
I try never to give a false hug! It’s just the unsuspected that gives me a stir…It’s that eek moment of affection! Does that make sense?
I am a hugger from a huggie family. My husband is from a less huggie family. Big family events always contain many awkward moments as my hug a lots try to hug the hug me nots!! Much an all as I love a hug – never offend me with a falsie…ugh.
I’m super sensitive and pick up vibes from others so I’m not a hugger. And I wish people would ask me first if they can hug me without assuming that I don’t mind. I do mind. I don’t like carrying other people’s energy with me all day.
Am a huger wanna be. Am starting out slow, you know hugging trees, a dog; things that basically can’t run away. My ‘best of friend’ is huger. On-line she hugs and hugs and hugs, never letting go. I tell her am more into ‘hug-less hugs’ of the food kind. A ‘hug-less hug’ is , “here’s a apple pie, I baked it special for you’.
First time dropping here. I will be sure to drop in again.
It’s funny I always send hugs online! I’m less awkward that way
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and I look forward to seeing more of you!
It’s funny my friend told me some exciting news the other day and I looked at her “Can I hug you?” She gave me an odd look like why would you even ask…:)
I would consider myself a reformed non-hugger. I am beginning to become more of a hugger, which is a language my non-verbal communication used to not speak,It can definitely be a bit weird now with people that I haven’t hugged. In my new found hugging freedom, I forget that me and that person do not have a hug relationship which can result in some pretty awkward moments.
For the most part, I only hug people I know well In my opinion, if I don’t know your first name, last name and birthday, we don’t need to embrace. It makes a warm gesture feel too much like an invasion of privacy.
I also have read many articles that encourage the power of touch – kisses, hugs, etc, – apparently it’s beneficial to life and health… which is an encouragement for me to extend myself (literally) outside of my comfort zone to give and receive more hugs. Plus,I think it’s nice to be closer to loved ones!
Thank you for your comments! The power of touch and laughter can make such a difference in a persons spirit.
I’m a hugger when the other person is attractive and smells nice. Otherwise, no way.
This cracked me up!
i agree with you natasiarose!
Hahaha! That is one way to look at it
I’m a hugger!
I’ll even hug strangers. Actually, I’m just a touchy-feely person in general. Free hugs! Ha
Yes! That’s how I am.
Love it! That’s very funny! Why do you think some people are polar opposites when it comes to hugging?
I’m not really sure, but my best guess would be that’s it’s just a matter of personal preference.
I think we have to be selective sometimes
That’s funny. Reminds me of an episode of “Frasier” when he confronts his aversion to hugging
I love Frasier! I will have to look that episode up! Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
I’m definitely a hugger and married into a hugging family. I try to respect non-huggers though and I’m not one to hug a complete stranger. But if you’re a good friend, beloved family member, or someone I really care about, watch out!
A hug can brighten my day like nothing else!
I think it is very different when you have a bond or emotional connection with others. I hug my family very often sometimes it provides warmth on those very cold days.
I’m totally a hugger. I hug everyone, and I hug them all the time! They make me happy.
I’m glad it makes you happy! I wish I was as comfortable with the hug as you
Yes, I do hugs. Getting worse as I get older too. Maybe a lurking worry that there’s not enough hugging time left…
I hope you have many years of hugging time!
I find so much comfort in hugs, especially when they come from someone I really care about. I’m big on affection, and I feel like I need it in order to survive. I usually won’t be the first to initiate a hug, though, just because I understand that some people really don’t like it. One of the best feelings in the world is getting a hug from one of your favorite people; you can actually feel the love. So good.
It is wonderful to receive a hug from the special someone – it is very rare that I will dive into give someone a hug. Maybe I’m just a little emotionally disconnected?
I’m definitely a hugger, but with people who I’m close to. It feels weird when someone I don’t know so well goes in for a hug, but with family and close friends, I’m all for hugs!
It is a little unfamiliar to hug someone you don’t really know…
Yeah, I’m a hugger and a touchy-feelie person. I’ll try not to freak you out if we ever meet. LOL!
LOL! I will remember that
I’m not a hugger either. But, while I don’t initiate the hugs, I try to reciprocate if there’s no alternative…
Hahaha! Really there is no alternative
I think it depends on situation. I’m a hugger to those I know well and feel close to. I find it awkward when people I’ve just met or don’t know very well try to hug me.
I know! I always feel really out of sorts! Just very disconnected and then the hug turns into this weird discobobulation!
I’m a hugger, big time, but I don’t hug people I meet for the first time, usually. That’s wierd to ME. I don’t get in other people’s personal space if I don’t know them. I read their cues. If I feel they’re going to hug me, or I have an unusually close connection with them, then I might, but i love hugging people close to me.
Hugs are wonderful from people we are close too! It is hard when you just meet someone and they dive in for the farewell hug. I guess it is there kind of gesture of wanting to connect more with you.
Awesome post! It put a smile on my face…because me and my family are big “huggers” and notice that being comfortable with hugging is a cultural thing.
Thank you! I bet you come from a very warm family full of beaming personalities
nice, you made me smile thank u
Thank you! I’m glad to have brightened your day
I find it easier to hug friends than family, it’s odd really. I wasn’t bought up in a “hugging household” and I think it signals either a really serious moment or a sad situation in our house if hugs are passed around. Whereas with friends, it’s always been something as a greeting, light-hearted, not really meaning anything too grave!
I love a good hug though, really do. They’re medication.
It’s the same in my family! It is odd when hugs are passed around for no reason. It is a nice way to greet close friends or bid adieu. I guess it is attempting to read the right social cues
I used to avoid those particular friends in the halls in high school because they were “huggers.”
There are appropriate times to hug. After not seeing your best friend for a year, saying goodbye to someone, comforting someone, etc.
Meeting your friends for lunch or a chat in the hallway like you do everyday? No.
*cringe*
Thank you for your comments. I have those cringe moments to and it’s nice to know I’m not alone
I’m a hugger. I guess like most of the people who claim to be “huggers,” I am a conditional hugger. I don’t hug EVERYONE. There are some people I avoid hugging! Maybe I’m not such a hugger after all…
I like the sounds of that a “conditional hugger” perhaps that is what my classification is…
I’m a serious hugger:) I hug enought to squeeze someone’s insides out. At least, that’s what people tell me.
Now that is what you call a bear hug!
Great post. I was thinking about this subject just today, because I require lots of personal space but my son is super touchy feely and always hanging on me. It’s okay now because he’s seven, but I hear from other touchy people that they still like to sit in their moms’ laps in their 20s, 30s…. so I guess I have that to look forward to. In communications class in college the teacher told us that it bothers people who like closeness just as much that someone wants them to stay back as it bothers people like me when they don’t keep their distance, but I don’t see how that’s possible. Anyway, great to see the word getting out there that you might not want to grab and hug everyone you know, cause they might get the heebie jeebies. Takes all kinds.
Thank you for taking the time to comment! I don’t know if I want my children sitting on my lap when they are in their thirties. I think it would slightly off…
I take cues from the other person. I try to “feel” the comfort level of him/her before approaching for a hug. If the other person initiates the hug I will return it without fuss. I don’t think it’s a big deal.
How about kisses????\
Ronnie
Hahaha! Kisses are reserved only for my husband and children
I’m definitely a hugger.
Great post! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
I AGREE WITH PALM TREES & BARE FEET!!
Thank you!
I think I am a hug-slug, I’ll hug anybody as long as they aren’t smelly and gross. Maybe I need to up my standards…
Hahaha! I think you have very good standards! Smelly and gross are never good
im definetly a hugger but i am funny about people touching me particularly really lighlty on the top of my arm im not sure why it just makes me react badly so i completly understand why some people wouldnt want to be hugged
I love to hug the people I love or those moments we are conditioned for…
I never was a hugger – even hated hugs from my family, growing up.
The odd thing was, I basically learned to hug on the internet – at one message board that I consider my online home, there was a lot of *hugging* going on… first time I volunarily hugged someone IRL, I was thinking, “well, if this were online, I’d be writing “*hugs*” now”…
I still don’t hug often, but I feel much less awkward about returning hugs. And the people from that message board? When I meet them (about once a year), of course I hug them!
I use to not be a hugger, but now I love them!! Its something about being welcomed makes me feel good!! ::) HUG FOR U!! XXXX
I am very good at giving hugs online
Sometimes when I read a post I feel a connection or want to console them. It is a good time to share a hug 
Definitely an immediate-family-only hugger. Anyone outside of my husband, kids and their families gets the stink-eye from me. Who goes in for the big squeeze without permission? Especially in the workplace! What has become of this world when co-workers think they can hug each other willy-nilly?? “Oh, we finished a big project. Let’s hug.” “Gosh, glad that misunderstanding was cleared up. Let’s hug.” Eeeesh!
Hahaha! That’s too funny! Sometimes people just need a hug
I’m kind of a tweener. When you grow up without the hugs, its not as easy to acquire the comfort with them. Cuddling with someone I love is one thing, but It kind of freaks me out a little when people I’m not close with get too huggy. Worse than the discomfort is if they are wearing something scented that lingers on me afterward. Huggers should also be aware that some people have very real aphehobia, and an unsolicited hug can be traumatic.
I have never heard of that before – I’m going to goggle it! Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!
You’ll probably want to avoid my typo.
It’s just the fear of being touched.
Over the years I have embraced hugging. However, with that being said if I have not seen someone in a while or just a casual encounter with someone I know I would rather have them ask than just dive right in and invade my personal space. I have a harder time with someone touching my shoulder and leaving their hand for longer than acceptable – that to me feels like a total invasion of my personal space.
I do enjoy my personal space the other issue I have is close talkers…What is that all about?
I love hugs!! Something about a hug makes you appreciate life and share love with others. To me, it doesnt matter if your a close friend or aquintance, as love as you have a loving spirit deep within Im HUGGING away!!
I like your perspective! Hugs do provide a special warmth!
Honey, I will take all the hugs and kisses I can get! Something I have observed by residing in the Europe’s Dreilandereck(Germany, France, Switzerland)…The French kiss three, sometimes four pecks or motioned pecks on both cheeks…(if acquainted), if newly acquainted, still four pecks on both cheeks…if unacquainted, a handshake…. Germans(if acquainted, two pecks, sometimes a hug…if newly acquainted, a rocketed out hand shake… The Swiss, two pecks, (if acquainted), if unacquainted, or newly acquainted, a stiff handshake… The Italians(South Italy), a bear hug and peck (if acquainted)…If unacquainted, a greeting CIAO BELLA!!!
On a more spiritual note, I attended a Bible Study class in Switzerland this morning. One lady was in serious emotional pain. Without thinking, I rose from my chair, embraced her head with my palm and sang to her a gospel song..In turn, other women in the room stroked her…with an embrace, a hug, an understanding touch..Magic….
The picture you painted with your words just sounded beautiful. Sometimes the special hug does help to ease the pain if it is even only for a minute. Thank you for your comments
As I’ve found words sometime interfer with communication, I prefer the language of the body. I just trust it more somehow. But that’s just me. I wouldn’t throw my arms around someone who didn’t feel similarly. Interestingly, I just saw a great Ted Talk on hugging, and how it releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, the same one mother’s are full of when they’re breastfeeding their babies and the same one responsibible for people falling in love. Have you all heard of Temple Grandin? She’s an autistic woman, and has been credited for developing a squeezing machine for cattle before they are slaughtered, apparently hugging the cows makes their meat taste better. Odd ?
Very odd. I never would have thought of that…
If people are listening to the situation, they will know. This came up in a conversation two days ago for me – isn’t it amazing how there is this invisible energy force that tells us who we can hug and who cannot. However, it does improve your health if you touch more people on a regular basis. Sometimes if one doesn’t have it, one can be prone to neuroses.
Maybe I have some weird neuroses. I do hug conditionally with close family and friends
I wish my family were the hugging type! But I hug with a style. You know it’s not manly in africa to hug or display emtions in public! But among a selected group of my friends we hug as a clique-thing, no display emotions or affections
That is a good thing! Close friends deserve hugs and I think it is manly
I am a hugger. It is a warm act. I love easily, too. I hug family and friends. Even the reluctant succcumb to my hugging magnetism.
Diving out! Wow that is seriously touch phobic.
Get your hug on girl
I’m working on it
I had a t shirt in college that said “dont hug me” with the cartoon of a menacing looking octopus in the center. I guess that would make me not a hugger?
Hahaha! I want that shirt!
It’s so funny how I happened to see your post today on hugging. The past couple days, I have been contemplating on whether or not I should become a hugger. Like yours, my family has never been touchy feely and I was in for a surprise when my best friend from high school turned out to be the biggest hugger I’ve ever met! It’s nice to get a hug, it’s nice to return a hug, but I’m still uncertain about initiating it just because I feel like the other person would be uncomfortable.
I envy those people who have that warm and fuzzy kind of feel in the way they do things and can hug people with such ease!
Thank you for your post!
Thank you for taking the time to comment! Sometimes it is hard to initiate the hug and read social cues. I wish had the ease as well
FREE HUGS for any new followers
hehe
LOL! I will have to stop by and check you out! Don’t worry about the hugs
I am a major hugger, as is one of my children. When my children were small the two older ones were huggers, but the youngest took after my husband. They both see hugging as a sensory attack. It is very hard for me when she is hurting from a job or emotional loss, not to hug her, but I know she will back away in fear. So I tell her I am hugging her with words, which helps. And then I go find my cats, who love to be hugged to get my fix
I hug both my children and would find it very hard not too especially when they are in any form of pain.
From a man’s point of view:
http://beyondthefaceoffacebook.wordpress.com/2011/11/04/man-up/
My family is just like yours- we have never been a touchy-feely type of people. I don’t mind hugging people….lol…. but I have to say, I don’t ever initiate it….
It’s the social cue thing… Maybe I just over think it
I’m definitely a hugger but sadly my family isn’t so it bugs them when i do it
oh well we can’t always get everything that we want!
LOL! Very true!
I don’t think you’ve been hugged properly.
Hugs are beneficial to all involved when sincere and given with warmth.
How about about air kisses to either cheeks from girls in posh jumpers where they grab your arms pulling and pushing you at the same time in perfect cognitive dissonance.
Hugs not drugs sister.
XXX…and one appropriate OXO
You just made me laugh out loud! I actually had a lions club teddy bear that said the exact thing “Try Hugs not Drugs.”
I appear to be the opposite to you. My direct family (mother and father) don’t do hugs and never have done. Instead of carrying on as they did though and adopting this no hug attitude, I have somehow turned into a bit of a, what I like to call, hug monster.
I am likely your worst nightmare. One of those people who will not let go until you give me a proper hug and don’t just pat me lightly on the back.
I understand why some people don’t like hugs, the whole personal bubble thing, but I just can’t get enough of them.
I need to step out of my personal bubble! I feel like I might be missing out on these wonderful connections! I say embrace your inner hug monster
Golden rule
(For guys)
Blood gets a hug
Friends get a shoulder
Lovers get a kiss
Strangers get a Whazzup
Cheers
-Ron
http://www.learntobeatmatch.ca
I love this! Perfectly said.
so that’s the rule, huh? man, do I mess up every-time. darn it – no hugs for the bloodless? : )
Whazzup!? I like it!
Pingback: On Hugging | Moving On Up a Little Higher
I was not born into a huggy family, so I used to be awkward. In general I am a receiver – not a giver of hugs. I have learned to accept hugs – but for a good hug back I need to know you some….
I feel the same way
I consider myself an active hugger. However, I dont hug just anyone, only those I can comfortably embrace for longer than .02 seconds.
I have to remember that .o2 seconds sound like the proper amount of time
I’m not a big hugger. I prefer not to, but I will reciprocate when friends hug me. I have a few friends who’ve come out and said, “I’m not a hugger.” I’m always relieved. We promise not to hug each other – ever. And then laugh about it. Our friendship is perfectly find without hugs.
Sounds like the perfect friendship!
To some extent I think hugs are invading my personal space. But I give my girlfriend a hug and my children every day.
I think those are the most important people to hug
I was raised in a family that never hugged or even said “I love you,” so I wasn’t comfortable with it most of my life. I am getting better and am now a ‘selective’ hugger…kids, grandkids, siblings (finally), some cousins and a few selective ‘specials.’
It’s easier as you get older…maybe because I realize life is too short to not let those we care about know it…even, as mentioned above, if it’s just for .02 seconds.
I like the term selective hugger – I feel the same way
Thank you for your comments 
It depends. Some people I care for so deeply that I have to hug them. I want to, can’t help it, need to. Others I get that urge, but am uncomfortable around them so I don’t. I think I am naturally, selectively, affectionate . . . If that makes any sense at all. But i do love a good hug. :0)
It makes perfect sense we have to be comfortable with the ones we hug. We are only human
Definitely a hugger, I hug everyone, especially those I know arent really into hugging, I think people have a big issues with personal space, which i compltely respect! I wouldnt hug someone I felt would genuinely not enjoy it or despise me for it, but hugging makes people feel good…more or less.. im one of those people you see holding a sign that says FREE HUGS
greats post!
Thank you! Free hugs are always good! Imagine how peaceful our world would be if we were all as open to a good hug
Hug or non-hug, I never fail to make it awkward…
Me too!
I have hugged or been hugged all my life. It comes natural to me, and I am not a Baptist. That has nothing to do with this, I know, but sometimes we think everything is right some places, and difficult other places. My church is small, and we are growing. We have a part of the service where everyone greets everyone. We used to have ten people, now we have 25 on a good day. I am from the South, and this is how I was raised. If you don’t hug, they think you are mad, or something is terrribly wrong with you.
I am not a direct person, but there are people who are in the South. I am a minister’s wife, and I love everyone. That is how I deal with life which in my opinion is very short. When I get to heaven, I plan to slide on the golden streets, and hug all the angels and the saints, and the people that are there. I plan to love everyone, and you know, what was evil won’t be there, so we will all get along. A hug will be normal. RSC3
It sounds like you are full of love and warmth! I think it would be an honor to hug you!
I only hug people I love (not all of them though)..its just..its not comfortable to do so..eh
I agree sometimes best to leave the hug out of it
A resounding NO to hugs from people that I don’t know well. Also, it’s really hard to be this anti-hug living in the South. What is it about humidity that makes people want to get close. Gross.
You just made me chuckle out loud! Love it!
I’m a hugger, and I love hugging squirmers. We’d be good friends, I think. lol
I would run
Hugging is an intimate act. It’s bringing your body into close contact with mine. Basically, if you’re not going to come through for me in ways that really matter, please don’t hug me. I had a very hard time a few years ago, and some of the people who had hugged me a zillion times were not particularly kind or helpful. So what was all the hugging about? It’s OK not to be on my side, but don’t give the message that you care if you don’t. Indiscriminate hugging reminds me of a cheesy game show on TV.
Give me a handshake or a friendly nod and greeting, look me in the eye, smile! I’m very friendly, actually, just find it distasteful to be hugged by someone I don’t know well, or whom I know but am not close with, because people are all different and it’s hard to know how to read it. While I appreciate the sentiment — yes, it can be a cold world, let’s warm it up a bit — there are other ways to be kind without being intrusive. It just seems like fake intimacy to me, even if well intentioned.
I agree if the hug is compassionate, sincere, and warm then please to so…But if it is an act or facade please pass your hug onto the next person! Thank you for taking the time to share your views
If you are my girlfriend or family member – YES I will hug you. Sometimes I get this burst of love or emotion towards a friend and hug them tightly without their participation. But no one complains about it. If it’s a friends boyfriend, and it’s sometimes I don’t know well I dislike the invasion of my space VERY MUCH.
Lol if that makes sense?
Selective hugs make perfect sense to me
I feel ya! Try hugging and kissing on the cheek. Most of my family from Mexico are really used to this display of affection. I am getting used to it. We are simply not used to it. But whenever we visit in Mexico. We get ready for it. I hope you get used to it. And not pull away. I mean, yeah it’s weird. But, your family may not see it that way.
It’s true I should be more open and learn to embrace my inner hug. I’m working on it! I promise…
Hugger all the way!
How did I guess that
I hate being hugged by people who don not form immediate family. Even then I don’t like it. I don’t slug family i do slug others.
The only ones who get way hugging me are my daughters.
I will remember never to try to hug you unless I want a slug…
Definitely a hugger. Does cause a few uncomfortable moments here and there. When I’m around new folks I tried to remember to stick that hand out, if not, I dive right in.
Hahaha! I love it! I’ll shake you hand any day
I’m a hugger and a willing huggee as long as I have a close relationship with that person. I do not just hug people willy nilly. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, Belle!
Thank you! The response has been over-whelming! I love all of the comments!
Can you be a little bit in between?
I think you can
I am definitely a hugger. I remember when I was in high school I hugged people all the time! Back in those days we called people like me hug whores. LOL. But I’m also a good reader of people and can usually tell when people don’t really like to be touched or hug. Most of the time I only hug people if I haven’t seen them in a very long time, or if I’m very close to them. I have even gotten random hugs from people and felt weird about it because as much as I like hugs, I do not like being touched by strange people.
It’s different if you are hugging a stranger sometimes we miss certain social cues. I can be awkward at times when such an event occurs…
i am a total hugger. i especially love hugs from the people i’m closest with. i love finding a new friend who likes to hug (and physical contact…ie, hand-holding). i’m big on the hugs. cute post. i can totally appreciate those who aren’t into hugging though too.
I am like you. I love affection from those that are close to me. Hugs are near the top of my list as well as kisses and hand holding.
Thank you! I think it depends on the person. I guess it’s natural to be drawn to certain people and enjoying those special moments that create a connection.
Thank you! It is very exciting! I have had such a wonderful response from so many people! I feel the same as you about the hugs…We are selective huggers
I’m not a hugger at all. Hugs totally weird me out. Too much touching and I’m not into that. I won’t even hug my parents.
Not even your parents! I bet your Mom would love a hug!
Yeah, you’re probably right. I just can’t bring myself to do it.
It`s all about the ones we love to hug. Sometimes it`s nice to take one for the team
I am definitely a hugger. I love physical contact (nothing sexual mind, haha) in general, and it’s often a way for my friends to ground me to earth when I get too excited! I can understand that some people are the complete opposite though; a friend of mine hates physical contact (ie. hugs), but through our friendship we’ve gotten closer and so now she’s willing to do the small things like letting me hold her hand or play with her fingers…
Great post!
uponatlas.
Thank you! I think an emotional connection with an individual makes all the difference in a hug
I love hugs – giving and receiving! I would hug total strangers if it wouldn’t get me arrested. =)
You just made me snort out my tea! I’m envisioning the news headlines “Sheep Arrested for Hugging!”
I’m a hugger. It’s just the way I am.
It’s the perfect way to be
Totally a hugger. I come from a big Italian family not only are we big huggers but double check kissers as well, all family and friends.
A kiss and hug would throw me completely off! I’m awkward enough as is I would probably break my nose :O
I am a hugger with people I am really, really close to. Very good friends. My boyfriend. My child. Other family…you know, the ones I admit to being related to. Otherwise, I try to put off a very strong “Please don’t touch me” aura. I seem to have about a 70% success rate. Apparently, stiffening like a weirdo when people put their arms around you is not a strong enough hint that you’re not comfortable.
I know! Tell me about it! You would think they would take it as a sign….o2 second rule!
Hug means affection and closeness for me so I really don’t mind. ^^ Great post!
Thank you! A hug offers so much meaning to so many people! It really does offer an emotional connection
I am a selective hugger, only close friends and family–all others… back off! LOL!
LOL! Step away from the hug!
It doesn’t bother me…in fact I am a hugger. I give hugs even if I just met someone. I live in the south, it’s hello down here.
I have to remember this the next time I visit the south
I saw your blog on “Freshly-Pressed” and thought I’d stop by. To answer your question (even though you have so many answers) I am a huger, but I am not one of those awkward/annoying people who hugs EVERYONE I know! So I guess I’m not a big “Huger” but I do enjoy hugs.
Ha ha. I enjoyed the Scooby Doo pic as well. (You’ve gotta love a good Shaggy and Scooby pictuer!) Anyway, have a great weekend. God Bless.
Jenny~
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment! I think a hug is a wonderful thing if it is shared with the ones you love
I loathe hugs. If I come into a room with a known hugger, I always try to put a piece of furniture between the hugger and myself. That way, if they reach out for a hug, I can reach out with a handshake.
Based on all the comments here qualifying that no one wants to hug someone who’s smelly and gross, maybe I should start showering less frequently.
Your comment just made me laugh out loud! You remind me of a very dear friend and I suspect she would have said the exact same thing! Except she thinks patchouli is a deterrent
I’m a hugger, kinda. Maybe only five people can get away with hugging me. Two are sisters, one’s a brother, my mother, and my boyfriend. Other than that I freak out or freeze up.
I think it really makes a difference if you feel an emotional connection with a person and consider them a part of your tribe.
brightstarbeautiful.wordpress.com
Hugger, but only with people I know well. Alas, I moved from a part of the country where hugging is typically the A-hug (shoulder to shoulder, tap the back, feet far apart from each other’s), Washington, D.C., to Kissing Central, Long Island, where meeting my boyfriend’s friends for the first time resulted in not only hugs, but kisses! Long Islanders are very kissie. I miss the South.
I’m getting the feeling from all of the comments I’m receiving is the South is filled with warm embraces and smiles.
I found this funny – I didnt know there were other people out there that dont “Do the hugs”
I wrote a post on my aversion to hugging a while ago if you want to check it out. Until then – good luck keeping them people a safe arm distance away! 
http://myfallingleaves.wordpress.com/2010/09/03/to-be-or-not-to-be-hugged/
Hahaha! Thanks! I will keep it up with the dodge and dash
I’m definitely not a hugger. I make a few awkward exceptions for blood relatives and very close friends, but physical contact with others generally freaks me out. I need my personal space!
I completely understand the need for personal space
I’m a hugger of people I know and like, of people who are comfortable with me, but I’m not a hugger of total strangers – that often creeps me out!
Curious, this post, as it’s something like what I’d wanted to write about myself recently… and didn’t!
I think hugging can be a selective process for us all!
Hugger here. In fact, there is even a “Hug Chair” that I wrote about recently! Keep up the great work with your blog
Thank you! Oh My Goodness! What is a hug chair?
Definitely a hugger. Weirdly, if I like a guy, I’m iffy to hug him… I don’t want to be seen as overly affectionate. I guess … people really do treat the ones they like differently.
I’m the same way! If I had a crush on someone I would get awkward and completely ignore them! Luckily, my husband caught on and is a very good hugger
I’m a hugger, and I hug so much that my little 4 year old started hugging strangers who are nice to her as a ‘thank you’.
We had a little chat about that though and she’s putting in a lot of effort restraining herself from hugging strangers. It’s hilarious watching her trying to exercise control!
Hahaha! It such a magical age! I remember my oldest being the same way!
I am a discriminating hugger. For those with whom I don’t want a long duration, there is the pat, pat, pat (always 3), and that signals the end!
I love the pat, pat, pat technique! I’m adding it to my repertoire!
Oh man I am SUCH a hugger! In my world a hug is free and it can make someone’s day. You never know when someone really just needs a kind embrace. That being said, I realize I may be the only one in a hug duo who feels this way and I’ve definitely found myself in awkward hug situations but I don’t let it bother me… I love a good hug!
A good hug is wonderful especially on those really awful days from the ones we love! It is different though when it is a little awkward
My family is split. Half are hardcore huggers, half don’t know how to hug. So I grew up confused.
Maybe that’s my problem
We have never seen our parents hug or kiss one another. But they had 6 children! They are more traditional Chinese parents where affection just wasn’t shown.
Hugging was with babies and very small children. Then it stops.
So I had to get used to hugging occasionally….starting in my late 20′s. Ah yes, a repressed bunch that we can be.
Fortunately my partner comes from a family that hugs abit more.
Now it is hugging with family and close friends. After all I see them once a yr. or even less being in a different part of Canada.
It is hard to be so far from family and friends. I can definitely relate! But when it is nice to see them I do give them a big hug
I can so relate to this! I like hugs, but I tend to panic about where my arms should go. The worst is when short friends think both of their arms should go up high – as if I am going to pick them up or something. BUT I had a friend tell me the other day that she took a personality test a few years ago, and the results told her that not everyone loves hugging. She was shocked to learn this information.
I would have never guessed! I am definitely a selective hugger and awkward…I never know what to do with my arms!
I could hug my kids all day if they’d let me. (that’s a big IF. 2 teenagers)
But when it comes to other people, even my own immediate family…. Stay out of my bubble, people!!
I definitely see where you’re coming from..
Thank you! I do enjoy my little bubble
I am definitely a hugger! i am slightly infamous for it, even – not in a bad way (like I don’t terrorise people who don’t like hugs, haha), I dunno, apparently I am very good at hugs. I didn’t even really think about such a thing until I read this, and now I’m pondering it moreso.
Don’t ponder to much! You need to do what works for you! I bet you are a great hugger
I Like
Thank you
I’m a big hugger – my whole family is! There’s something very special about starting and ending your day with a hug
It’s true a hug at the start and the end of the day make it so much more special especially if it is from the ones you love and are close too!
I’m with you… Hugging is a huge, awkward invasion of my space that I care to avoid whenever possible. Even when I leave from visiting my dad (also not a hugger) it is always an over-the-shoulder back pat half hug. The only two people who receive a real person hug from me are the boyfriend and my mom (who unfortunately is a cling on and don’t let go hugger). The dogs also receive their fair share of hugs.
Our fur babies and kids deserve all of the hugs in the world
I am definitely a hugger. I could hug, hug, hug all the time. I read that you need to hug for 6 seconds to make a deep connection. I remember the first hug my disabled son gave me, when he was 7. He just turned 18. That first hug changed the direction of my entire life. I quite my career and decided to suck up every hug he would ever give me for as long as he was willing to give it. I hug strangers, hug friends, hug acquaintences, hug enemies, hug loved ones. I love giving a hug to someone who so needs it, but won’t ask. I love ‘huggling’ on the couch with my husband. I love being wrapped up in a hug with my husband’s arms, knowing no other place in the world is as safe as this one. I have 2 step-sons, and they weren’t brought up huggers and kills me. I asked one once, “could I hug you?” and his reply was “that would be awkward”. Not too long ago, that very step-son was leaving his home for 4 months to work in a remote area of the Yukon and he hugged me. OHHHHweeeee what a feeling that hug was. I thought he was going to break my ribs, but I wasn’t saying a word.
I love hugs!!!!! The giving of them and the receiving of them.
You sound like you could embrace the world! I love hugs from my dear ones and the connections I have with others in my life. It`s a start for me. Right?
Definitely a hugger but married into a family of non-huggers but they are learning:)
Congrats on the Freshly Pressed!
Thank you! I can definitely see you being a hugger and bringing everyone over to your side
I totally get what you’re saying. For me, it depends on the person, really. If it’s a total stranger… or someone with a sinus infection… then no, I’m not a hugger. If it’s Brad Paisley or Johnny Depp, then I’m definitely a hugger.
Hahaha! You know what I would be in awe of their good lucks and wouldn’t know what to do! I wouldn’t want those fellas thinking I was interested
I grew up in a hugging family and my best friend in a non-hugging family. We both knew our families loved us unconditionally.
We now hug after YEARS of half-hugging with her arms creating a shield in front of her body for her comfort. I’m much more aware of other’s comfort levels since we’ve been friends.
Great post!
Thank you! It’s funny people do give off an aura of hug or not to hug. We all have our own comfort levels!
I’m a PROUD HUGGER ^_^!
Congrats for being on ‘Fresh’ :*
Mmmwah! ^x^
Thank you! I think you need a shirt that says “Team Hug!”
hugging the best medicine
Sometimes it is
well i love hugs though not i do know of many who aren’t fond of hugs. doving away is just a little awkward for me so i’ll just open my arms and hug them back. there are times where a hug seems really wierd… hahaha.. but what harm can a hug do between 2 people right?
A hug can never hug anyone unless they are the jealous type
I am TOTALLY a hugger. I love personal physical contact, be it between me and my family or with complete strangers. Does that make me creepy, because I feel a little creepy saying it …? Not that I go hug random strangers, mind you, but if some drunk comes over and wants a hug, I’m in … Yeah that still sounds creepy.
No it doesn’t make you creepy
It makes you in tune with everything and everyone! I suspect you are great at reading social cues!
If I were to hug a Scooby, I’d totally do it!
But, yeah, one of my good friends says I always give an awkward hug. And that’s true. I don’t find myself ever just hugging, y’now?!
This same friend said, the awkwardness is an improvement. A few years ago, she said she felt like hugging a rock.
And I had to share this :
It means you must be comfortable to getting hugs from your close friends. A rock is always good to depend on
I grew up in a relatively non-huggy family and married a man from huge family, all of whom hug and kiss upon greeting and leaving, and pretty much whenever the urge hits them. So do all of their friends, I did feel like an anti-social freak for awhile, but I’ve slowly become accustomed to hugging more. I’ll let most people hug me once, but if I get a weird vibe or they smell bad, forget it- they’ll get a handshake or a pat on the shoulder the next time.
I think when you are thrown into a such a hugging family – you are bound to learn to accept and hug. It must be nice to feel so much warmth when you visit the in-laws
i LOVE to hug! i grew up in Hawaii and we hugged strangers we’ve just met. when i moved to SF for high school people thought i was strange. i don’t randomly hug people anymore, but when i do its a sign that person is a good friend.
I bet your hugging friends really appreciate it!
I’m not a “lets hug em all” m quite selective
I will hug good friends which I have not seen for awhile. Though I do have some friends that will hug even if you see them every day, I think this is nice. But like I said, I would normally just hug a good friend/family that I had not seen in a while.
I agree there are many friends I would hug that I haven’t seen for a while…:)
Never been a fan of hugging, my family doesn’t do it, and we tend to touch each other to annoy each other. My fiance’s family is very much touchy-feely and huggers so I’ve had to get used to it. I’ve had those awkward situations where someone hugs you, and you are not prepared, or you don’t want to do it, and you can’t get out of it.
My husbands family are not huggers! So I am very much off the hook! Thankfully
Kids and animals, yes. With adults, it all depends. Apart from children, I have personal space issues. So if random people dive in for a huge, I do the awkward one arm side hug thing…..
I have done that a time or two
It’s the perfect solution!
lol I’m a hugger. I like to scare non-huggers with hugs. The reaction is just how you described. The jump back look awkward one eye stare. I fricking love it.
Coming from a latin country, I know exactly what you mean. I’m a BIG hugger myself and when traveling around I always end up invading people’s personal spaces. Most of the times I only realize a second after I just did it. A few times I do it intentionally, depending on the person. Where I grew up personal space is a sort of a public thing… : )
Hahaha! You would torture me!
This is a weird thing, because I used to hug EVERYONE. I was a dancer (the semi-professional, competitive kind, not the half-naked, spin-on-the-pole kind) for YEARS, and I just had NO sense of personal space.
Everyone hugged. Everyone kissed on each other’s cheeks. Everyone slapped each other’s butts. It’s awkward for me to admit this, years later, but I’ve shared bras and clothes, and there are probably four girls I’ve showered with JUST BECAUSE we didn’t have time to all shower separately.
Now, though, hugs creep me out in most cases. I hug my husband, his family, and my family…and some SUPER CLOSE friends. That’s it.
…holy crap, I just admitted on the internet that I’ve showered with girls.
Hahahah, that is definitely the case with performers! So funny.
I guess that is why I was never a performer! It might actually have done me a world of good
Some psychologists believe that a hug could fill whatever void there is in a person’s emotions. Whenever I feel upset, I am so happy with what I have received or have done, or whenever I need to feel some unexplained emotions, a hug is the only thing that could do a lot of explaining. Babies known to be nourished by their parent’s hugs are somewhat attached to them compared to others who do not do as often. For me, hugs are essential whenever just to let the other person feel how much I feel about them or whatever I do.
Sometimes a hug can provide us with the greatest comfort especially it is from the ones we love
Hahaha. I’m definitely not a hugger. Well, partially. I would hug old friends who I haven’t met for some time, but I wouldn’t hug people who I met every day, especially people from the opposite sex. It’s really in my culture, especially in my country. Because if you hug people from the opposite sex, people would think you’re probably hitting on that person. When people suddenly hug me, I don’t hate it, but I kinda hope that it would always come with a warning because sometimes it would leave me… stunned and surprised, if not shocked.
Sometimes there is the surprise factor but sometimes those can be the sweetest hugs. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment
I am not a hugger in general. But I will hug my kids twenty times a day, maybe more if I can get away with it. But I don’t hug my husband but with him there are little touches on his shoulder or back that suffice. I will hug people close to me and those not so close in times of deep distress. I hugged my husband’s best friend when he broke down over his grandparents death because everyone was occupied with dinner and didn’t notice. So I took one for the team.
I think it is very nice you took one for the team
i just hug the person i love…
http://letscriticize.wordpress.com
http://alfjeremy.wordpress.com
I bet they really appreciate it
I am definitely a hugger. In fact, I feel awkward when I don’t hug someone upon greeting them, unless it’s a professional meeting or I just don’t know the person. Perhaps it’s my latino background because everyone in my family and my husband’s family greets and says good bye this way. Even my latino collegues will sometimes greet me with a hug and kiss on the cheek! I once watched one of my non-latino colleagues get kissed on the cheek by another latino colleague while we were getting ready for a meeting. She was so flustered and it was so awkward for everyone else, I felt sorry for her.
Hahaha! That probably would have been me
What a great idea! Your questions makes us actually think about hugging and if we really like it. I think hugging is great whenever it suits the situation and the people involved. What’s important about it is to know that we have the right to say “NO” if we don’t feel comfortable hugging someone.
How often do we hug just because it is social or we don’t want to upset somebody else?
Have a wonderful hugging day!
Thank you! It`s amazing the questions and responses about hugging! I guess it is a social gesture that some people love or dislike…
Public display of affection (and that includes even the simple, casual hug!), isn’t common in this part of the world, I live in
and therefore when someone greets me with a hug, I freeze and as I manage to return it, I’am never too sure if I’am doing it the right way 
I must come from the same location – the freeze is a very telling sign to the hugger
I like this story. it is significant. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for checking it out
O God My family is just like yours. Ya . They don’t like hugging and all that. You were so funny.
But I love giving and getting hugs. just try making a start. You’ll get used to it. Really.
http://fluidwords.wordpress.com/
I will try to get use to it! I promise to attempt to be less awkward
I was never a ‘hug’ person until the day I left for my hostel.. That deep embrace with my mom for a few minutes made me feel great. She must have felt the same. The next time I hugged was when I felt really unsafe to live in the place far away from home area where abductions and murders were frequent. I talked with my friend, n she hugged me and told me that everything was going to be fine. She made me feel safe. Ever since I hug my friends when one of us need it.. Hugging actually is a therapy, that cures ur ills but produce no bills
hehe
Hugging is sometimes the nicest gift we can give to our close friends in need and I hope that you are living somewhere safe!
I just moved to another school as a freshman and the friends I made there likes to hug. I get awkward whenever someone would hug me, and they would always laugh at my face. I like getting hugged, but I never really did how to learn how to react whenever someone hugs me. Haha.
http://issabelaespinoza.wordpress.com
Sometimes hugging can be a work in progress
I so identify with this blog! I am not a hugger and never have been, but now have a group of friends who do hug to greet and part. They know I am awkward about it – and can tell if I have had a few drinks as I hug with greater gusto then – but I try and combat my reluctance as it really is quite nice!
Also we do try and hug our kids, so they don;t have the same experience. My Dad visited recently and my 15 y/o surprised him by running the length of the hall to give him a huge hug before he left – it made my Dad’s day so hugging is definately a habit to be encouraged.
A few drinks can make all the difference in a hug
Oh, I’m a hugger! I’ll hug everything. My dogs, my parents, my sisters, spiders, socks… carrots. Anything that’s got physical arm-wrappable space. I love hugs. I’ll be coming at you, arms flailing!
Hahaha! I will have to remember that
I am a hugger If im friends with someone i hug em every time i get the chance to, i also hug people i just met to show them i like them and want to get to know them. Hugging is my frickin nature!!!
It must be nice to be that close with nature
Kidding!
As a teacher, I’ve been programmed to always side-hug and that has carried through to the hugging I do in my personal life. I am an exclusive side-hugger. And I’ll side-hug anybody. I’ll even side-hug at a funeral. Maybe I don’t really want to hug anybody, and this is the best compromise I can think of.
Someone else mentioned the side hug! I`m starting to dig that idea
I’m definitely a hugger – perhaps it is a New Zealand thing, as all my other Kiwi friends here in the UK are the same. On the other hand, I find the whole European ‘kiss on the cheek’ incredibly uncomfortable!
Oh! A Kiss! I`m really not ready for that! A hug I can handle…
I really only hug my (closest) family members now and then, when it’s my own initiative at least (and it usually isn’t). When a friend or someone close initiates a hug I will always accept it, though I understand your reaction, haha. I also feel quite awkward most of the time! I guess I’m a semi-hugger?
It is much nicer to hug our close friends and family. I think you are a semi-hugger! I feel the same!
we weren’t a huggy family either with the exception of my grandmother who loved to snuggle you right into her arms, a wonderful feeling. I decided to pass this on to my daughter. public hugs with acquaintence’s are still awkward at best
They are awkward! My kids on the other hand get all of the hugs in the world
i am so not a hugger. all my friends are huggers . seriously ALL of them but when they they try to hug me i back away. .
Hahaha! They must try to hug you! Just for the pleasure of torture!
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Good read!
Thank you! I guess that would mean you are selective hugger
I’m more of a hugger with friends and family than I used to be, but I started realising recently that it might freak people out and it might seem a bit creepy, so I try to hold back if I’m not sure the other person is okay about it. Saying that, a couple of people I don’t very well know I’m a hugger and have asked me for a hug in the past. I’d never turn anyone away who asked for a hug.
I don`t think I would turn anyone down in need of a hug
I’m so happy you got freshly pressed
Thumbs up!
And i am such a big time hugger, people sometimes doubt my intentions (Not the one i’m hugging; the ones watching do that)
Thank you! I am pretty happy too!
I wonder what the ones watching you are thinking…
I am a mediocre hugger (Close ones)… In India we had a special term for it, “Jaadu Ki Jhappi” (Magical’s hug)
I love that! A very beautiful expression
Finally somone understands me! I hate hugging more than I hate homework I loved this post I laughed the whole way through!
Thanks for the awesome post.
Thank you! I`m happy to have made you laugh!
I do enjoy a good hug but i’m put off by that awkward moment when your going in for the hug and aren’t quite sure if you should hug under the arms, or over them; or both. Which side do you lean in. So many decisions to make in so little time.
I know! It`s too much to think about unless you have practiced your whole life!
Very much like this post! I am definitely a non-hugger, but I am married to a Greek and I now live in Greece – and most Greeks are big-time huggers! Plus my poor daughter seems to have inheritied my non-cuddliness and it’s painful to watch her being squished by well-meaning relatives while she tries to squirm away!
Oh! Your poor daughter! I understand exactly how she must dislike it!
I love to hug. Sometimes I hug myself because there is no one to hug me.
I`ll send you a virtual hug! *HUGS*
i love the post… made me smile and i do relate to it … affection was more verbal than sensual (hugs) … but i just grow out of it and ” embraced ” the hugging as great way and never invasion of personal space !!!
I have to start looking at it like that and attempt to embrace my inner cuddle bear. I really am trying to be a better hugger
I am hugger.
I think you need a shirt that says team hug!
So interesting. I’m not a hugger either. My daughter is though, so now we’ve made a joke of it and I always feign running away. One of my close friends whose daughter is not a hugger reprimanded me lightly saying that I had all the luck to have a teenager who wanted to hug!
I moved to France two years ago from middle England and had to quickly get up to speed on the kissing cheeks bit. Unlike London where I feel the whole kiss thing is over done and false, real french ‘bises’ are low key, cheek only (no body contact) and so part of the establishment that they don’t invade personal space.
So there’s the low down, in France you can be a non hugger but do the ‘bises’ without batting an eyelid and without any pseudo best buddies pretence.
I am such a bumbling disaster in France! Mr. Bean would like suave in comparison
i’m very tactile. so yes, very much a hugger.
I think you also need a team hug shirt!
I don’t mind hugging so I don’t go out of my way to avoid it but I won’t invite it either.
More selective…
I’m absolutely a hugger, which is a bit weird because I have no patience for other kinds of physical greeting (pats, arm slugs, the strange kiss of friends, etc.). But hugs are definitely my forte–I’ve been known to have whole conversations with friends within a hug (but I’ve known those friends for years). I totally respect people who aren’t comfortable with that, as I’m aware of my own moments of “yeah okay personal space please.”
WoW! Conversations! Oh! Man! I don`t think I could do that! You are definite hug expert! I think you should write the book on it
I never used to be a hugger, i used to get really freaked out when people would hug. My family were the same, we weren’t really a hugging family but i am getting better at it now. I think you almost have to get yourself in the habit. What are you like with public affection? I get freaked out if like a boyfriend or anyone tries to hold my hand even. :S lol
LOL! Public affection has never been my thing! It is odd…
I’m a born-again hugger like Desi. Didn’t get into hugging until maybe age 30? My family did not used to be huggers, but slowly many of us have converted. I even hug students but ask permission first to avoid lawsuits.
The other day I saw a friend from grad school for the first time in 8 years. I was so happy to see him tears sprang to my eyes, I ran towards him and he caught me in a huge hug that was wildly comforting. I promise it was completely platonic, but we had been so close and went through a bit of hellishness in grad school together and survived. I remember thinking “Wow, he’s a good hugger!” I’m getting teary just thinking about the hug.
I highly recommend the hug for therapeutic value in this crazy world. And they are free!!!
I would do that same also to avoid the lawsuit
Hugs are free and are great when they are shared with good friends and the ones we love!
It’s nice and rare to find another hug-hater! It’s just an awkward experience, hugging others. It’s too intimate for people I don’t want to touch. And for some reason everyone wants one. It’s a stressful life, being a non-hugger, but you are not alone!
Thanks for the post!
http://jacobscotttmoore.wordpress.com
Haha, oops.
http://jacobscottmoore.wordpress.com
Thank you! It`s nice to know I am not alone
SO true, I love to hug my close friends and family when needed but it does get a little strange when people go in for a hug and either you’re not expecting it or you would rather not!
Great post!!
Thank you! It`s the unsuspecting hug that gets me everytime!
I’m a hugger, but only with people that are close to me. Hugging people I wouldn’t tell a secret to is just awkward.
It is a little awkward! I agree
Yes, I’m a hugger: however, my friends arent.
Does it make hugging toughÉ
I’m definitely a hugger… and hugging is *definitely* not a ‘thing’ here in Portugal. A few amusing incidents occurred in my early days living here
Hugs just seem so wholesome and down-to-earth… but I can get the aversion to hugs. I think that even hug-happy folks have a double standard for hug acceptability… If a creepy-looking guy comes in for a hug in the same context that, say, a grandma did, I’d feel differently in each instance. I feel like women can ‘get away’ with non-creepy hugs more easily than guys can…but I’m a woman, so I’m biased 
Do you think your aversion has more to do with your family dynamic while growing up, or with the regional culture in which you were raised, or is it more of a personal idiosyncrasy? I see that you wrote your family wasn’t very huggy when you were growing up, but I wonder what factors you think are the ‘keys’ in hug-happy vs. hug-averse folks
Those a very good questions! We hugged during times of sadness or celebrations such as weddings. But our hugs are selective…It might be regional thing – I suspect
I am absolutely not a hugger! It freaks me out a little bit and I try to avoid it as best I can haha
Are you known to do the hop away?
my family is a big time hugger! they’ll hug when your sad, happy, excited…except when we are bored we just sit their on the couch trying not to touch each other!
Hahaha! I wouldn’t like that…
hah, what a necessary conversation! I grew up in a dutch household, so we greet most people with not only hugs, but kisses! and 3 of them! And my girlfriends and I grew up hugging so I really didn’t know that other side of the coin until I met my partner’s family 2 years ago (! that’s 26 years of uninterrupted and un-deliberated hugging), and I met everyone without a hug. It felt like such an incomplete encounter for me and I even felt slightly unwelcome. But now, funny as it is, either I have converted them or they know that I am a hugger and thus concede, I get a hug every time
I never thought of a hugless encounter as incomplete. What have I been missing all of these years?
I am a secret hugger…
I love to give and receive hugs but I do know people who are not into hugging unless it is that of their other-halves or children. When we part ways after a meet I respect the non-huggers and never go forth for one as I would hate to ruin a good evening with awkwardness.
The non-huggers do not know about my love of hugs as I have never gone in for one… like I said I am a secret hugger and always wait for that person to make the first move; once they have though, I will hug them for life
Cuddle…? ha ha
Hahaha! I see you with your trench coat sneaking out for secret hugs! Love it!
DON’T TOUCH ME!…. Is the way I use to be. But now at the ripe old age of 59…I’m a hugger. Yes me who at the thought of hugging…I pretended something was in my eye or something.
Well I have 6 children and a husband so how did I deal with hugging? I’m a do-er. I do stuff for people…it’s my way. Doing is love to me.
So since I can’t do for any of you……
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
((Hugs ))
Hahaha! Thank you! That is a very kind virtual hug
Me hugger! However, family and very close friends, otherwise distant cousins, aunts and uncles get 45 degree hug, kind of an arm half-way across the shoulder.
I think I could swing that kinda hug
I hug my cats alot. Of course even felines have limits to how much snubble buggle they want to endure.
Fur babies need all of the hugs they can get
I see nothing wrong with hugs! They’re quite nice, I do believe.
There are, however, a small list of people I wouldn’t hug:
- Lecturers, professors, teachers, academics
- Enemies (for obvious reasons)
- People will the flu or contagious skin diseases
- The Pope (for fear of the consequences!)
I love that list! It is perfect!
I’ve got a friend just like that! he only shakes hands instead of hugging, i always have to remember never to go in for a hug or face the consequences of being pushed away awkwardly with a strange look of confusion
I may have done that a time or two…
I’m a hugger. I love affection. My daughter, however, I’m not sure what happened there. She was a hugger until she turned teen. Then it went down hill. I miss my hugs from her and hope that it comes back. I still have my little boy who loves to hug his mommy, thank God, and my husband as well.
I dread the day my kids turn into teens and no long want my hugs. I hope that never happens!
Hugs are the elixir of life! Hugging is beneficial to your health – proven. Hugs validate. They comfort and make “it” all better. I couldn’t live without my hugs (especially the bear hugs I get from my sisters, my husband and my kids).
I would also like to recommend a great YouTube video – Free Hugs in Sondrio, Italy,
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hN8CKwdosjE
Thank you! I will have to check it out! Hugs from family and friends do have away of making things better
Did we grow up in the same family?! I didn’t hug people other than the occasional, awkward hug from my grandpa’s wife (she’s not my grandmother), during which my skin crawled and I felt as if it were all a bad dream or out-of-body experience. Then I went to college, and suddenly found myself surrounded by scads of crazy people who INSISTED on hugging me with every arrival or departure. This alien world I found myself in eventually raised my comfort level with hugging (and being touched in general), and I’ve become a frequent hugger. The caveat to this is – I don’t hug strangers. I have, however, had strangers hug me (awkward)… and I’ve hugged them back. I’ve nothing to lose if I get a “stranger hug” and just dive right in with gusto (though, I may feel a bit dirty afterwards).
Really, it all comes down to body language. I maintain personal spatial boundaries, even around those whom I would like to hug, first checking body language; if they are “closed” (arms crossed, etc.) I refrain, if their stance is “open” and they look like they might enjoy a hug, I’ll ask or do the “arms held open for a hug invitation”. The variety of hug given varies from “full frontal” to some people only getting the “one arm squeeze”.
Since the hugging immersion in college, my family has somehow acquired the “Hug Bug” like a rampant viral infection. Suddenly everyone became “chummy” and hugs abound. To tell the truth – this freaks me out a bit after the first twenty years being virtually hug-free. Now, instead of the make-my-skin-crawl awkward hugs from JUST my grandpa’s wife once every year or two, I get them from my dad, too. I’m not comfortable with that… but I’ll live with it.
It’s true we really have nothing to lose from a hug! I wonder if my family will ever catch the hug bug?
My entire family is a bunch of sappy huggers, and as a teacher, I am very careful about “sharing the love.” So while I try to be conscious of my invading peoples’ space, I also want them to know that I do care about them. I don’t believe in the “man hug.” That is just a facade for guys who are insecure.
It sounds like you also have the hug bug. It must be great to be that open!
My family is not the one to do hugging too…its just like what you’ve said, its not that we don’t love each other, we just don’t hug (except for my kid brother he just loooove hugging). But i do hugs with my my besties, i don’t know how or when i pick the habit, but whenever we meet we hug. I think hugging is ok but not just with anybody… ;D
So would be a selective hugger
Haha! That’s funny! It’s probably so funny because hugs are usually awkward for me too, although I admit my family is no stranger to hugging. Though, awkward, like Nike, I usually just do it. It’s not that I don’t like affection, it’s just that I prefer to show it in other ways, like through words, gestures, etc. But, I liked the old punch to the should you did with your cousin. That was creative and quick on the feet thinking, I must say. I enjoyed your post. Congratulations on being freshly pressed!
Thank you! I have to remember the just do it slogan for the next time someone dives in with a hug
I am definitely a hugger, never giving it any thought. I hope and think I only hug people who want to reciprocate, I haven’t noticed any weird hugging episodes, so I’m assuming I only hug people whom it’s appropriate to hug in my life …interesting perspective though, it made me think about it and wonder now. Perhaps I’ll notice and make sure I don’t hug inappropriately Ha, ha!.
It sounds like you are a hugger who knows when and how to hug!
I am definitely not a hugger! But certain people are okay, I suppose (albeit very few). In fact, I can’t think of any right now…
I guess you would be a conditional hugger and I totally get it!
I am a hugger. I hug everyone, everywhere and all the time. It drives my family crazy. I have gotten in trouble many times for my ‘excessive’ hugging, but I cannot seem to stop. Is hugging an addiction? If so, I am addicted.
It sounds like you have the hug bug!
I find it really difficult too!
Even if I do hug somebody, it just doesn’t feel like its an intense emotion, which is what a hug should be…maybe its just because I’m not used to it.
I think it depends on the person you are hugging
I definitely a hugger. Other people in my family are not. But I find that when people don’t hug, their missing out or have missed out on something. Not that they are not great human beings, gifted, and are loved or are in love. They can be all of the above, but they’ve put up a barrier – just out of habit or for self preservation.
Alot of people seem to be telling me that there is an emotional connection. I promise to be more open to the hug
I love hugs and don’t trust people who either don’t hug, or they give you that dead body hug, where all they can muster is their hand on your back and a slight lean-in. Its the equivalent of the limp fish handshake. Not cool.
If I were to go in to hug you, and you “dove back” as you said, I would be extremely offended, especially if you were family. That would be my last interaction with you.
I never knew a hug could make or break a relationship. I will have to remember that the next time I give someone the hug! Phew! The pressure!
I too am not a hugger, very bad for me since everyone around me wants to hug….
I try and send out signals to make people aware that I do not want a hug, but either they are not tuned in or simply don’t care about my special gift of sending those signals…..:)
Sometimes people ignore our signals just to torture us! It’s their own joke on us
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! I’d give you a hug, but..well…you know. I’m totally a hugger, having learned the hard way that sometimes it might be the last chance you have to hug someone. That’s always applied to family and friends, and every so often to acquaintances who, whether verbally or by body language, indicate that they just need a good ol’ sincere hug.
If I had a shirt that said “I’m a hugger and proud of it!” I would send it to you
I think would be the perfect fit!
I like hugs. They’re warm and cozy…except when they’re from stinky people…
There really seems to be a trend about stinky people…I think they need hugs too!
I hug everybody! Full body contact!
But I’m from that type of culture.
I agree with Darlene. I’d be slightly offended if anyone ever jumped back… That’s terrible! Haha
Phew! You and Darlene are placing alot of pressure for a good hug from a non-hugger like me! I’m breaking out in a sweat!
Haha…It’s like it Super Bad when Evan punches that girl in the boob.
LOL! I have to confess I have never seen the movie! I will have to check it out
So I haven’t never considered myself a hugger to folks outside my immediate circle of friends and family. However, when it comes to people inside that circle, I don’t have a problem with it.
That is until one day my mom announced to me that I am a super awkward hugger, even to my family. I was totally caught off guard as I did not think that was the case.
Thankfully she followed it up by saying that my fiance was just as umcomfortable to hug. Must be why we don’t notice it when we hug each other!
Awwww! I think an awkward hug is better then no hug!
I’ll admit it…I’m a hugger!!! I tend to hug all of my friends, and most don’t mind at all. I have come across a few who are awkward about it, so I just pull back and don’t do it again. Although I must admit that it does hurt my feelings when they pull back, even though I understand that not everyone comes from families that hug. Your post helped me understand that more!!! Thank you.
http://indiraadams.wordpress.com
http://handreachedout.wordpress.com
You are welcome! Non-Huggers never mean any harm to anyone’s feelings sometime it is more of a personal space issue or we are only use to hugging at selective times.
I’m a sometimes hugger. After initiating a few awkward hugs, I now just kinda wait for the other person. Especially with me being a man, I can’t just go grabbing and hugging folks (female) that aren’t aren’t ready for it.
hahaha! You are pretty cute! I don’t think many females would mind
I’m a hugger and a kisser! Watch out! #kissingbandit Hugs and kisses are important for your overall well being. There is magic in it, try to accept it from others and know there’s no wrong way. Some cultures think a hug is more intimate than a kiss.
Eeeks!Kidding! I will try to embrace the magic!
I’m definitely a hugger. I’ll hug anyone really, especially if they say they need it!
I think there are times when we just need to hug
I am Italian, so just from that people thinks that I like to hug and be hugged. But in reality for me a hug is something quite “intimate” so I feel comfortable just to hug my family and my partner .
I do remember the weirdest period of my life, when I was living in Southern Spain, and when you are introduced to someone there they don’t shake your hand, they simply hug and kiss you on your cheeks… really…the first 2/3 months have been quite…strange…strangers kissing and hugging me all the time
Kisses and hugs all of the time! I will have to remember this when I purchase my retirement villa in Spain. I will have to be open…
I am not a hugger at all. If someone hugs me then I will hug them back but it will be a bit weird and I will never initiate it.
I am really not an initiator unless it is a close friend or family member who looks like the need a hug
I have only very recently realised that a hug actually can mean a lot. And ever since this feeling has occurred to me, I feel like hugging all the people I value, love and admire, on all possible occasions. I am getting sentimental about it while I write this!
A hug does offer an emotional connection on so many levels especially when it is given to the ones we love.
I’m TERRIFIED of hugs. I sort of understand the theory behind hugs, but can’t really apply it. It’s a bit like communism in that respect. I think a lot of this is because I’m British, and we’re all far too emotionally repressed to do something as dramatic as hugging.
Hahaha! I completely understand what you are saying! It is almost like communism
An invasion of space!
I’m a hugger! It just comes naturally to me I suppose…meeting the lover for coffee starts out with a warm hug,seeing my favorite cousin after 3 days begins and ends with a hug…the list goes on.
-Lily Hex
A lover always deserves a long hug
YES-YES-YES!! I am a born hugger!! I have some of the hugginess people in my family!!! We love to hugg….if I reach for you and you reach back……..IT’S ON!!! GROUP HUGGGGG!!
I think you need a shirt that says “I have got lots of love! I am a hug bug!”
What a great post! The weird thing is, I used to be more of a hugger – but am less so now. I agree with so many other comments that it is such an ‘it depends’ scenario. I used to think that if someone wanted to hug me, then it was rude not to accept – but typically those people are personal space invading people. I feel bad for anyone who’s felt I invaded their personal space with a hug, but I do pick up on awkwardness cues, and that has helped me be less of a hugger over the years. I’ve recently let go of this person in my life who likes to hug frequently, and it felt so awkward, and soon felt icky. I suppose I should have said, ‘please don’t hug me, or attempt to hug so much’, but then I’m a rude bitch – so it’s easier to just stop hanging out with them. Maybe that makes me worse, but I feel a whole lot better!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Thank you! It’s easier to go with an awkward hug or a slug to the arm then ever say please don’t hug me. I think that might be a hard to say to the person diving in for the hug. I would never want to hurt anyone’s feelings especially a hug bugs. I think they are very sensitive about it all
Same is the case with me..some people are not very good at expressing their affection and that’s why they take a step back when someone comes forward to hug..even I feel shy and avoid eye contact with the person when he/she hugs me or shows profound affection in some way. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care.. ain’t it..
It means we do care – sometimes we just have different ways of expressing ourselves
Most people would consider me a hugger because I often hug my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephew. I am not that way with most people though.
Growing up in a rather large family (that is for the most part huggers), I am usually okay with people hugging me and hug them back. As long as I at least know them a little bit. However, I’m not really the type who will walk up and hug someone else unless I’ve known them very well for a long time. Totally understand the awkwardness… been there too many times. Even huggers have to draw the line somewhere.
Sometimes we do! I think it is good to read the social cues, and be a little selective before we dive in for the big hug
OMG So great! This is so great! I am SUCH A hugger, and i have learned a lot about people who are and who are not this year. Check this out.:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/2011-The-Year-of-Hugging-Fearlessly/202367986458316
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment! I love your project it must be a fantastic way to connect with so many people! I i wish I was brave as you! I’m sending you one very big awkward virtual *HUG*
I’m a hugger and I’m also not a hugger if that makes any sense – it all depends on the hugee
loved the post!
Cheers
Thank you! I think what we would refer to as a selective hugger! It makes perfect sense
I am not a hugger, I like my space, & I feel very awkward when someone who is not my close family comes in for a hug. I’m like a deer in headlights.
I feel the exact same way! Deer in the headlights is the perfect description
My family and I are not huggers. I used to be awkward when it comes to being hugged and returning a hug. I would sometimes focus on a movie scene that has people hugging in it and see how they go about it.
But nothing beats being hugged by people whom you love and love you back, especially when you are in your bleakest moment. You will never know when you will need one.
It’s true sometimes a hug in our bleakest moments can make all the difference in our day. Sometimes we just need a hug
Hugging my boss before and after my performance review would have seemed crazy until I took a work assignment in Chilé. At first it was a little awkward, but it gradually became natural.
Now that I’m back in the States I’ve slowly returned to my non-hugging ways, but sometimes I miss living in a hugging culture.
It must have been a wonderful experience to work in Chile and immerse yourself in their culture. I think I would find it awkward to be hugging everyone! However, I wonder if it is just practice and hugging out of your comfort zone that makes it all the better?
Belle, I am definitely a hugger! After all, it’s been medically proven to be beneficial to us, emotionally, mentally and physically. I make sure I get as many hugs from whomever is around, and yes, Roxy’s hugs count too!
Congrats on being freshly pressed, my friend!
Thank you! Roxy’s hugs definitely count! They can be extremely therapeutic when they come from the ones you love
Some in my family do and some don’t.
I have childhood memories of having to hug various aunt’s and cousins at parties and family gatherings so I do not like it. “Give your aunt (insert name of family member here) a hug and say hello.” I would give her a halfhearted hug while hoping it would end as quickly as possible and thinking to myself “I really don’t know who this person is, she looks like she is about 900 years old and smells like old person.” So I think that is why I usually do not hug. But if I know the person and the moment seems appropriate, i.e. I have not seen the person in a long time and the body language seems to allow it, I will hug. But usually, I will not.
Although if hug just happens I will not shy away.
Unless she smells of Jean Nate and cold cream.
Hahaha! My great aunts use to wear Chantilly Lace! Do you remember that smell? My family is a group of selective huggers we hug during really good times or really bad. It works for us
I am a hugger, in fact I love to give a BIG embrace. It’s a little awkward because I am also a cheek kisser, so often I go for a cheek kiss and a full embrace hug I have found that this is really not the best combo. I am not awkward but I have gotten some really strange responses!
I will have to remember this if I ever meet you! And I promise I will try my hardest not to be awkward
Hugs all around I say.
Give hugs a chance
Hm, I don’t know if I would classify myself as a hugger or not… I like to be hugged and will return one with enthusiasm, but I am far to socially awkward to feel at all comfortable with initiating, unless it is with someone I know VERY well. But there is every type…
I feel the same way! I think there has to be a connection or a camaraderie of spirit in a hug.
Agreed. But if a stranger hugs me, I’ll hug back enthusiastically! I just don’t want to offend others.
I think for me it depends on the stranger
This cracked me up too
I’m glad to have made you laugh!
I’ve never been a hugger, but it seems the older I get, the more i find myself hugging! It’s usually someone i havent seen for awhile, someone special to me.
The best hugs are the ones off meaning and are from the ones we love at those special times in our life.
I’ve found that with other guys I’m more of a fist bumper, its easier that a handshake. At my age there are 20 different ways to shake a guy’s hand. Fist bumping is simple and universal.
Females tend to open their arms to me to hug before the goodbye is even said. I guess it makes sense but I’m not one to offer a hug up.
I have to remember that the fist bump is the universal! I think it should be a t-shirt slogan
This is so funny! This post is exactly what my boyfriend does. I, myself, hug only when I feel that I’m comfortable enough with the person to do so. My boyfriend isn’t. Which makes his hugs with me feel incredibly special. Thanks for sharing!
The best hugs come from the one we love! Your boyfriend must love you with all of his heart! Enjoy your hugs
I think touch in important. When I see those that find themselves alone, such as the aged … I see in them the need for a smile or small affection or human touch. I felt alone growing up, and that is why touch is so important to me. I however am aware that my need can cause me to be overzellus. I have learned to read others, wait for their lead or simply ask for their want or consent. Share if you can.
It’s always nice to share hug or two if you can and even better if you can read body language. It’s amazing how everyone has been affected by a hug and what it means to them
Depends on the person and the situation, but in general, no! I find it just plain weird hugging different people that you either don’t know or don’t know very well, just not right I’m tellin ya.
Btw… If you find hugs ackward, I’ve got one for you… I went to my girlfriend’s employee appreciation dinner a few weeks ago and some lady that she worked with walked up to us, I thought she was coming in for a hug and then it happened…. She kissed me! Right on the lips. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say or do!!!! Talk about ackward!!!!
Ack! I wouldn’t know what to do! Now that is awkward!
It isn’t right! Is it?
Nothing worse than a one boober hug.
http://www.foundobjectbeachart.wordpress.com
Boobers can be deadly
I am a hugger, and if I know you well enough, I am a cheek kisser as well. LOL I am just an affectionate person. Meanwhile “back at the ranch”, majority of my family members are the complete opposite. I stand out, but I wouldn’t change it for anyone. LOL
Check out my blog at http://simplystudded.com/category/food/.
It’s always good to share a hug with the ones you love
I love hugs. But only from people I want to have touch me, no creepy hugs, please! Also, pay attention to cues, if I move to pull away, release immediately! Otherwise, creepy!
That would be creepy! Social cues are extremely important to a good hug
I love hugs! I hug my mom every day and I like to hug my friends in greeting. Hugging acquaintances, though, would seem odd and pretentious.
I bet your Mom loves all of your hugs
I have to hug my wife tonigh
I bet she will appreciate it
For me, it always depends on the person…For example, there’s a friend I’ve had for ages, and I refuse to give him a hug.
This is the south, so it’s as common as saying “Hello”, and he’s coldly rejected whenever he asks for one.
However, there’s another friend I have whom I go out of my way to hug.
Some people just don’t deserve my signals of affection.
No they do not deserve your affection! I didn’t realize the South was so big on hugs this seems to be a trend
I avoid hugs at just about all costs. I don’t like it. At ALL. When I went to university, it was SUPER weird every time my parents dropped me off or picked me up from the airport. There was this Oh-GOD-now-we-have-to-hug thing between us. I blame my parents. They weren’t affectionate enough or something. I’m weirded out by people who feel the need to stick their arms out at me as they approach, just because we haven’t seen each other in a while. *shivers* Don’t do it, people! Just… Don’t. It’s WEIRD. See this here? *draws invisible box around self with index finger* This is my space. You stay out there. K, thanks, bye.
I should do that the next time someone dives in for a hug! I will mime my personal space!
I guess I’m not much of a hugger. But when I gathered together a drill with a mile of extension cord and a cordless pocket driver, a level, a stud finder, a half dozen styles of fasteners including no-drill-needed, so called “self-tapping” screws, tape measure, two ladders, and the curtain rod still fell down under the weight of my wife’s favorite bamboo curtains (in front of her)–I needed a hug…which I got.
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
Jim Amos, MD
The Practical Psychosomaticist
Thank you! That sounded like a lot of work! I think I would have needed a hug too
i’m not a hugger, but my husband’s family is. after almost 7 years, i still find it awkward to hug them. i’m also not big on hugging close friends, let alone acquaintances, but i do it anyway, quickly.
I’m a quick hugger too! 0.02 seconds and done with
I am very much a hugger. It just brightens up my day as well as the other person on the receiving end. Too much negativity in our world, we need something to lighten up with.
A hug is bound to lighten anybody’s day especially from close family and friends
I am NOT a big hugger, but i will give one to my mom and even my mother in-law but every time i get together with my wife’s extended family or my brothers in-laws they love to give hugs and even kisses and i always try to be busy so i can avoid all the hugs and kisses but they usually force themselves on me and i hate it.
the worst part is i will be seeing them again in just about 48 hours, i can feel the dread already.
That’s funny! I sometimes wonder if huggers do it to torture us?
I am a big of a hugging whore. I love hugs. In fact, you inspired me to write a post about it!
http://blogistonia.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/i-give-good-hugs/
You just made me smile! I wish I was a hugging whore! But sadly I am not…Great post!
Wow! Great responses! Were you Freshly Pressed?
I’m a handshake kind of girl unless I know and love you.
I was freshly pressed and the response has been over-whelming! I never knew so many people had their opinions on hugging
I am the same Tilly! A firm handshake is a nice fresh start to getting to know that special somebody.
Much better, isn’t it? People are intimate too quickly and regret it even quicker.
Congrats on being FPed. I hope it brought you lots of new followers
So true Tilly! Best to avoid the regret
The response has been really over-whelming and lots of new blogs for me to read!
I definitely only hug my boyfriend. Whenever someone else tries to hug me, it makes my skin crawl. It always turns into this awkward thing where we are bumping into each other or either I or the other person goes into close or something totally uncalled for and unnecessary.
My dad is a hugger! Which can get pretty annoying. I usually either do the ass out hug that I am made fun of by my family constantly or the accordion arm thing where I am literally pushed myself off of him but he doesn’t care he squeezes tighter. I guess because he’s my dad and that is what they do.
Great Post!
It is what they do
I have learned a lot but hugs in the past week the 0.02 rule, the side hug, the categorized hug, the selective hug, and now the accordion hug. It really is nice to know I’m not the only one who has an aversion to hugs at times!
Flicked back through some Freshly Pressed blogs, and like the title of your post…
I’m definately a hugger, and have no hesitations about hugging someone I hardly know. BUT, ‘cus there’s a but here, I’m also kind of nervous about diving in to hug someone who is a pathological NON-hugger, because the awkwardness in their squirms and the either uncomfortable silence or desperate chattering that follows is just as horrifying for me, the hugger, as I imagine it is for them, the non-hugger.
So unless the person on the other end is someone I know and that I am on a “hugging basis” with, I never initiate the hug.
If they don’t go for it, neither will I – but if they do (almost regardless of who they are, if I know them or not) I’ll dive right in there!
Go get them tiger! I like the way you dive right in there – it’s awesome! I’m sorry us non-huggers makes it awkward for huggers
I am a total hugger. In fact when I left home for the first time for studies, I missed Mom’s hugs on every occasion. So much so, that whenever I’d come back from home during some vacation or something, I would try to remember if I had hugged Mom, just like you try to recall if you have packed everything.
Hugs totally mean a lot to me!
I always give my children hugs! They are so precious how could you not! I bet your Mom appreciates all of your hugs
I am a hugger. In fact, I say that “I’m lap-dog friendly”! That said, I do try to judge the people in a situation before I get up all in their face, tho. My best bud really isn’t a hugger but just like I hold myself back when it comes to hugging her, she tries to meet me almost half-way! lol
LOL! At least she tries to meet you half way! It’s a start
I think I’m a hugger. It’s a family custom… my family, cousins, relatives, even friends.
OMG… 546 responses… I’m too late for the party. lol!
Cheers !
LOL! You are never late for a good blogging party! Enjoy all of those hugs
Clearly this topic strikes a nerve! Really amazing!
LOL! I know! It shocked the heck out of me! I never knew so many people could have so many opinions about hugs
I had never thought of myself as a hugger until several years ago when a great aunt told me I didn’t know how to hug. I still have the picture of us kind of hugging with our bodies so far apart – it really is comical! But I think that over time, the more one hugs, they easier it is. Now I love to give hugs to my friends!