I Sold My Soul to lululemon

 

It has been an ongoing conversation between my friend Callie and I about the obsession over lululemon. We would always chuckle about the over priced yoga pants and tank tops. We would question,  if Yoga is  about  lifestyle and acceptance of self, than why are people so hell-bent on spending so much money on gym attire? It was over these conversations in which we both vowed we would never purchase anything from lululemon. We would make a point of embracing our cheap smelly sweats and keep our wallets full with money.

It was a grand idea but all of that changed when my dear friend Grace purchased hoodie. It was a reward for herself for all of her weight loss accomplishments. And she deserved it! She earned every thread of it through her dedication and hard work at each boot camp session. I admired her sweater from a far but couldn’t ever consider owning one. I had vowed, repeatedly, to Callie that I would not fall into the clutches of lululemon.

Now, my vow is a dim reminder of how promises and pacts can be broken.  It  was only yesterday as I hobbled through the mall in pain from the previous Boot Camp. And thought of Grace’s present to herself. I looked up and there was lululemon store looking at me from a distance calling my name with its serene glow. I was hesitant at first but thought to myself,”Well it doesn’t hurt to look. I’ll just look.”

I walked in, glancing at the hoodies, they all looked like a warm blankets calling my name.  I decided it wouldn’t hurt to try one on and I sifted through the sizes, the colours, and the sales lady approached to assist me.

“You should try this one on – it just came in today.”

I didn’t want to show enthusiasm. I wasn’t going to be sucked into this cult. I looked at her smiled slowly “It looks great! Thanks!” 

And with that I attempted to try on the sweater. It is at that very moment the Lulu cult had sucked me in as the sales assistant pointed out,“ You know I think you need a smaller size.”

She saw the light of joy in my eyes,  she knew, she had me hook, line, and sinker.  I glanced at myself in the mirror and couldn’t believe how well it sucked in the muffin top. I looked toned and I felt good.  My legs didn’t hurt as bad as before….This scuba hoodie seemed to make everything better.

I looked at the price, I looked at myself in the mirror, back at the price, and then to the sales lady, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to splurge. Right?”

‘No it wouldn’t!”

I am now the owner of a lululemon Hoodie Sweater, with wallet a little lighter, my pride a little smaller, but feeling much warmer on this cold summer day.  I’ve never  loved a sweater so much! And may have sold my soul to lululemon. Now I have to figure out how to break the news to Callie…

Viva Las Vegas: Observations from a Rubber Necker

I’m back from Vegas! And what a trip! It has taken me four days to recover from mimosas in the morning, margaritas in the afternoon, and bottles of wine in the evening.  Not to mention all of the delectable food, gambling, and poolside lounging.  It was a very rough trip!

I would like to say from my stay at The Encore hotel that I was able to do some cultural studies on the human species through sobering observations. However, my mouth half-open in awe the moment we entered the lobby – I knew I was in trouble…

I would like to point out the top five observations that I learned about myself and others in this happening city:

1.       We arrived in Vegas on Friday 13th and then I realized I had 13 letters in my name. I was blessed with the devil’s luck! And took my money to the slots! I won! Being the heavy gambler that I am – I learned a trick. Walk away each time you win!  And over the week I won over 500 bucks!   Needless, to say the outlet malls called my name….

2.       Vegas is a man’s paradise with all of the beautiful women roaming the casinos and bars. However, I would like to advise many of you when planning a night out dress according to how you drink.  A simple sentence just to help you remember “the less of the dress, the less to drink.” I know! I sound like my mother! But at 3am as you stumble out of the bar with your boobs falling out of your tube dress, with your snatch in view for the world,  as you teeter over in your 9 inch heels, you are no longer a beautiful sight.  Stay classy and be a beautiful lassy!

3.       I would like to send a brief a note to the young gentlemen who disturbed my Saturday afternoon slumber by the poolside with your little scuffle over a high-class escort. Really! You are fighting over an escort? Is she really that good? Come on – just go find another one.  I know when it comes to sex it’s hard to use your rational mind but just try. I’m sure there’s probably a cheaper one just around the corner.

4.       I realized I will judge other parents if they bring their kids to Vegas and keep them up all hours of the night.  There’s a magical place for kids to go on vacation it’s called Disney World! Gesh!

5.      Last but not least , I caught a glimpse of the Ms. Universe Contestants as they sauntered into Cirque de Elvis. It was exciting to see these beautiful gazelles and I couldn’t resist clicking several pictures. Needless, to say all of them were gracious, flawless, beautiful woman.  It hurts my throat  not to muster catty word about them.

On that note these are only a few of my less scandalous observations because as you know what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas. Words to live by!