I believe there are moments in a marriage were you need to resist the sudden urge to call them out on their endless BS. My husband is a wonderful, kind, caring man, and great dad. However, he has returned part-time to school to complete his MBA. He works fifty hours a week and goes to school two nights a week. It is in his time consuming quest for greatness that leaves me with the brunt of housework, errands, and taxi service.
Lately, I’ve been feeling bitter and resentful towards his new found love of school (It has become his dirty mistress). But what makes it worse it his pep talks. My husband now feels the need to take his project management skills to the next level in an attempt to manage me. If there is one thing he should learn by now is that I’m unruly and rebellious with any form of pep talk.
I have days were I feel like I live with Seth Godin in search of his purple cow. Unfortunately, I have become that purple cow to my husband. He likes to test his new marketing theories, and project management skills on me. I have retaliated lately by being passive-aggressive, snarky, and bitter.
I don’t want to discuss the Ego Boom after a long day with housework, kids, and navigating the horrors of socialization with other moms on the Playground. It is always at these times when I’m tired and want to discuss books, movies, music. He will begin:
“Sweetie, do you know what the problem with today’s younger society?”
As soon as I hear this question my whole body begins to cringe. And my general response is “Yes, I know it’s the ego boom.”
“Yes, that’s right! We as parents in today’s society just love our kids too much. We tell them how great they are, and now when they enter the workforce, they need to be coddled.”
“Yes honey! I’m sure that is what it is?”
“You know what else?”
“I think we coddle our children too much.”
“We don’t coddle our children.”
“Yes! We do! Especially you! Do you want our children to feel privileged in the workforce and act like their nineteen when they are thirty?”
“I hate to break it to you but our children are six and eight. I think we are fine with the way we are raising them. They are kind, compassionate, active, and polite. What more do you want?”
“I just don’t think you should coddle them anymore.”
It is at this point my mind always begins to wander too far off places. I’m at the coffee shop; the mysterious man walks over, and asks me about my book. We sit, we talk, we laugh, drink coffee, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, this is only a fantasy, and my dream is abruptly halted by my husband saying, “What do you think the problem is with today’s younger generation?”
I blink, stare blankly, and say “I wish I was in the slacker generation. And if I hear about the ego boom one more time this week or I coddle our children too much… I’m going to scream! And throw something directly at your head!”
He then looks at me heartbroken, slinks away quietly, and I feel horrible for voicing my opinion in such a harsh manner. It is then I wonder – am I cranky that I have put my dreams aside in order to let him pursue his career and goals? Maybe? But at the same time I love the freedom of staying home with two little boys and watching them grow. I wouldn’t change that for any Masters Program, cubicle job, or quiet moment in a coffee shop.